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4/10/2025
Ship lands erect at the dock, Dyson’s finished his research, Ioun stone of perpetual head scratching +1 int
Autismus doesnt want it
Bubba stashes it for now, wants to put it on a ring, gets gem back once it’s socketed. gives the ring to autismus
big crash into the dock beside the tower, creampie the pilot crashes the space lobster after flailing with levers
squelch gets out and says to straighten it up fuckwit
solkanaar glides down smoothly with a bubble around his head and lands; thinks devils planted the seeds and destroyed the planet with big suck, concerned about their power, wants any information we have.
the rock is a the hub, should be able to get more information, looking for hoover, flies off
Joffrey greets squelch and gives him illithid breastplate +1
autismus looking at his illithid coin and thinking about it, couldn’t be currency, they don’t use currency, hive mind. puts it in his pocket
joffrey going off to market to sell shit, takes 2 vials of replicator dust and lucky rabbit foot off bubba, gets 3 breasted yeti bikini off of autismus
slowbad is coming with the group, squelch finds out he’s a tinkerer and is asking him about upgrading his hammer. “hefty power supply” maybe you should come back to my tribe “the scrapjacks”. he’s a head shorter than squelch, like a midget goblin, different tribe perhaps, squintier eyes.
old dwarves fisherman sitting around winking and nodding at bubba, trying to get his attention. Bubba trying to communicate with him, asks if there is anything unique around here fishing wise. “have you ever heard of a skaver?”

Bubba and this dude talking a bunch of wank about fish “little brown ones, big ones, void ones with glowing red eyes etc”, secret society of fisherman, need to rep up with their faction by fishing, Jahn the fisherman, you should come with me on a trip, i’m here all the time, just check all the good fishing spots around, someone like you should be able to find them. Bubba says he should come find him in a couple days
joffrey goes off to dock master, reads all forms, fees for parking, height of it etc, don’t have a pre existing booking, not a part the merchants guild
joffrey gets him down from 100gp to 5gp, gets on well, both men of culture, talking about scales don’t use them bring your own this place is incredibly corrupt.

Squelch talking to slowbad, tells him to go to happy beholder and find commodore crux
Joffrey negotiates to keep the hamsters on extended loan from slowbad, he’s grateful to be saved etc, joffrey was willing to pay 10x the price of a standard labourer (1gp) per day.
The rest of the party head off towards the happy beholder for drinks and info. all races there, insect people, tiefling, hippo people etc.
giant beholder floating around eying everyone, happy af, got an apron on, hovering drinks etc around with telekinesis from his eyes etc.
welcome, booth over there, can i get you some drinks ? Bubba: sprite ? i can get you some spite !
autismus wants space vodka, spodka, some spacekraut. Squelch wants some water…
in the corner is a big giff (hippo person), commodore crux drowning his sorrows, empties all around him.
Bubba scooting his chair over to him accross the whole bar; asks him what’s wrong with a big smile

“bureaucratic leeches and pointy eared cowards” hates elves etc, stupid elves with their stupid ears, don’t give a fuck about their ancestral home, blow the fuck out of it.
Autismus keen, sits down and says he overheard about space elves, he hates them too

what do you hate the most “their fucking ears” they’ve wormed their way into society, film and banking etc.

GIff taken aback by autismus passionate outburst
he’s been fighting the assholes for years, they sucked off his entire homeland, he used to be in the navy, the giff have nothing left. got booted out of navy for drinking too much. ships been impounded, falsified charges, something about transport tariffs. Autismus : fucking eleven bullshit.

he was gonna join the armada and fight back. they’re draining planets dry just to sustain their sun, they should let it die. they fly to your planet, squirt their seed all over it and suck you dry.
TRUMPED UP TARRIFS! we should build a wall around the whole space elf system!
Squelch says they have a ship, he wants to get his own ship and crew back. if they can help him get it back, he’ll take them to the armada and they can help him. He says they’ve suspended his spelljammer license, he was provoked, he didn’t mean to hit the elf ambassador first.
Squelch suggests making the elf ambassador disappear, the charges would go with him! that’s a great idea !

he has these body guards tho, 3x of them, 8 feet tall, big blazing swords etc.
Autismus says they just killed 3x elfstartes, should be able to take em.
bubba asks for map of the city, there’s one on the wall that he can look at, bubba takes it.
space talent show in 2 hours time 1st prize sentient magic item, 2nd prize clearing bar tab, flier on the wall, 3 parts to it, can enter in teams of 3, people can do different things, 1st impress the crowd, 2nd round quizz, 3rd round is a fight to the death.
on their way back to docks they pass an aristocratic elf in finery, seems very snide and is looking down his nose at everyone. Autismus returns his expression and spits at his feet.
Joffrey has arranged repairs etc, ship is now in drydock
Group tell him about talent show, joffrey takes dyson, from the ship,
squelch telling me about crux’s issues with lawyers, impounded ship, tarrifs etc, he’s very interested.
Joffrey wants to enter too, enters dyson for quiz, random mercenary veteran with a longsword “Kilgore the Destroyer”
austismus goes up to bookie bets 5gp on each of them to win

Joffrey goes up, performative, leaning on cane etc, coughing, lies about entering and not being very good. manages to convince him, given 5 to 1 odds, bets 20gp (max bet), stands up smartly “thanks very much” strides off with flames coming from bagpipes. bookie looking salty.
beholder running show “happy luigi” welcoming everyone, random group gets called up, crowd only luke warm, not very excited so far.

random elf is first up (not a space elf), shooting ping pong balls out of her dress, autismus frantically trying to catch them, quite excited. 2 people fighting over one of the balls etc.
up next is random orc, some cheering from his team, out come plate of swords etc, starts eating them, swallowing them. no one is as excited as by the elf chick.
Bubba gets called up next, says he’s a trained professional, don’t do this at home, he flops out his dick under a cloth and is doing puppetry of the penis, going through his cast fishing rod etc, floating around as it’s secretly replaced be the invisible imp.
Joffrey plays his flaming bagpipes and does the solo from “a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll”, rolls a 9, pretty meh.
next up is another halfling, does juggling and acrobatics, pretty good, joffrey claps while others boo
scores : elf - 6/5, orc swallows - 3/5, bubba - 1/5, joffrey 3/5, halfling juggling 4/5.
Round 2 quiz:
General lore question: who is the goddess of magic in the setting?

Jack: John ?
Dyson: rolls 15, knows the answer.
Second question: which outer plane is home to demons
Jack: abyss ? Correct
Dyson: 10 total, doesnt know
Third question: what is the maximum spell level that a wizard can cast
Jack: 10 ?
Dyson: rolls 17, knows the answer
Fourth question: how many hit points does a bag of holding have ?

