diff --git a/.DS_Store b/.DS_Store new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0763c56 Binary files /dev/null and b/.DS_Store differ diff --git a/.gitignore b/.gitignore index 885e4fd..c6ab290 100644 --- a/.gitignore +++ b/.gitignore @@ -1,3 +1,3 @@ -.obsidian/workspace.json -.obsidian/workspace-mobile.json -.obsidian/cache/ +Seighell/.obsidian/workspace.json +Seighell/.obsidian/workspace-mobile.json +Seighell/.obsidian/cache/ diff --git a/.obsidian/app.json b/.obsidian/app.json new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9e26dfe --- /dev/null +++ b/.obsidian/app.json @@ -0,0 +1 @@ +{} \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/.obsidian/appearance.json b/.obsidian/appearance.json new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9e26dfe --- /dev/null +++ b/.obsidian/appearance.json @@ -0,0 +1 @@ +{} \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/.obsidian/core-plugins.json b/.obsidian/core-plugins.json new file mode 100644 index 0000000..639b90d --- /dev/null +++ b/.obsidian/core-plugins.json @@ -0,0 +1,33 @@ +{ + "file-explorer": true, + "global-search": true, + "switcher": true, + "graph": true, + "backlink": true, + "canvas": true, + "outgoing-link": true, + "tag-pane": true, + "footnotes": false, + "properties": true, + "page-preview": true, + "daily-notes": true, + "templates": true, + "note-composer": true, + "command-palette": true, + "slash-command": false, + "editor-status": true, + "bookmarks": true, + "markdown-importer": false, + "zk-prefixer": false, + "random-note": false, + "outline": true, + "word-count": true, + "slides": false, + "audio-recorder": false, + "workspaces": false, + "file-recovery": true, + "publish": false, + "sync": true, + "bases": true, + "webviewer": false +} \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/.obsidian/workspace.json b/.obsidian/workspace.json similarity index 57% rename from Seighell/.obsidian/workspace.json rename to .obsidian/workspace.json index fe736c9..64ff208 100644 --- a/Seighell/.obsidian/workspace.json +++ b/.obsidian/workspace.json @@ -1,24 +1,20 @@ { "main": { - "id": "e9413548c663f76b", + "id": "8492c802594bb3da", "type": "split", "children": [ { - "id": "2d160a6716be1a25", + "id": "0f56e6b249a0ee90", "type": "tabs", "children": [ { - "id": "9efdce932e9fb327", + "id": "0623e0cd45c92d15", "type": "leaf", "state": { - "type": "markdown", - "state": { - "file": "Locations/The Ivory Tower.md", - "mode": "source", - "source": false - }, + "type": "empty", + "state": {}, "icon": "lucide-file", - "title": "The Ivory Tower" + "title": "New tab" } } ] @@ -27,28 +23,28 @@ "direction": "vertical" }, "left": { - "id": "1900cc049fd5845c", + "id": "a8db87f6ab94e576", "type": "split", "children": [ { - "id": "3680216e8bb5634d", + "id": "fde4258ed369522b", "type": "tabs", "children": [ { - "id": "72479ac34fa82573", + "id": "e8e7e818fc948ad3", "type": "leaf", "state": { "type": "file-explorer", "state": { "sortOrder": "alphabetical", - "autoReveal": true + "autoReveal": false }, "icon": "lucide-folder-closed", "title": "Files" } }, { - "id": "ac7873048dfca492", + "id": "c22e182f7061b9a6", "type": "leaf", "state": { "type": "search", @@ -65,7 +61,7 @@ } }, { - "id": "5762557e6b0d3dcf", + "id": "96b3654a01e1df9f", "type": "leaf", "state": { "type": "bookmarks", @@ -81,20 +77,19 @@ "width": 300 }, "right": { - "id": "c399eed1284a30e7", + "id": "1f139fd7a13d0417", "type": "split", "children": [ { - "id": "b315f4280397c8b8", + "id": "c6ab8046f60dac10", "type": "tabs", "children": [ { - "id": "08e1c2e3cda9421b", + "id": "fa847224ebe6ae26", "type": "leaf", "state": { "type": "backlink", "state": { - "file": "NPC's/Hoover Schlorp.md", "collapseAll": false, "extraContext": false, "sortOrder": "alphabetical", @@ -104,25 +99,24 @@ "unlinkedCollapsed": true }, "icon": "links-coming-in", - "title": "Backlinks for Hoover Schlorp" + "title": "Backlinks" } }, { - "id": "1c4e44898fba76a8", + "id": "8fbbe080fee4f41b", "type": "leaf", "state": { "type": "outgoing-link", "state": { - "file": "Welcome.md", "linksCollapsed": false, "unlinkedCollapsed": true }, "icon": "links-going-out", - "title": "Outgoing links from Welcome" + "title": "Outgoing links" } }, { - "id": "1731a6fcc25a76c7", + "id": "f01bd961825f5f11", "type": "leaf", "state": { "type": "tag", @@ -137,7 +131,7 @@ } }, { - "id": "31614ddba527bb86", + "id": "25ada21d072042e8", "type": "leaf", "state": { "type": "all-properties", @@ -151,32 +145,20 @@ } }, { - "id": "2ae07ba6563ee8e1", + "id": "e2e10171868f9f84", "type": "leaf", "state": { "type": "outline", "state": { - "file": "NPC's/Hoover Schlorp.md", "followCursor": false, "showSearch": false, "searchQuery": "" }, "icon": "lucide-list", - "title": "Outline of Hoover Schlorp" - } - }, - { - "id": "b7398fbce7691f58", - "type": "leaf", - "state": { - "type": "git-view", - "state": {}, - "icon": "git-pull-request", - "title": "Source Control" + "title": "Outline" } } - ], - "currentTab": 5 + ] } ], "direction": "horizontal", @@ -190,55 +172,9 @@ "daily-notes:Open today's daily note": false, "templates:Insert template": false, "command-palette:Open command palette": false, - "bases:Create new base": false, - "obsidian-git:Open Git source control": false + "bases:Create new base": false } }, - "active": "9efdce932e9fb327", - "lastOpenFiles": [ - "NPC's/Hoover Schlorp.md", - "NPC's/Captain Garglinale.md", - "NPC's/Giant Space Hampsters.md", - "Misc Items/Obelisk of O’brien.md", - "Misc Items/The Wak Splat.md", - "Locations/Tiefstein