vault backup: 2026-04-01 20:42:28

Seighell/Characters/NPCs/P.A.D.E.md

@@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
+---
+tags:
+  - NPC
+  - Automaton
+aliases:
+  - Paddy
+---
+
+| ![[P.A.D.E.png]] | ***"P.A.D.E, Pneumatic Alcohol Dispensing Equipment, or "Paddy", is a keg robot currently owned by the party, aboard [[Tiefstein Tower]]."***<br><br>***"He previously belonged to, and was a guard for, [[Hoover Schlorp]]when he still operated the lighthouse as his research base, but [[Joffrey Tiefstein\|Joffrey]] reprogrammed him after they took possession of it to serve as a bartender."***<br><br>***"He contains the magic hops, that were found on the corpse of another keg robot in [[Session 1]], and produces liberal amounts of excellent beers."*** |
+| ---------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 2.md

@@ -10,13 +10,15 @@ In the months since their previous ordeal, our intrepid hero and accompanying pl
 
 Before his incarceration, he had been wiling away his days fishing and repairing hand carts he’d taken from the local market. Autismus drank approximately five hundred beers, and when not inebriated, spent his days studying the many message boards scattered throughout Seeg-Hell, despite the upset they always seemed to cause him. It would become apparent he’d been reading too many messages when he’d occasionally become angry, accusing others of partaking in his hobby.
 
-Regardless of this, Joffrey was more than happy to furnish them with alcohol, at a generous discount of 5% off, as the most frequent patron of his new establishment, Sheep-Bone Brewery. This tap house seemed to spring from the ether, and although, new to brewing, Joffrey seemed to be a prodigy; everything he made turned to gold, no matter how dubious the ingredients. How peculiar…


Despite the tumultuous distraction of their daily lives, the trio held a sense of unease they were hesitant to discuss. Casting in the depths of their minds, they were unable to determine its source. Between periods of fervent alcoholism, even Autismus was dimly aware of his surroundings and fellow townsfolk having a flavour of unreality, it was as stark as shattered glass, a sudden change of perspective. Something was wrong with Seeg-Hell and its people, they were possessed of a vacancy that was akin to over-indulging in dental hygiene products, and Joffrey was resolved to unravel the mystery.
+Regardless of this, Joffrey was more than happy to furnish them with alcohol, at a generous discount of 5% off, as the most frequent patron of his new establishment, Sheep-Bone Brewery. This tap house seemed to spring from the ether, and although, new to brewing, Joffrey seemed to be a prodigy; everything he made turned to gold, no matter how dubious the ingredients. How peculiar…

+
+Despite the tumultuous distraction of their daily lives, the trio held a sense of unease they were hesitant to discuss. Casting in the depths of their minds, they were unable to determine its source. Between periods of fervent alcoholism, even Autismus was dimly aware of his surroundings and fellow townsfolk having a flavor of unreality, it was as stark as shattered glass, a sudden change of perspective. Something was wrong with Seeg-Hell and its people, they were possessed of a vacancy that was akin to over-indulging in dental hygiene products, and Joffrey was resolved to unravel the mystery.
 
 ——
 
 On a particularly ordinary morning, while waiting for the local fried chicken stand to open for breakfast, Autismus was already several pints deep at his usual table in Sheep-Bone. He wiled away the time ranting and raving about strange entities from the sky, perhaps another plane, and dragon chemtrails turning the local amphibians homosexual; until a stubby green fellow entered.
 
-The filthy creature had been meandering around the town aimlessly until it had seen Sheep-Bone, the one venue that felt… real; there was a sense of life about it when everything else felt off. Joffrey saw the interloper’s beady eyes scanning his patrons and hurried over to have a word with him. Leaning down he enquired if the lower life form was lost and looking for its master, why else would a goblin be in Seeg-Hell ? (edited)


Autismus was far more charitable, simply happy to have an enthusiastic audience for his ramblings and dragged him over to his table. The grubby goblin proclaimed to know all about beings from the skies and encouraged him to follow him back to his tribe to meet them and his queen, a goddess. At this moment, a guard interrupted this meeting of minds with a loud hammering, fixing a new notice to the bar’s message board in the entryway.
+The filthy creature had been meandering around the town aimlessly until it had seen Sheep-Bone, the one venue that felt… real; there was a sense of life about it when everything else felt off. Joffrey saw the interloper’s beady eyes scanning his patrons and hurried over to have a word with him. Leaning down he enquired if the lower life form was lost and looking for its master, why else would a goblin be in Seeg-Hell ?
Autismus was far more charitable, simply happy to have an enthusiastic audience for his ramblings and dragged him over to his table. The grubby goblin proclaimed to know all about beings from the skies and encouraged him to follow him back to his tribe to meet them and his queen, a goddess. At this moment, a guard interrupted this meeting of minds with a loud hammering, fixing a new notice to the bar’s message board in the entryway.
 
 Reading this, Joffrey’s brow knit in concentration and a calculating look passed over his face as he glanced wistfully at the other pair. Shaking his head after a moment of introspection, he presented the scroll to Autismus and explained that Bubba was in prison and they should try and free him. He omitted the paragraph about a reward from the city watch for surrendering co-conspirators, his consideration of Bubba’s imperilled bar tab, as well as his long-term income from their continued patronage.