Jack: none ? correct

Dyson: rolls 4, doesn’t know
Final question: name the chromatic dragon goddess

Jack: Tiamat

Dyson: rolls 16 correct
3 points each for this round, another team got 3, others scored low
ranking elves: 6, orcs 5, chads 4, joffrey on 6, halflings 7
Final round: combat “Luigi says we can’t have a fight to the death in city limits, it’s going to be an arm wrestle competition against the bouncer.

Joffrey team initiative 10, squelch 9, elves 13, orcs 1, halflings 13
elves get the by
Kilgore 20 vs halflings 18, halflings eliminated
Squelch tries to intimidate orcs, fails, orc rolls a 1 anyway, squelch 15; breaks the orc’s arm
kilgore gets the by in this round
squelch rolls 22, beats the elf,
Kilgore and Squelch in the final round
Kilgore gets 7, squelch rolls high and beats him
Final ranking:
halflings: 8
orcs: 6
elves: 8
chads: 9
Joffrey: 10
Bubba’s team get theirs and Crux’s bar tab payed off, joffrey gets a sentient desk lamp called Lumio. basically rob the lamp
Group goes to the great market, joffrey vendors all their mundane shit, rolls 26 persuade, gets 200% item value, 1386gp
autismus gives him 250 gp from his winnings to divvy up; Joffrey offers the party 200gp each, but offers a deal to keep half their wages to help them negotiate for whatever they would like to buy. Bubba and autismus accept
dispenses 400gp total, 100 each to aut and bubba, 200 for squelch
autismus confused about giving him 250 gp but only getting 100 back
joffrey waves them on, don’t worry about it, you don’t have a head for money
Joffrey spends 30 gp after rolling a 1 on upgrading his armor to fancy captains coat and gets a new fancy spanish style captains hat with a big feather in it.
Bubba wants a magic blow gun, asks joffrey to help him, initial offer is 200gp, says 300 for a tiefling after seeing joffrey, joffrey tries to haggle, the man says if the goblin does a backflip, he’ll make it 150gp. Squelch succeeds, joffrey tries to offer him clear sapphires to reduce the price to 100 but he wont budge, says he has no use for marbles around here.
autismus offered a “belt of gender changing” by a random vendor, he declines
Autismus looking for defence, finds a cloak of protection for 250gp, fails rolls but gets him down to 225; he says he’ll think about it and goes and tells joffrey
joffrey comes into the store with a sad old man act, shows the vendor the cloak and says he could use something to stop his son from beating him, he’s very vulnerable, rolls 21, gets him down to 115, offers him clear sapphires, wont budge, tells him to go to the jewellers and sell them then come back with the money.
Joffrey accepts 115, abruptly stops acting poorly and walks out of the shop, autismus pays 100 out of pocket, joffrey pays the 15 from the pot.
down to 1091 gold.
squelch gone to slowbads clan building, wants to get his hammer aesthetically improved.
Squelch explaining how his tribe is in the service of a black dragon, she took the fish people and goblins with her into space when planet was big sucked. chunk of the planet she took with them.
he expresses that he wants to go home, wishes their planet wasn’t getting sucked, its not dead yet.
slowbad says they should go with com. crux and help them fight against the elves.
says he’d like to kill the dragons too, asks if they could modify his hammer for dragon killing
he’d like a chunk of a planet just for his tribe
slowbad suggests that the whacksplat could be used as a fuel source for a big rocket
squelch opts to leave the weapon with him, takes a +1 mace equivalent off him, basically some scrap metal.
leaves there, bubba wants to go fishing, looks like graveyard would be an acceptable place to access the lake. whistling and wanders through the graveyard upbeat while people are grieving, having funerals etc. spends the day there.
he rolls 17 and catches a space guppy, 3ft long fish with 3 eyes and its trying to fly away as he reels it in. got space guppy meat now
rolls 22, gets a space eel, it tries to bite him, 5ft long, 2dmg, tries to latch on, succeeds, whips with tail 2dmg, doesnt poison him.
bubba fails to hit on first attack, second one hits it and its knocked out. acquired space eel
rolls 24 for fishing: 6ft long skaver, baby one, fails strength check, snaps his line
Bubba leaves as another funeral is on, disturbs them as well, hooks the body accidentally
back in pub, talking to crux, will help him get his ship back, Joffrey thinks they shouldn’t kill the elven ambassador. probs go through merchant guild and try to get ship out of impound. might be difficult dealing with the legal issues about his spell jamming license being suspended.