Tower.md", - "Testing Note.md", - "Locations/The Rock of Bral.md", - "Locations/The Ivory Tower.md", - "Locations/Qumdrop Swamp.md", - "Locations/Brown Mesa Research Facility.md", - "Joffrey's Diary/Session 1.md", - "Locations/SiegHell.md", - "z_templates", - "PlayerCharacters/Joffrey Tiefstein.md", - "PlayerCharacters/Bubba.md", - "PlayerCharacters/Autismus Von Autingler.md", - "TOC.md", - "z_images/GiantHampsters.png", - "Misc Items/Untitled.base", - "2026-03-24.md", - "Untitled.canvas", - "z_images/Obelisk.png", - "z_images/CptnGarglinale.png~", - "z_images/Autismus_1.png", - "z_images/brownmesa.png", - "Misc Items/Untitled.md", - "z_images/sieghell.png", - "Ships/Tiefstein Tower.md", - "Locations/Tiefstein Tower 1.md", - "Ships", - "z_images/bubba.webp", - "Autismus.md", - "z_images/CptnGarglinale.png", - "z_images/rockbral_map.png", - "z_images/TiefsteinTower.png", - "z_images/waksplat.png", - "Misc Items", - "z_images/Untitled.base", - "Locations", - "Joffrey's Diary", - "NPC's", - "z_images", - "Welcome.md" - ] + "active": "0623e0cd45c92d15", + "lastOpenFiles": [] } \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/.obsidian/graph.json b/Seighell/.obsidian/graph.json index 695bfa5..d63f09d 100644 --- a/Seighell/.obsidian/graph.json +++ b/Seighell/.obsidian/graph.json @@ -5,18 +5,18 @@ "showAttachments": false, "hideUnresolved": false, "showOrphans": true, - "collapse-color-groups": true, + "collapse-color-groups": false, "colorGroups": [], - "collapse-display": true, - "showArrow": false, + "collapse-display": false, + "showArrow": true, "textFadeMultiplier": 0, - "nodeSizeMultiplier": 1, - "lineSizeMultiplier": 1, - "collapse-forces": true, - "centerStrength": 0.518713248970312, - "repelStrength": 10, - "linkStrength": 1, - "linkDistance": 250, - "scale": 1.8371173070873825, - "close": true + "nodeSizeMultiplier": 1.9375, + "lineSizeMultiplier": 1.35052083333333, + "collapse-forces": false, + "centerStrength": 0, + "repelStrength": 20, + "linkStrength": 0.197916666666667, + "linkDistance": 35, + "scale": 0.02707123762543104, + "close": false } \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/.obsidian/plugins/obsidian-git/data.json b/Seighell/.obsidian/plugins/obsidian-git/data.json index b6cd1d3..f2c5c86 100644 --- a/Seighell/.obsidian/plugins/obsidian-git/data.json +++ b/Seighell/.obsidian/plugins/obsidian-git/data.json @@ -17,7 +17,7 @@ "showStatusBar": true, "updateSubmodules": false, "syncMethod": "merge", - "mergeStrategy": "none", + "mergeStrategy": "theirs", "customMessageOnAutoBackup": false, "autoBackupAfterFileChange": true, "treeStructure": false, diff --git a/Seighell/.obsidian/plugins/obsidian-style-settings/data.json b/Seighell/.obsidian/plugins/obsidian-style-settings/data.json index c7116f8..255c07c 100644 --- a/Seighell/.obsidian/plugins/obsidian-style-settings/data.json +++ b/Seighell/.obsidian/plugins/obsidian-style-settings/data.json @@ -1,7 +1,4 @@ { - "ITS@@mini": false, - "ITS@@its-d": false, - "ITS@@accent-color": false, - "ITS@@notion": false, - "ITS@@canvas-cards": true + "ITS@@file-line-width": 1200, + "ITS@@drwn": true } \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/.obsidian/plugins/various-complements/histories.json b/Seighell/.obsidian/plugins/various-complements/histories.json index b101f80..4bfdea7 100644 --- a/Seighell/.obsidian/plugins/various-complements/histories.json +++ b/Seighell/.obsidian/plugins/various-complements/histories.json @@ -1 +1 @@ -{"Tiefstein Tower":{"Tiefstein Tower":{"internalLink":{"count":1,"lastUpdated":1774481470913}}}} \ No newline at end of file +{"Tiefstein Tower":{"Tiefstein Tower":{"internalLink":{"count":3,"lastUpdated":1774593478427}}},"Joffrey Tiefstein":{"Joffrey Tiefstein":{"internalLink":{"count":6,"lastUpdated":1774842735628}}},"SiegHell":{"SiegHell":{"internalLink":{"count":1,"lastUpdated":1774517532234}}},"Dragon Queen":{"Dragon Queen":{"internalLink":{"count":5,"lastUpdated":1774828618995}}},"Hoover Schlorp":{"Hoover Schlorp":{"internalLink":{"count":2,"lastUpdated":1774827626823}}},"Brown Mesa Research Facility":{"Brown Mesa Research Facility":{"internalLink":{"count":1,"lastUpdated":1774520326439}}},"Solkanaar":{"Solkanaar":{"internalLink":{"count":7,"lastUpdated":1774828661133}}},"Dyson":{"Dyson":{"internalLink":{"count":4,"lastUpdated":1774829015657}}},"Captain Grimrod Garglinale":{"Captain Grimrod Garglinale":{"internalLink":{"count":1,"lastUpdated":1774520890201}}},"The Ivory Tower":{"The Ivory 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Endless":{"internalLink":{"count":1,"lastUpdated":1774828194215}}},"Zarveth":{"Zarveth":{"internalLink":{"count":1,"lastUpdated":1774828731373}}},"Tiamat":{"Tiamat":{"currentFile":{"count":1,"lastUpdated":1774828760655}}},"Princess Xedali":{"Princess Xedali":{"internalLink":{"count":1,"lastUpdated":1774829078223}}}} \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/Factions/Astral Elves.md b/Seighell/Characters/Factions/Astral Elves.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a85ff06 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/Factions/Astral Elves.md @@ -0,0 +1,7 @@ +The Astral Elves of Xaryxian Emprire, who inhabit the [[Imperial Citadel]], a gigantic, heavily armed, mobile city in space. + +Notable members: +- Ambassador [[Katar Von Erg]] +- [[Xedali]] +- Emperor Xavian +- Princess Xelith \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/Factions/Astral Fishers Guild.md b/Seighell/Characters/Factions/Astral Fishers Guild.