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- Docks - Flapjack + Dyson "There are renos going on, can't stay here"
- Group takes residence in the "Golden Cock"
- At breaksfast the next morning and Crux shows up to talk about their plans
- Autismus and crux go boozing after Joffrey gives them 100gp to get rid of them for the day
- Joffrey gets into his fancy clothes and adopts his alter ego "Duke Ary Magini" (talks like a southern gentleman) to go and see Ambassador Katar Von Erg
- Goes to the temple of Waukeen in the temple district on the way there and makes a donation of 50gp and prays for the goddess' favor in his coming diplomatic trials.
- On his way to the upper city he notices 3 star moths flying overhead in formation, possibly heading for the docks
- He bluffs his way past the guards at the gate to the upper city and flicks them a gold coin, tells them to keep up the good work
- Finds a black halfling gardener called "bad boy bubby" tending to some fancy hedges and questions him about his master and if he knows where the ambassador stays.
- Directed to "The Golden Shower" fancy inn and heads in that direction
- Bubba is fishing off the side of the asteroid in a new location and catches 2x small fish, then hooks a big 6ft skaver and has to fight it. Kills and catches it.
- Takes fish to Jahn who isnt that impressed and says he has to find something more special to gain entrance to the fisherman's guild. He gifts the fish to him anyway.
- Bubba wanderes off hoping ot find Autismus
- Autismus is playing dice on a street corner with a black halfling, crux and some other creatures
- He notices a group of 6x elfstartes/elves marching up from the dock, towards the upper city
- Crux notices too and starts to boil over and Autismus attempts to calm him down successfully.
- They decided to follow the elves and see where they are going and successfully manage to follow them up the street in a comical display, leaping over food vendor carts, disguising themselves with garbage and ramen boxes etc.
- Joffrey arrives at the Golden Shower and talks to the front of house lady, and she attempts to discourage him, thinking he'd flirt with her and says he couldnt afford her.
- he assures her that he has a lot of money and could definitely afford her but that's not what he's there for
- Asks to see ambassador and expresses that it's important
- made to wait, orders a drink (mint julip) after 5 mins and moves to the fancy bar from the waiting lounge he was in earlier
- After another 10 mins the Ambassador comes out, has a white veil on that mostly obscures his face, brusquely asks what this is about.
- Joffrey bandies back and forth, eventually getting the ambassador to agree to drop the charges (not that the ambassador could be bothered showing up to a trial anyway) and they bond over their mutual hate of xenos.
- Ambassador refuses to help beyond this and says Joffrey is free to go and talk to the merchants guild if he wants, but he isnt going to help him.
- Joffrey tries to work some angles to see if he can get more out of him and maybe get a letter of marque so that he can have permission to carry banned elven gear on his ship, perhaps in exchange for proof of destroyed griff ships.
- Ambassador says that for now, he can go off and get some information for them, and if he proves useful, maybe they can look at other arrangements at a later date.
- As Joffrey is leaving, he sees some Elfstartes entering and carrying a stack of documents, can't see what they are, too busy bowing and scraping on his way out.
- Autismus uses his invisible imp to get some drone footage of the elfstartes and see that the documents they are carrying seem to be wanted posters and the one on the top looks like Bubba with a reward of 2 thousand gold for "war crimes"
- Joffrey is walking out of the upper city gate, says goodbye to the guards again, notices the rest of the group covered in trash, loitering around the gate and tries not to be seen.
- Bubba and Autismus don't recognise him, but Crux does and as he realises this, he Message's Autismus to keep quiet, not acknowledge him and go another route; he'd meet them in the market district shortly.
- Meet in market district, exchange information; Tells Crux he got his license back and that he punched the ambassador loads. Crux very pleased by this.
- Joffrey very excited by the 2 thousand gold reward on Bubba and jokes they could hand Bubba in and buy a new halfling for far less.
- Autismus goes wandering and is offered a dagwood dog, he orders 2 and says one is for Bubba
- Bubba mis-hears, asks if this is a disabled dog and receives a disabled dog (daschund in a wheelchair) that he names "cinammon"
- Joffrey tells a vendor he's in the market for a cat, is offered a displacer beast, this seems far too over the top and dangerous, clarifies that he just wants a domestic cat and is told to just get a stray. finds one almost immediately and makes an initial attempt to tame it, successful, taking it with him
- Goes to magistrate office/merchants guild HQ, there is a big queue and he looks about and notices a privileged person express queue. Mimics the person ahead of him and makes it to the front of the line, ushered by a black halfling.
- Talks to teller, they review Crux's file, seems fraudulent, claims that he's got 10 grand in taxes on him because he was allegedly carrying 100 grand of smokeleaf, although that seems impossible.
- Joffrey bribes him to talk to a manager and is lead to another fancy waiting area.
- person ahead of him leaving the magistrate's office seems upset and joffrey tips his hat to him and says hello politely, then goes in.
- Magistrate is a little black, grey, brown gnome in fancy chair at a big desk covered with documents and a magic quill called "inksniffer".
- they discuss the file on crux after it magically arrives and Joffrey says he's there on behalf of the elven ambassador
- paperwork battle ensues with joffrey trying to convince the gnome that Crux's galleon that's up for auction is probably worthless and full of griff poop and space termites, then bribes him with a ruby and convinces him it would be a lot less work to just let this case get lost.
- Gets paperwork for ship release that he has to take to the docks and co-sign with crux to get the galleon back
- meets back up with others, tells crux his ship is now freed, still in character, stuck method acting
- Go to the docks and talk to the shipright to see how repairs are progressing of Tiefstein Tower, don't want ot leave that behind.
- its gonna take weeks to finish, try to argue with the foreman about the repairs and try to get the time down as Crux wants to leave immediately. fails and they tell him it takes as long as it takes; it could be done in 4 days at a massive expense.
- Joffrey apologises for his frustrations
- They go and co-sign the release of the ship at the dockmaster's office and Crux runs off to gather his crew to leave by the following day. Thanks Joffrey and after he enquires about becoming Crux's second officer tentatively, as part of the crew merger, Crux clarifiies that he's happy for Joffrey to be in command.
- Joffrey heads to Waukeen's temple, gives thanks for all his successes, donates another 10gp and is acknowledged by one of the priests.

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- Everyone meets at the dock, ready to board "
Second Wind", Crux's self-healing, scabby old galleon with a couple of ballistas and a treant catapult.
- Goblins latch the lobster ship to the bottom of Second Wind and Squelch summons his steed, a celestial lizard with colour shifting sequin scales to help them get up on deck.
- Crux assembles his dodgy crew to present to the party, there are only 5 of them and they are a sorry bunch with various afflictions
- Crux warns Joffrey that the monkey man (Hatoozi) Mr Gibbons likes to argue and Joffrey tells him thats fine, he also loves to argue. "no, no, he likes to argue and then things escalate" Joffrey affirms that he is the same. "No i meant he will start throwing his own shit"
- Mr Gibbons doesn't believe in magic but is devoutly religious, Joffrey says not to worry, all his "spells" are just religious miracles
- Mr Gibbons is interested in fashion and dismayed by the state of Bubba, Squelch and Autismus, says he can help them out; invites Autismus to his quarters
- Is the lobster ship successfully attached ? Mark makes a blind role and will find out later
- Getting underway, how will the party help ? Bubba: whips the monkey-man to motivate him, Autismus: helps the crew with the ropes, Squelch starts CUTTING the mooring ropes, upsets Crux, Joffrey drags an ornate chair out of the captains office and sits down, then says something inspirational to the crew.
- Next issue is that the ride is a bit bumpy because of a dodgy spelljammer throne, got some illegal gravity fish to compensate; someone will need to feed them
- Autismus and Bubba go to feed them, they discover a hold full of 400 barrels of smokeleaf in all manner of varieties… the Elven allegations were true….
- the fish are large and like a cross between a piranha and a pufferfish.
- Bubba slings his rod under their tank with a guppy on it and it floats upward into their upside down tank and they hoe into it. One gets hooked but he cuts the line, only wants to feed them for now.
- Asked about his fishing rod and how much line he has, decides the line is made from tiefling hair as it’s very strong and sleek, he’s been harvesting it from Autismus’ head in his sleep to replenish his reel.
- Ship is stabilised now the fish are fed.
- Bubba and Autismus head upstairs again, bubba carrying his dog, ‘tismus considers using mage hand to help, dog is too heavy, decided to cast it on his balls instead.
- Those two don’t tell Joffrey or squelch what they found in the hold.
- Autismus has an aside with Crux and mentions the smokeleaf and asks if he’s in to dodgy shit, no just eats it but also helps to pay the crew and bills. Discuss weed and kelp sandwiches.
- Now nighttime, Autismus climbs to the crows nest to talk to the one eyed, hippy, lizard man that is meditating while he’s meant to be on watch. “Vask” centring his soul.
- Screaming noise starts very quiet and slowly increases in volume over an hour, Autismus hears it but everyone else is in bed. Squelch curled up on deck with lizard, bubba curled up with cinnamon on deck at the back of the ship, Joffrey in captains quarters with a fancy silk eye mask on in a nice bed.
- Autismus wakes Squelch and Bubba, goes downstairs and throws water over Joffrey to try and wake him. J magnifies voice and calls for silence, magically slams door, Autismus goes back in and tells Joffrey he heard a scary noise.
- Crux comes back on deck, says it’s the void goo and they need to deal with it or it will keep getting worse. Joffrey dismisses Autismus to go deal with it and goes back to bed.
- Black gunk on the front of the ship emitting noise, squelch goes to check with the lizard using its “spider climb” ability. Bubba tosses him a bottle and wants a sample, squelch experiments on it with his dagger, ineffective. It’s giving him a headache
- Autismus tries “feeding” it some of the space tobacco, doesn’t work. Tries lighting cigarette and pressing it in to the goo, no reaction.
- Squelch tries a bottle of acid, not enough liquid to get all the goo, only affects a small area.
- Joffrey is TRYING TO SLEEP! arrives on deck, asks to be sent down there, squelch won’t give up his lizard.
- Squelch decides to go under the ship and see if the lobster is still there - nope.
- Creampie is back at the Rock of Braal just floating there. Does int check, crit fails, likely attaches to a random ship and goes on an adventure.
- Mr Gibbons rocks up, asks what they are doing and why they aren’t using the goo squeegee ? Squelch gets tossed the squeegee and removes the goo successfully.
- Squelch rolls for how much thc was on that cigarette from Autismus that he took a drag on, 68%, he’s high as ball now.
- There’s a concern that he might have fallen off the lizard but remembers it has gecko skin and he’s stuck to it, doesn’t have to worry about a saddle.
- Bubba cleans off the squeegee into a vial to collect a sample of void goo.
- Squelch reveals the lobster is gone, Joffrey goes back to bed, sighing.
- Autismus asks Gibbon about void goo, he tells him it’s goo from the void ? It screams and probably eats light, clings to stuff and is the worst. See space hulks infested and eaten by it. Is a catty bitch and criticizes Autismus outfit. Invites him to his cabin if he’d like some help with it. It’s 2am. Gibbon is basically Glenn and has one button done wrong. Autismus declines.
- Everyone is back in bed, aut goes down to cargo hold to fill up on smokeleaf again, runs into Crux and catches him eating it.
- Joffrey wakes up the next day and is very crabby, the wind kept him up all night.
- They are still travelling to the edge of the system, can see a giant beam of light coming from their planet as it’s being consumed shooting off into the distance.
- Autismus wakes to find he’s missing a shoe, took them off before bed. Goes up on deck, starts raging about where his shoe is.
- He tries to order his imp to sniff his shoe and then sniff the other one out, his imp refuses, he’s not a slave, they argue for a while. Imp says HE should sniff his own shoe, Autismus does this intimidatingly and convinces the imp to sniff as well. Now what ? Sniff out the other shoe ? He’s not a sniffer dog! Autismus’ nose is ten times as big!
- Bubba uses his superior tracking skills to get the trail, leads him to mysterious chest. Taps it, starts growling, it’s the ship’s pet mimic. Advised to try offering something else to get his shoe back. It bites Bubba when he keeps fiddling with it.
- Autismus tries to offer it his sheepskin cape (from sheepgoblinborn ep1) not interested.
- tries 5 gold like fish food, it loves that, gobbles them up, still doesn’t get shoe back
- Crew member walking past laughs at Autismus, says mimic loves boots. It’s Peggy the deckhand, has a peg leg.
- Autismus considers stealing her peg leg with magic to feed to the mimic.
- Autismus manages to feed it 10 more gold and get back his shoe but loses the sheepskin cape in the process
- Been travelling for a couple of days, squelch concerned they don’t know where they’re going, Crux insists he knows, using a compass that is spazzing out. When questioned says that they’re going to his friend’s place, need star maps, lost his ability to navigate the astral sea; then they can find the astral elve’s armada and then join the fight against them.
- Bangs on about the astral elves attacking and big succing planets to fuel their home system’s dying star. When questioned about WHEN his homeward was destroyed, he admits it was decades ago and it took 2 months for total destruction.
- Only 4 hours from the cartographer’s place.
- Autismus returns to crow’s nest and asks Vask if Crux is nuts “he shits a lot” is all he has to say, as though this is profound, then takes a deep breath and returns to his meditation.
- Bubba and Joffrey make their respective animal handling rolls, Both fail and Joffrey is scratched and takes minor damage.
- Joffrey does his “here comes the money” intro on deck and makes it rain 20 silver to motivate the crew, autismus and the mimic appear and scrabble trying to get some of the coins
- Arrive at Toopla’s Tower, she’s standing on the dock jiggling about excitedly, her tower sort of looks like an offset pile of toilet rolls; have to park the ship further out and take a jolly boat in to her dock, who’s rowing ? Not Joffrey
- Crux stands on the bow of the rowboat, Joffrey stands slightly in front of him with his sword out, dramatically.
- As they’re crossing the distance, a glowing light appears and gets brighter, then this giant, 20 foot long, Scaver appears with huge jaws and tries to frighten the party and crux. Frightens Bubba
- Attacks Joffrey, 29 to hit, does 27 dmg but doesn’t succeed in swallowing him or frightening him
- The fish is defeated mostly by Bubba, Joffrey resigns himself to rowing after he can’t cast heat metal on the hook or really do any damage at range; Autismus lobs spells and Squelch also focuses on rowing as he’s frightened. Autismus and Joffrey almost got one-shot during the fight
- Squelch jumps off the boat as soon as its near enough to the dock and retreats, followed by Joffrey, who immediately heals himself as much as he can.
- Autismus gets killing blow with magic missile, Bubba harvests its head and some void skaver scales
- Upon its death it vomits up a dwarven body, its a skeleton inside of a “fish suit” (basically a scuba/space suit that gives you a move speed improvement in water/space)