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fb0917a --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/Factions/Astral Fishers Guild.md @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +Guild of fishermen that seek trophy catches across the many locales of the Astral Sea. + +Notable members: +- [[Jahn]] - Experienced fisherman and [[Bubba]]'s contact in the guild \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/Factions/Chromatic Dragons.md b/Seighell/Characters/Factions/Chromatic Dragons.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..376f076 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/Factions/Chromatic Dragons.md @@ -0,0 +1,7 @@ +The Chromatic Dragons of Tiamat are a malevolent faction locked in conflict with [[The Ivory Tower]]. + +Notable Members: +- The [[Dragon Queen]] - Leader of the faction on the prime material plane +- [[Solkanaar]] - Dragon Queen's juvenile black dragon son +- [[Dyson]] - Dragon Queen's half-dragon, half-halfling son +- [[Zarveth]] - Black Abishai emissary of Tiamat \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/Factions/Griff.md b/Seighell/Characters/Factions/Griff.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5f08663 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/Factions/Griff.md @@ -0,0 +1,5 @@ +The Griff are a race of militaristic, humanoid hippos known for the proficiency with the manufacture and use of firearms. + +Notable members: +- [[Crux]] - Previously a commodore before falling to disgrace +- [[Warwick Blastemoff]] - Sergeant in Griff Navy \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/Factions/Scrapjacks.md b/Seighell/Characters/Factions/Scrapjacks.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ca54096 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/Factions/Scrapjacks.md @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +The Scrapjacks are a band of goblins based on [[The Rock of Bral]], lead by the goblin mechanic, [[Slowbad]]. + +Notable members: +- [[Slowbad]] - Goblin mechanic and leader of their band \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/Factions/The Ivory Tower.md b/Seighell/Characters/Factions/The Ivory Tower.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1fa9b91 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/Factions/The Ivory Tower.md @@ -0,0 +1,12 @@ +Disambiguation, were you looking for: +- The Ivory Tower (Faction) +- The Ivory Tower (Spelljammer) + +#### The Ivory Tower (Faction) +The Ivory Tower are a faction of devils under the command of the pitfiend [[Trae'Vhor]]; they have a pronounced interest in life energy collection and storage (known as [[Big Succ]]). They are diametrically opposed to the [[Dragon Queen]] and her faction; their goals are beyond mortal comprehension. + +Notable members: +[[Trae'Vhor]] - Pit Fiend leader of the Ivory Tower + +#### Ivory Tower (Spelljammer) +The Ivory Tower is a unique, colossal skyscraper spelljammer that serves as the primary holding and base of operations for the Ivory Tower faction. It has a unique system for collecting life energy from a wide area, storing it in it's structure, causing it to grow and expand (see [[Big Succ]]). \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/Factions/The Watt Tribe.md b/Seighell/Characters/Factions/The Watt Tribe.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2b19871 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/Factions/The Watt Tribe.md @@ -0,0 +1,8 @@ +The Watt Tribe are a group of goblins originally from the mountain [[Steep Run]], they previously lived under the rule of bugbears, but came to worship the [[Dragon Queen]] when she defeated them. + +Notable members of the Watt Tribe: +- [[Squelch]] - Champion and current clan leader. +- Squelch's Mum - Has had 3000 children to different suitors +- [[Squawk]] - Second in command to Squelch. +- [[Creampie]] - Goblin Ranger and pilot (of the currently MIA [[Lobster Ship]]), companion of Squelch. +- [[Squeeve]] - Goblin Sorcerer, companion of Squelch. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/57EV1E.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/57EV1E.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e563bf9 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/57EV1E.md @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Pentadrone +aliases: + - Stevie +--- + +| ![[636376316530280715.jpeg]] | ***"57EV1E (Stevie) is a Pentadrone of the Plane of Law that was found imprisoned in the bowels of [[The Ivory Tower]], guarded by a metallic chimera, for unknown reasons."

***"The party attempted to free him and return him to his plane, but he was recaptured almost immediately by [[Trae'Vhor]] and returned to his imprisonment." | +| ---------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Bad Boy Bubby.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Bad Boy Bubby.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ba45c11 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Bad Boy Bubby.md @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Blackling +--- + +| ![[Bad Boy Bubby.png]] | ***"Bad Boy Bubby is a blackling gardener in the High City of [[The Rock of Bral]]. Pictured interacting with [[Joffrey Tiefstein]] in the guise of his alter ego, Duke Ary Magini."*** | +| ---------------------- | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| | | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Creampie.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Creampie.