- Bubba loots fish suit, Autismus searches the body and removes its golden tooth.
- Joffrey reminds them to make sure someone ties up the boat and Bubba does.
- Crux didn’t help at all, gets off boat, congratulates party and warmly greets Toopla
- Toopla asks if they are there to help her out with her predicament; what predicament ?
- Autognomes she got along with the new telescope she bought have gone mad with security and locked her out of her tower.
- Offers Joffrey the sheet with the instructions/code on it, he informs her that he has no need of keys, snaps his fingers and casts “Knock” from 20 meters away, unlocking the door instantly.
- She asks him how good he is at not being charmed by enormous tits, he says he does the charming around here, crit succeeds his wisdom save; she’s very taken with him and his ability to resist her.
- She mentioned all the new expensive equipment she’d bought and he disregarded her and immediately went to enter the tower.
- He walks through the door and is immediately downed by the trap that is on the front door that causes it to slam outwards into him putting his head through the door, it does 10d6 dmg (43 dmg)
- Squelch manages to succeed in removing him from the door and saves him from perma-death, then heals him for 20
- Joffrey proceeds to heal himself as best he can, again, now furious and stressed from almost dying twice in the last 10 mins and being kept up at night by the void ooze.
- Grabs Toopla and starts dragging her to push her through the door in-front of him, Crux jumps in front of him, protests and tries to diffuse the situation. Manages to calm things down and restore order after asserting that this was caused by the Autognomes, not by Toopla.
- Go in to tower, grow tubs and magic garden, grow lights, fruits, wheat etc being grown, some Autognomes working that aren’t crazy
- Toopla says it must be the ones in the top of the tower that she set to enhanced security mode that are the issue.
- Sealed circular hatch in the roof, rope hanging down that magically levitates you up or down when you hold it
- Mechanism with a bucket of gears etc 3m off the ground that seems to be what you have to manipulate to enter the code for the hatch.
- Autismus tries to get his imp to go up and check out the bucket, comes back and reports its full of gears
- Joffrey expresses his displeasure at all they have had to go through just to get here, and that they should just blow up the hatch, topple protests damaging her house and asks them nicely not to.
- Joffrey tells her that she doesn’t understand all the hardships and lies they’ve had to endure, crux is full of shit; Toopla says that he doesn’t lie, he’s the most …. Un-lie-iest person that she knows, he wouldn’t lie to her, they’re friends.
- Joffrey says how does she know they are friends, crux might have lied to her and she looks nervously at crux and asks what Joffrey knows, what has he said and he ignores her, leaves her on read.
- Joffrey tries to send Mr Gibbons a message with the details of the riddle as they are all struggling to figure out the code to open the door; when the puzzle is finally solved, Gibbons replies with the same value.
- Squelch goes through the hatch first after checking for traps, there is a kitchen with a pair of Autognomes preparing food, oblivious to anything, passive, there is a bedroom corner with a wardrobe etc, window, bookshelves etc.
- Toopla is happy and goes up with them, pleased to see the gnomes preparing food and invites everyone to have dinner.
- Out the window they can see their ship and the dock etc nothing out of the ordinary.
- Another hatch in the ceiling, appears to be magic, glowing, intricate glyphs, hovering magic cogs, looks like some Dr Strange portal shit.
- Bubba examines the gnomes in the gardens on the ground floor while autismus and squelch are upstairs; Joffrey lingers for a second but goes up when the hatch appears safe.
- Joffrey tries to do an appraisal of the Autognomes, apparently roughly 1500 gold
- Squelch tries to talk to one of the cooking autonomies but they aren’t really helpful or able to speak beyond saying their current assigned task and their number designation. Number 1 priority is to protect Toopla, number 2 priority is to cook food
- Toopla shows them how she can create windows at will in her tower, the walls can go transparent and Squelch goes outside to see if he can see any windows on the top level from the outside, there are none, its completely sealed currently.
- Autismus examines the magic hatch, can see its an insane magic lock but it would be possible to sort of hack through it with his arcana skill, theoretically. Doesn’t look dangerous, uses perception anyway and can’t see any traps.
- Joffrey asks Autismus if he needs some help from dad after he fails hopelessly to open the magic lock
- Joffrey casts knock on the door after some confusion on whether the knock spell could work on arcane locks; it would work, but he doesn’t use it for now, allowing others to try and solve the puzzle.
- Bubba makes an attempt and fails
- Toopla asks if they can break the door down, contradicting her previous sentiment that they weren’t to damage her home
- Autismus casts magic missile at the door to see what happens, it doesn’t do any damage but it does increase his intelligence score unexpectedly.
- Joffrey asks Toopla if she knows anything about what just happened, but she has no idea and is unhelpful.
- Squelch goes up and hits the door with his sword, gains some intelligence as well but the door takes no visible damage.
- Autismus, Squelch and Bubba continue trying to hit the door to see what happens and their intelligence continually increases with each hit.
- This causes their arcana checks against the magical lock mechanism to progressively get easier.
- Autismus casts detect thoughts on Toopla to see what she is thinking and she is thinking lewd thoughts about Crux.
- Squelch is now up to 20 intelligence, the smartest person there now, makes another arcana check on the lock and fails.
- Squelch demands that Joffrey cast Knock on the door, reaching peak frustration.
- Joffrey maliciously complies and wants to cast Knock and hopefully spring a trap that hits him.
- Unfortunately it only unlocks one level of this lock and there are multiple levels to it; Joffrey is very frustrated by this
- Squelch continues hitting it, getting smarter, but failing to unlock it.
- Bubba has the idea of hitting the door as fast as possible to try and rapidly increase his intelligence and starts rabbit punching it from underneath.
- Even with over 40 intelligence now, Bubba still fails to unlock the lock, hilariously
- Autismus succeeds in unlocking the next level of the lock with a nat 20, it still has more layers
- Joffrey decides to just blow a hole in the ceiling next to the hatch instead and casts thunder wave on the ceiling “I tire of this” and succeeds in cracking it.
- Joffrey commands Squelch to hit the cracked section with his sword; Autismus hits its with magic missile instead and finishes it off.
- Toopla starts screaming, upset that they are breaking her building
- Squelch gets hit by some of the debris and takes 4 dmg
- Two Autognomes are up on the next floor working away with wrenches on some round contraption; when the party goes upstairs, their head rotate around backwards to look at them and they start shouting “INTRUDERS!” In mechanical voices.
- After a very brief fight, the party destroys both of them and they are each disassembled in to 40 different parts
- Toppla comes up to that level of the tower and complains about her damaged Autognomes, then thanks them for at least avoiding damage to her telescope and cartography materials.
- Crux tells her where they are intending to head, to the Griff Armada in “Doom Space, to lead an assault on the Zoraxian Empire, and asks her if she now has access to star charts etc that can aid them
- Toopla says she hasn’t charted that system, it would take quite a bit of time, but she can offer them an Astral Orrery, that works by showing the wielder where they are intending the Astral Sea at all times, aiding navigation.
- Joffrey looks at all the charts around the room and suggests to Bubba and Squelch quietly that they gather all of that up and take her telescope to put on the galleon.
- Crux seems like he would be a problem and prevent them from taking anything so Joffrey asks him to head down to the boat and get it ready for launch while they apologise and clean up after the damage they’ve done to Toopla’s Tower.
- As soon as he leaves, Joffrey quietly suggests casting Suggestion on Toopla to manipulate her into letting them take everything but Squelch is extremely resistant to this and is protesting.
- Joffrey sees that Squelch is a very big obstruction and decides to cast Suggestion on him instead. Squelch is arguing with him and he accuses Joffrey of being up to “some sketchy shit” and doesn’t want to go outside and clean up.
- Joffrey casts Suggestion on him but Squelch is able to resist the spell successfully and says it’s time for them to leave, NOW!
- Joffrey changes tack and convinces Toopla that these gnomes are quite dangerous if handled incorrectly and he’s concerned about leaving her with them, and she agrees to give him the 2 damaged gnomes and an owners manual for them.
- While Joffrey is gathering up all the parts, Autismus pockets one to hamper Joffrey’s plan to reassemble them.