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..88a9bb3 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Creampie.md @@ -0,0 +1,10 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Goblin + - Ranger +--- + +| ![[Creampie.png]] | ***"Creampie is a goblin ranger of [[The Watt Tribe]] and regular companion of [[Squelch]]; they have a lizard animal companion."***

***"Creampie is the regular pilot of the [[Lobster Ship]] when going on missions with Squelch and co. They are currently MIA after failing to attach the lobster ship to the [[Second Wind]] when it left [[The Rock of Bral]]."*** | +| ----------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| | | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Crux.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Crux.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e4db484 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Crux.md @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Griff +--- + +| ![[Commodore Crux.png]] | ***"Commodore Crux is a disgraced Griff naval officer who owns and operates the Spelljammer [[Second Wind]]. He is known to be good friends with the human, [[Toopla]]. The party first encountered him in the tavern known as 'The Happy Beholder' on [[The Rock of Bral]]. He is a known alcoholic and is generally unreliable."*** | +| ----------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| | | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Dave.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Dave.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a7e19db --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Dave.md @@ -0,0 +1,10 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Celestial + - Solar +--- + +| ![[Dave.png]] | ***"Dave is a 'Solar', a powerful celestial being that is tasked with eternally guarding the corpse of the god known as '[[The Endless]]', in the Astral Sea. He has stood vigil for thousands of years so far and doesn't know why, only that he was manifested by the universe."***

***"He's tasked the party with looking out for any signs of the Endless manifesting in reality, or it's worshippers."*** | +| ------------------------ | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| ![[Autismus Prayer.png]] | ***" [[Autismus Von Autingler]] likes to attempt to stay in touch with Dave and treats him as a pen pal."*** | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Dragon Queen.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Dragon Queen.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..46bd103 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Dragon Queen.md @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Dragon +aliases: +--- + +| ![[Dragon Queen.png]] | ***"The Dragon Queen is an adult black dragon aligned with Tiamat, who rules over both [[The Watt Tribe]] of goblins, as well as a clan of Sahuagin under [[Scareth]]. She has a juvenile offspring known as [[Solkanaar]], and a half dragon son, [[Dyson]], who was fathered by [[Hoover Schlorp]]."*** | +| --------------------- | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Dyson.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Dyson.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..33f2f69 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Dyson.md @@ -0,0 +1,10 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Dragon + - Halfling +--- + +| ![[Dyson.png]] | ***"Dyson is a miniature dragonborn (half dragon and half halfling), son of [[Hoover Schlorp]] and the [[Dragon Queen]], half brother of [[Solkanaar]]. He is a brilliant engineer and scientist, most recently employed at [[Brown Mesa Research Facility]]"*** | +| -------------------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| ![[Dyson and Owlbear.png]] | ***"The party first encountered Dyson when they saved him from an Owlbear while on an errand from [[Solkanaar]] to find him."*** | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Flapjack.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Flapjack.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0530937 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Flapjack.md @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Flumph +--- + +| ![[Flapjack.png]] | ***"Flapjack is a Flumph test-pilot previously employed by [[Brown Mesa Research Facility]] and close personal friend of [[Dyson]]. He currently serves as the makeshift pilot of [[Tiefstein Tower]]."*** | +| ------------------------ | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| ![[Joffrey Disgust.png]] | ***"He's typically regarded as a disgusting goo-monster by [[Joffrey Tiefstein]], that feeds on emotions and violates peoples minds "*** | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Giant Space Hampsters.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Giant Space Hampsters.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fce1793 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Giant Space Hampsters.md @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Hampster +--- + +| ![[GiantHampsters.png]] | ***"The current engineers aboard [[Tiefstein Tower]] on long term loan from their master, Slowbad, the goblin mechanic.***

***Originally crashed in their ship [[Obelisk of O’brien]], They have since salvaged it for tech to retrofit [[Tiefstein Tower]] into a crude spelljammer."*** | | +| ----------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | --- | + + + diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Grimrod Garglinale.