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- Session opens in Toopla’s Tower and Toopla is telling us about an incredible and great captain called “Grimrod Garglinale” who is very handsome and is on a crusade against the Astral Elves.
- Toopla attempts to join the party on their journey, Joffrey is opposed to this but Autismus is compelled to allow her to come due to her great beauty.
- Eventually its agreed that she can come with the party and Joffrey attempts to manipulate her into bringing her 4x valuable Autognomes with her, in the hopes that he can financially gain from this situation.
- The party leaves Toopla’s Tower and arrives to find a debris field at the co-ordinates where Garglinale’s fleet was meant to be, seemingly the aftermath of a great battle.
- Two human Vampirates hiding in the wreckage climb onboard, called Dorgo and Vita.
- A tense standoff ensues and Commodore Crux wants to shoot them as they are Vampirates and have a bad reputation, but Joffrey and the rest of the group diffuse the situation and allow these 2 castaways to join the crew.
- One of the Vampirates is a swabbie and joins the maintenance crew, overseeing the cleaning autognomes; the other Vampirate is a lookout and replaces Vask, the semi-blind spiritual lizard man in the crow’s nest. Vask is tasked with assisting Bubba in his alchemy lab.
- They question the Vampirates about the battle and confirm that Garglinale’s fleet was ambushed by Astral Elves and defeated. Garglinale cast a spell on his ship, turning it invisible and was able to escape.
- The vampirate fleet was anchored in their home system and they aren’t sure how the Astral Elve’s were able to find them.
- Joffrey and Squelch question Toopla to see if she had any elves that came to see her recently and imply that she may have told someone where Garglinale’s fleet was hidden.
- She denies that anything like that happened and says that she has never met an astral elf; she’s distracted mid conversation by amorous thoughts of Garglinale.
- A debate ensues on whether or not they should explore the debris field and salvage some treasure as an electrical storm is brewing. Joffrey is very adamant that they should try and get some treasure and, among other plans, suggests firing someone out of a ballista to reach the derelicts quickly; Bubba finds this novel and exciting and loads himself into a ballista quietly while everyone is arguing.
- While everyone is continuing to argue, Joffrey casually activates the ballista, firing bubba at the debris, and he goes headfirst through the porthole of a derelict Astral Elf Space-Moth ship approx 500m away.
- While he’s searching the debris inside, he finds a pouch of 27 gold pieces, a potion of healing, a potion of climbing and a potion of Heroism.
- Now committed to staying in the area with Bubba overboard, the crew scramble to move the ship to collect him as the storm worsens and Crux is struck by purple space lightning, knocking him unconscious.
- The Spelljammer pilot driving their ship is called Dexa, who is a very wiry and unhealthy human female and they direct her to move the ship closer to where Bubba is.
- They learn that the name of their Gnomish engineer onboard that they have never met is Lilip.
- Bubba leaps back out of the derelict ship, using his Fish Suit to traverse the distance back to the crew’s ship; in the middle of his trip, he is struck by lightning, but in an unlikely turn of events, he catches it in a bottle.
- When the ship is close enough, Bubba uses his fishing rod to reel himself back in.
- When back on deck, he gives Joffrey the gold he found and Joffrey tries to give half back, but Bubba declines and says he doesn’t really care for gold; Joffrey beams and tells him he is like a favourite son to him.
- Joffrey reads his instruction manual for the disassembled Autognomes and realises there is a piece missing.
- Autismus talks to the Vampirates and they tell him that he smells of heroism; he casts detect thoughts on them and they are thinking that they like doing “heroism”.
- Autismus goes to mess hall hoping to have a drink with Toopla, but finds that she’s helping crux eat because he’s very injured after being struck by lightning.
- Using knowledge provided by the Vampirates, they locate and arrive at Captain Garglinale’s galleon “The Last Breath” and find that it is badly damaged after escaping from the battle earlier. True to his reputation, Garglinale is a very handsome Tiefling that is the spitting image of Joffrey, but has a scarred face, milky eye, hook for a hand, his animated severed hand is riding on his shoulder, and he has vampirate fangs.
- Crux staggers up on deck, still injured from the lightning, sees Garglinale and threatens to shoot him, frightened of a vampirate, and Joffrey slaps the pistol from his hand, exasperated.
- Garglinale questions them about why they are in this area, explains that he will need to rebuild his fleet after that loss to the astral elves and suggests that they join him.
- The party and Garglinale retire to the captain’s dining room to talk specifics.
- Garglinale asks about the Rock of Bral and Joffrey tells him it seems to be a hive of Astral Elves these days; he asks where else they could go and Crux tells him he should come with them to Doom Space to join the Griff armada. After a minor discussion, everyone agrees to head to Doom Space.
- Garglinale details that, to join with him, they would have to adhere to the vampirate code: 1. Don’t Eat Each Other, No crew member shall partake of the flesh or blood of another crew member 2. No Hymns, many crew member’s ears are sensitive to holy praise, while aboard the ships, bards and other musicians are allowed to play only secular tunes. 3. Cowards Consequence, those who abandon their post and shirk their duties shall be marooned. 4. No Shipboard Conflicts, all disputes shall be settled on land.
- The articles of the Vampirate code seemed agreeable and everyone was quite satisfied, but then Garglinale elaborated that they must also call him admiral and Joffrey balked at this.
- Garglinale has a charisma battle with Joffrey for Admiralty over the fleet that they hope to rebuild, Joffrey wins by rolling a nat 20.
- There is no love lost between them and Joffrey toasts Garglinale, breaking out his finest rum to honor him, especially as he looks like Joffrey, stoking his narcissism and racial pride for fellow Tieflings.
- After the party return to the deck, Mr Gibbons suddenly approaches Garglinale and appears to be possessed, tells him in a deep and foreign voice that his crew are betraying him and his ship is no longer his.
- The Last Breath takes off without him and the crew begin chasing it in their ship, The Second Wind.
- Joffrey has Gibbons thrown in the brig as a precaution even though he appears to return to normal.
- The party makes use of their various talents to attempt to catch up to the fleeing ship; Bubba uses survival to expertly trim sails and deploy flags to “catch the space wind”, Garglinale makes them invisible with a dark ritual involving an inscription on the deck, Joffrey plays Mariner’s Mambo on his flute, charming the Gravity Fish, reducing their gravity by 20% as the fish go to sleep and Autismus feeds the ship’s treant a heroism potion, juicing it up.
- They successfully catch up with the ship after a few hours of pursuit.
- Garglinale tells them that the enemy crew consistsof eight Vampirates, an ogre zombie, a Vampirate mage, and an annoying ghost. He also warns them that there is Alchemist’s Fire stored on his ship and they shouldn’t shoot at it.
- Squelch misty steps over and starts fighting their spelljammer pilot, a vampirate mage. He crit hits but somehow manage to do minimal damage with bad rolls.
- Autismus and bubba board through a hole in the back of the ship, attack and finish it; Joffrey boards, takes control of spelljammer throne and brings the ship to a halt.
- They have a brief aside with Garglinale and Joffrey asks about the cargo and if they can jettison the Alchemist’s Fire to allow them to fire upon the ship safely. Garglinale is very annoyed and adamant that they mustn’t shoot his ship, and also tells them that the Alchemist’s Fire is spread out throughout his ship so it can’t be easily jettisoned.
- Joffrey comments that not wanting his ship to explode, but rigging it to explode seems to be pretty poor planning.
- Enemy crew are aware of them and are breaking into the room as the party continues planning.
- A pitched battle ensues and the party works to hold the room where the Spelljammer throne is located to prevent the enemy crew from fleeing again.
- Squelch and Joffrey hold the Spelljammer throne room, while Autismus, Bubba and Garglinale climb out of the hole in the back of the ship and attempt to climb up on the deck and flank the enemy from behind; unfortunately they run into the ogre zombie and some Vampirates and are forced to fight them on their own.
- As each vampirate is killed, they explode into necrotic dust that deals necrotic damage, and while Squelch’s armour allows him to avoid most of their weapon damage, he is eventually knocked unconscious by repeated exposure to this dust.
- After shooting a Vampirate, causing it to explode and knock Squelch unconscious, Joffrey revives him and apologises for not noticing he was so injured.
- Autismus encounters the annoying ghost, who appears as a Tiefling and tries to possess him; Autismus ignores it, walking through it and proceeding the flank the remaining Vampirates.
- Eventually the crew and Garglinale successfully defeat the mutineers onboard The Last Breath.
- The annoying ghost of a tiefling re appears and attempts to possess Autismus but he is able to resist; it turns out that it manifests around a cursed golden amulet.
- Joffrey covets the amulet and tries desperately to come up with an alternative to destroying it, suggesting exorcising it, or storing it in the Bag of Holding that would technically keep it on another plane of existence.
- Unfortunately there doesn’t appear to be another solution and Squelch Divine Smites it, exorcising the ghost, causing the golden amulet to crumble to worthless dust.
- Captain Garglinale finally reveals his “secret weapon” that he had in the cargo hold and the reason why he was so adamant that they not damage his ship; the unconscious Astral Elf Princess “Xedali”, daughter of Emperor Xavian of Zoraxian.
- He says that he has been unable to revive her and Joffrey uses his healing magic to bring her back to consciousness.
- They realise that all the other elves they’d met had been referring to an “empress” and that they must be embroiled in a civil war between the two factions.