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Grimrod Garglinale.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..37b3321 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Grimrod Garglinale.md @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Vampirate + - Tiefling +aliases: + - Garglinale + - Grimrod +--- + +| ![[CptnGarglinale.png]] | ***"Captain Grimrod Garglinale is the Tiefling Vampirate master of the Spelljammer Galleon '[[The Last Breath]]'. He is renowned for being excessively handsome, charming, and the doppelganger of [[Joffrey Tiefstein]]"*** | +| ----------------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| | | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Hoover Schlorp.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Hoover Schlorp.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..813f56b --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Hoover Schlorp.md @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Halfling + - Necromancer +aliases: + - Hoover +--- + +| ![[Hoover Schlorp.png]] | ***"Hoover Schlorp is a Halfling necromancer of some repute, who was contracted by [[The Ivory Tower]] to develop '[[Big Succ]]' technology. He fathered [[Dyson]] with the [[Dragon Queen]] after using a wish spell to enhance his anatomy. The party first encountered him in the basement of [[Tiefstein Tower]] when he was harvesting life energy from the populace of [[The Watt Tribe]] at [[Steep Run]]."*** | +| ----------------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Jahn.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Jahn.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3258234 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Jahn.md @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Dwarf +--- + +| ![[Jahn.png]] | ***"Jahn is a dwarven fisherman who is a member of the [[Astral Fishers Guild]] on [[The Rock of Bral]]. He is [[Bubba]]'s contact and sponsor for potential guild membership."*** | +| ------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| | | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Katar Von Erg.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Katar Von Erg.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bf57c5a --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Katar Von Erg.md @@ -0,0 +1,12 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Astral_Elf +aliases: + - Katar + - Von Erg +--- + +| ![[Katar Von Erg.png]] | ***"Ambassador Katar Von Erg is a high ranking diplomat who represents the [[Astral Elves]], based on [[The Rock of Bral]]."*** | +| ---------------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| ![[The Fracas.png]] | ***"He was infamously involved in a fracas with [[Crux]], and used his political power to impound his ship and suspend his spelljamming license."*** | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Kilgore the Destroyer.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Kilgore the Destroyer.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e3d6f1a --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Kilgore the Destroyer.md @@ -0,0 +1,12 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Human + - Barbarian +aliases: + - Kilgore +--- + +| ![[Kilgore the Destroyer.png]] | ***"Kilgore the Destroyer is a veteran mercenary barbarian from [[The Rock of Bral]], that has been hired previously by [[Joffrey Tiefstein]] as muscle. He was pivotal in Joffrey's team winning first place in the talent contest held at [[The Happy Beholder]]." | +| ------------------------------ | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| | | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Roblin.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Roblin.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5aeb093 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Roblin.md @@ -0,0 +1,10 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Goblin + - Undead +--- + +| ![[Roblin.png]] | ***"Roblin was a goblin member of [[The Watt Tribe]] who died on an expedition to [[Brown Mesa Research Facility]]. He was subsequently raised as an undead servant of [[Dyson]], used to carry cursed items that he used in his experiments. He was dissolved inside of a gelatinous cube that the party fought inside of the facility."*** | +| --------------- | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| | | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Scareth.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Scareth.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..be8b400 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Scareth.md @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Sahuagin +--- + +| ![[Scareth.png]] | ***"High Tide-Caller Scareth is the high priestess and leader of the Sahuagin, currently in service to the [[Dragon Queen]]."*** | +| ---------------- | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| | | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Sheepgoblinborn.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Sheepgoblinborn.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..79b702c --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Sheepgoblinborn.md @@ -0,0 +1,15 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Sheep + - Goblin + - Dragonborn +--- +![[Sheepgoblinborn.png|1162]] +The Sheepgoblinborn (aka: The Deceiver) was an entity that was slain by [[Joffrey Tiefstein]] in the [[Race Changer Lab]], after a misunderstanding resulting from [[Bubba]] being turned into a halfling. This being was once a goblin of [[The Watt Tribe]], that had stumbled into the race changing machine in a secret lab, in a dungeon deep underground. + +Fiddling with the machine, the goblin accidentally turned itself into a sheep, then headed into the town of [[SiegHell]] seeking help with a scroll of "Speak with Animals" in its mouth. After encountering [[Autismus Von Autingler]], it succeeded in communicating with him and roping the party into following it back to the machine. After some trial and error tinkering, the party turned him into a dragonborn, draining some energy from the machine, and he was most appreciative, encouraging them to experiment with the contraption. + +Bubba entered the machine, turning himself into a halfling, and strangely, the device recouped from energy from his transformation; Joffrey gasped and felt that this meant the machine was a "Tiefling oven", powered by the souls of his people. In his rage he forced the dragonborn back into the machine, transformed it into a sheep, then a slime, then back to a sheep to weaken it before destroying it, and the machine, with a Thunderwave spell. + +The party harvested the creature, with its skin being turned into a sheepskin cape by [[Autismus Von Autingler]], and its bones being taken by [[Joffrey Tiefstein]]. These were used to make some knucklebone dice that adorned his bar, becoming the namesake of his first business, Sheep-Bone Brewery. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Slowbad.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Slowbad.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fd59e8f --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Slowbad.md @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Goblin +--- + +| ![[Slowbad.png]] | ***"Slowbad is a goblin mechanic and member of a group known as the '[[Scrapjacks]]'. He was first encountered by the party imprisoned aboard an Astral Elf ship that they defeated and boarded in orbit of their homeworld. "*** | +| ---------------- | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| | | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Solkanaar.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Solkanaar.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2fd1fe6 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Solkanaar.md @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Dragon +aliases: + - Sulky +--- + +| ![[Solkanaar.png]] | ***"Solkanaar is a juvenile black dragon, son of the [[Dragon Queen]]; he is widely disliked and commonly made fun of for the dubious heritage of his half brother, [[Dyson]]."*** | +| ------------------ | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| | | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Squawk.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Squawk.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..805ff2c --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Squawk.md @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Goblin +--- + +| ![[Squawk.png]] | ***"Squawk is a goblin of [[The Watt Tribe]] and second in command of their forces to [[Squelch]]."*** | +| --------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | +| | | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Squeeve.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Squeeve.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a1367fe --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Squeeve.md @@ -0,0 +1,10 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Goblin + - Sorcerer +--- + +| ![[Squeeve.png]] | ***"Squeeve is a goblin sorcerer of [[The Watt Tribe]] and one of [[Squelch]]'s regular companions."*** | +| ---------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| | | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/The Endless.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/The Endless.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..78cbb70 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/The Endless.md @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Deity +--- + +| ![[The Endless.png]] | ***"The Endless was a god that perished in unknown circumstances some time thousands of years ago; it's corpse, appearing as an infinite bismuth obelisk in the Astral Sea, is eternally watched over by [[Dave]]."***

***"For unknown reasons, Dave believes The Endless can never be allowed to return, for it could, as gods can never truly die."*** | +| -------------------- | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| | | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Toopla.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Toopla.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f298685 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Toopla.md @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Human +--- + +| ![[Toopla.png]] | ***"Toopla is a human female astronomer and cartographer; she is known for being very attractive, but naive and dim. She is a good friend of [[Crux]]. The party first encountered her on an asteroid, where her home and observatory, [[Toopla's Tower]], was built."***

***"She is currently onboard the [[Second Wind]], travelling with the party."*** | +| --------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| | | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Trae'Vhor.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Trae'Vhor.