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Enemy ship has crashed into the basement *

giant female space elves attack, 3 giant ones 8ft tall “for the empress”, one smaller one in the rear
Bubba: death by snu snu
autismus teleports down and targets first elfstarte with magic missile for 17
bubba attacks same one after hunters mark and misses with first attack, hits with second and does 25 dmg and then 18
Joffrey knows that elves are immune to charm coz fae ancestry, puts heat metal on middle elfstarte, does 8 dmg and they crit fail their save against disadvantage
elfstarte moves up, two by dyson and flapjack, one tangled up in fishing rod, attacking bubba
flapjack got missed, Dyson got hit, 8 dmg
smaller elf heals the tangled, injured elfstarte significantly
Autismus using big lightning staff lightning line attack, elfstarte succeeds save, elf mage fails, 28 dmg
bubba circles around and attacks mage/priest, hits, 6dmg + 9dmg
joffrey re-heats metal, does 13 dmg, they fail their save and have disadvantage again, drinks potion, gets back 8 hp
Joffrey yells at Dyson to do something, he uses his small breath attack on the elfstartes in front of him, didn’t do much damage
hamsters squeak and seemingly flee onto the enemy ship
disadvantaged one leaves flapjack and starts attacking autismus, hit for 8, misses second attack. autismus hellish rebuke for 15 dmg
dyson being attacked again, they miss him
bubba gets attacked, hit by elfstarte, 5 dmg + 10 with glowing a revving
elf mage casts a spell, radiant fire rains down on bubba, 12 dmg after dex save
autismus burning hands his attacker and incinerates it
bubba attacks priestess again, does 8dmg + 8dmg
joffrey runs over to defend Dyson, thunderwave for 13 dmg, pushes their attacker back, moves up to body block Dyson, condescendingly says “dad do”
elfstarte rushes back and attacks Joffrey with 2 swords, misses first attack, hits with second 25 dmg, instantly downs him
priest attacks bubba with their morningstar, hits with first, misses second, does 16 dmg. bubba really low (11)
autismus circles and hits elfstarte and priestess with burning hands, 9dmg to both, priestess died, elfstarte looking bad.
bubba attacks his remaining elfstarte and does 6dmg + 9dmg, elfstarte on their last legs
elfstarte on joffrey downs dyson as well
elfstarte hits autismus with 1 of its attacks, 7dmg, he’s on his last legs (5hp)
autismus casts burning hands on the weak elfstarte and just kills it; sorcery point to cast again on his bonus action, standing defensively over joffrey, casts burning hands again for 10 dmg
bubba considers stabilising joffrey but unloads instead after joffrey tells him not to; nat 20, does 14 dmg, attacks again, hits for 7dmg
last attacker misses bubba twice, luckily
autismus casts burning hands again, does 14, but attacker saves for half; uses last sorcery point to cast magic missile, fully tapped, kills it
bubba stabilises joffrey and autismus gets dyson
eerily quiet now
priest has regular morningstar on them, fancy chain armor; elfstartes have non-magical seeming swords, seems the glowing and revving were racial abilities
get 4x long swords off elfstartes
hamsters are off in the enemy ship
short rest + song of rest
go to see what hamsters are doing, waiting in the hole, we follow them in, pretty demolished, collapsed rooms etc, the death ray did huge damage
in the brig there is a goblin in a cage, doesnt look like one of squelch’s tribe
covered in random bits of metal etc, cobbled together mad max armor, pots and pans
“hey you’ve found me, do you have the key ?”
no we don’t, he doesnt know who has the key, says he’s a tinkerer “slow bad”, the hamsters belong to him, his pets
we negotiate for his help, give him my socket set, sets himself free,
we explore everything, he thinks we can salvage a ballista but it will require dry dock to fix
don’t want core parts, they’re illegal astral elf stuff and if we’re caught with them it will be bad
spelljammer is destroyed, joffrey asks if there are parts of value we could get and sell, maybe to pirates
says he knows where we could go, asks why we’re here, tell him about planet being destroyed, talks about knowing these ships had astral seeds on board
should go to “the rock” and see commodore crux
bubba gives him his rod and asks for help improving it, slow bad says he can make it better for astral fishing
joffrey suggests we don’t muck around and get out of here; they dispose of hte corpses, patch the hole in the ship after dislodging the moth ship.
joffrey confronts flapjack after slow bad gives him directions etc, asks what happened and why they crashed, then shushes him and asks bubba