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4bc03fb --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Trae'Vhor.md @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Devil +--- + +| ![[Trae'Vhor.png]] | ***"Trae'Vhor is a pit fiend devil who leads [[The Ivory Tower]]."*** | +| ------------------ | --------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| | | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Warwick Blastemoff.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Warwick Blastemoff.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ba19f38 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Warwick Blastemoff.md @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Griff +--- + +| ![[Sgt Warwick Blastemoff.png]] | ***"Sergeant Warwick Blastemoff is a Griff naval officer, and associate of Commodore [[Crux]]; he was first encountered by the party on the moon of Arun, in Doomspace. "*** | +| ------------------------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| | | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Xedali.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Xedali.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4094fae --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Xedali.md @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Astral_Elf +aliases: + - Xedali +--- + +| ![[Princess Xedali Portrait.png]] | ***"Princess Xedali is the astral elven daughter of Emperor Xavian of Zoraxian. Her family is one of the ruling houses involved in the [[Astral Elves]] civil war." *** | +| --------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| ![[Princess Xedali.png]] | ***"Xedali is currently aboard [[Second Wind]], in the custody of the party and [[Grimrod Garglinale]]."*** | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Zarveth.md b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Zarveth.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b45b182 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Zarveth.md @@ -0,0 +1,10 @@ +--- +tags: + - NPC + - Black_Abishai +--- + +| ![[Zarveth.png]] | ***"Zarveth is a Black Abishai in service to the [[Dragon Queen]] and is an emissary of Tiamat. He often hides in the shadows of the Queen's chambers on guard."*** | +| ---------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| ![[Zarveth deal.png]] | ***"Zarveth is a collector of faces and has been known to use them as a form of currency, to the horror and misfortune of mortals that encounter him."*** | +| ![[Zarveth and Squeeve.png]] | ***"Zarveth accompanied [[Squelch]] on a mission to acquire a [[Lobster Ship]] from the Sahuagin at the bottom of the ocean, and if possible, their fealty. Pictured is Zarveth mistreating Squeeve, one of Squelch's companions."*** | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/PCs/Autismus Von Autingler.md b/Seighell/Characters/PCs/Autismus Von Autingler.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6fdf049 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/PCs/Autismus Von Autingler.md @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +aliases: + - Autismus + - Von Autingler +tags: + - PC + - Tiefling + - Sorcerer +--- + +| ![[Autismus and Imp.png]] | ***"Autismus Von Autingler is a Tiefling sorcerer from the village of [[SiegHell]]; he's normally seen with his imp familiar, Schnitzel Von Krump."*** | +| ------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | +| ![[Autismus Sniff.png]] | ***"Although he may come across as somewhat coarse, he has a variety of hidden talents."*** | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/PCs/Bubba.md b/Seighell/Characters/PCs/Bubba.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a0340ae --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/PCs/Bubba.md @@ -0,0 +1,13 @@ +--- +tags: + - PC + - Halfling + - Ranger +--- + +| ![[bubba.webp]] | ***"Bubba is a Halfling ranger and fishing enthusiast from the village of [[SiegHell]]; he was previously a Tiefling, before betraying his race and transitioning. He is currently infested by a mechanical snake, implanted in him by [[Trae'Vhor]], and is susceptible to [[Snake Jazz]]."*** | +| --------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| ![[Pre Op Bubba.png]] | ***"A pre-op depiction of the entity known only as 'Bubba'."*** | +| ![[Bubba Spit.png]] | ***"Bubba is known for his unconventional strategies and 'out of the box' thinking. Pictured is him spitting an alchemical concoction into the engines of [[Tiefstein Tower]] to boost its power levels. "*** | +| ![[Bubba and Cinnamon.png]] | ***"He acquired a disabled dog called 'Cinnamon' from the market district on [[The Rock of Bral]]"*** | + diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/PCs/Joffrey Tiefstein.md b/Seighell/Characters/PCs/Joffrey Tiefstein.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4bc61b5 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/PCs/Joffrey Tiefstein.md @@ -0,0 +1,14 @@ +--- +aliases: + - Joffrey + - Tiefstein +tags: + - PC + - Tiefling + - Bard +--- + +| ![[Joffrey Tiefstein.png]] | ***"Admiral Joffrey Tiefstein is a Tiefling Bard, privately educated at the College of Eloquence; He is a renowned entertainer, entrepreneur, philanthropist, philosopher and author."***

***"He is the current proprietor of [[Tiefstein Tower]], a successful, mobile, fine-dining establishment. He notably possesses the [[Ioun Stone of Eternity]] and is functionally immortal."***

***"His first successful business venture was [[Sheep-Bone Brewery]], a popular local drinking establishment, located in the town of [[SiegHell]]."