Bubba rambles and implicates flapjack before admitted he knocked the stick
joffrey cuffs them both, after flapjack glared at bubba, bubba hits him as well
joffrey clones dyson’s research and gives his sword to the two engineers to make him a cane sword
bubba brews some potions and doles them out
autismus crafts some knuckledusters for flapjack
after a few days of warp travel arrive at an asteroid field, come around a big asteroid and see big snail shell thing, nautilloid
Joffrey carves a tally mark into the wall by the gem controls to indicate a kill
summon slowbad to the bridge and asks for advice on it, panics initially then says its a derelict, joffrey is animated at the thought of salvage, says they should investigate.
we ask the crew for information on the derelict, flapjack scans for life signs, doesnt really seem like it, faint life signs but that could the living ship itself.
joffrey knows some stories of illithids and knows they are powerful and eat brains, capture victims
ship seems to have been attacked by ballistas etc, some evidence of spell damage on the ship decks, might have been pirates, damage happened a while ago.
fly up to board the ship, lower decks are badly damaged and blocked up, only top decks are accessible.
Joffrey attempts “snake jazz”, succeeds, bubba’s eyes roll up into his head and glow and momentarily it seems that another malevolent entity is looking out of his eyes and he loses control.
bubba has his fish bowl on his head full of water to breathe, they leave and land on the deck
autismus has a cod piece made from the elve’s underwear that he’s breathing through
joffrey goes with them with SlowBad in tow to inspect for salvage
on the deck, not much around, some damage, ballista bolts stabbed into the deck etc,
big sphincter like doors, bubba starts punching it and it pops open, relaxes. besides them are some balls that seem they are meant to be used to open it
stairs leading up to higher platform inside, ornate chair, not like a spelljammer just a cool chair, captains area.
2 ballistas might be able to be salvaged, should look for the spelljammer throne, that’s probably most valuable thing
joffrey wants to take the ornate chair to use as his captains seat on the bridge.
next to the chair on hte floor is a humanoid being, seems to be illithid, its headless
has a fancy breastplate with tentacle motifs etc, joffrey collects it +1 breastplate
spelljammer appears to have been removed, probably githyanki have attacked this ship, its what they do

there is a second corpse in the room, autismus checks it, it has a scroll, Wall of Force
bubba goes through pair of doors, finds some animal like things in cages, doesnt find anything much of value. he unlocks the door to the cages and rifles through the corpses. He finds some 26 gold, 126 silver and a red ruby ring
bubba needs to make an int save, succeeds, little brain with arms appears behind him and attacks, misses

he kills it
in a fight, autismus twists and pull to go through
2x corpses got up and attacked him, autismus flames them to death and now their heads have exploded and hostile brain creatures have come out, are attacking
joffrey having space coffee in the command throne, oblivious to what’s going on
brain psychic attacks bubba for 10 dmg, reduces his int to 0 on a failed save, he falls to the ground unconscious
another brain psychic attacks autismus for 15 dmg, fails to beat his intelligence score and he isn’t turned into a vegetable
joffrey hears then screaming for help, gets through the door, uses mage hand to operate the balls, met with the scene of bubba on the ground unconscious and autismus badly injured.
joffrey inspires himself, “my god” looks at a picture of himself in his locket casts thunderwave lv 2, 12 dmg to one, 6 to the other, they’re both still up
autismus magic missiles and kills one, injures the other
bubba int contest with int devourer, he fails, he gets back up, the int devourer has disappeared…

its inside his head and has eaten his brain
his body gets up and attacks autismus, he misses him
autismus attacks him with magic missile
Joffrey does an insight check (successful) knows he’s being controlled, plays snake jazz, succeeds, the int devourer is kicked out, his eyes start glowing and he seems stunned, mesmerised by the jazz
int devourer tries to attack bubba again, fails to inhabit him because of snake jazz defense and it has an aneurysm and dies.

Joffrey continues playing snake jazz seeing him stunned, uses mage hand to sleight of hand the 26 gold from earlier off him

loses 1 coin, autismus finds it on hte ground by his feet , coin has tentacle motif on it, lucky gold illithid coin
joffrey drops snake jazz and rushes to him, seems concerned for him says he was unconscious etc
autismus doesnt see joffrey take the money, finds coin and gives back to bubba, bubba refuses and says autismus saved his life
as they’re checking themselves etc, slowbad comes in and asks if its time to leave, he has removed the 2x ballistas and a psionic control gem
Autismus and joffrey collect some intellect devourer brain matter
joffrey has him remove the fancy illithid chair and coffee machine and they leave
6 hours out from the rock
Arrive at The Rock of Bral, giant asteroid city with many disticts and a port