***

***"Among his musical feats, Joffrey is credited as the original composer of [[Snake Jazz]]."***

***"Joffrey sometimes masquerades as his alter ego, Duke Ary Magini, a wealthy noble and socialite from a place you've never heard of."*** | | +| ----------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | --- | +| ![[Taftstan the Endless.png]] | ***"Some primitive cultures have been known to worship him as a deity, known as Taftstan the Endless"*** | | +| ![[Joffrey's Locket.png]] | ***"He's regularly seen gazing into his locket, at an image of Joffrey Tiefstein, that he finds inspiring."*** | | diff --git a/Seighell/Characters/PCs/Squelch.md b/Seighell/Characters/PCs/Squelch.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..cc89d0e --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Characters/PCs/Squelch.md @@ -0,0 +1,10 @@ +--- +tags: + - PC + - Goblin + - Paladin +--- + +| ![[Squelch 1.png]] | ***"Squelch 'Wielder of the [[The Wak Splat]]' is a goblin paladin of [[The Watt Tribe]], a group of goblins coaxed into worshipping the [[Dragon Queen]]. He is a burgeoning resistance leader and aspires to free his people and find them a new home."***

***"Squelch became clan leader after he slew the previous occupier of this position for making comments about his mother and her 3000 children to different fathers."*** | +| ------------------ | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | +| | | diff --git a/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 1.md b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 1.md index 5076a0d..c93ac22 100644 --- a/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 1.md +++ b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 1.md @@ -1,9 +1,39 @@ +01/02/2025 - ***Rust monsters and race traitors*** + The tale starts in the bustling, rural Tiefling village of [[SiegHell]]. -3 strangers were going about their respective business in the vicinity of the local market when, unexpectedly, a sheep came rushing down the street, directly at [[Autismus Von Autingler]], the local gullible buffoon. It held a scroll in its mouth of “Speak with Animals” that [[Autismus Von Autingler|Autismus]] promptly took and cast upon himself. +3 strangers were going about their respective business in the vicinity of the local market when, unexpectedly, a sheep came rushing down the street, directly at [[Autismus Von Autingler]], the local gullible buffoon. It held a scroll in its mouth of “Speak with Animals” that Autismus promptly took and cast upon himself. -The sheep proceeded to explain how it wasn’t originally a sheep, it had been transformed by a mysterious apparatus, deep within a cave, not far from the village and it requested aid in hopefully returning to its previous form. [[Autismus Von Autingler|Autismus]] cast around blankly, pleading for an adult to help him with this task and a nearby fisherman/hunter, “[[Bubba]]” obliged to accompany him as he intended to go fishing anyway.

The sheep continued to plead for help and added that the party would be rewarded for their assistance with treasures aplenty! This caught the ear of local, respected businessman [[Joffrey Tiefstein]], (who had been waiting in line nearby to acquire a new product being launched) and with a magnanimous smile, he agreed to partake in this venture. +The sheep proceeded to explain how it wasn’t originally a sheep, it had been transformed by a mysterious apparatus, deep within a cave, not far from the village and it requested aid in hopefully returning to its previous form. Autismus cast around blankly, pleading for an adult to help him with this task and a nearby fisherman/hunter, “Bubba” obliged to accompany him as he intended to go fishing anyway.

The sheep continued to plead for help and added that the party would be rewarded for their assistance with treasures aplenty! This caught the ear of local, respected businessman Joffrey Tiefstein, (who had been waiting in line nearby to acquire a new product being launched) and with a magnanimous smile, he agreed to partake in this venture. -The trio marched forth past the [[Obelisk of O’brien]] war memorial, towards the major trade road into town “The Outlet”, glancing back, they saw the village in the shadow of the vastness of [[The Ivory Tower]], the workplace of the administration and ruling class. In short order, they arrived at the [[Qumdrop Swamp]], proceeded to the mouth of a cave under an ancient tree and the sheep warned them of the ever present risk of gators. The woollen nuisance began to add an additional warning before the effects of the spell suddenly ended, leaving it bleating unhelpfully. +The trio marched forth past the Obelisk of O’brien war memorial, towards the major trade road into town “The Outlet”, glancing back, they saw the village in the shadow of the vastness of The Ivory Tower, the workplace of the administration and ruling class. -[[Bubba]] bravely descended into the darkness, trailed by [[Autismus Von Autingler|Autismus]], whilst an ever-sceptical [[Joffrey Tiefstein|Joffrey]] watched as the sheep refused to enter. With a dashing smile, appropriate flourishes of his shiny leather jacket and choice words, he was able to convince the cowardly cotton-ball to follow. \ No newline at end of file +In short order, they arrived at the Qumdrop Swamp, proceeded to the mouth of a cave under an ancient tree and the sheep warned them of the ever present risk of gators. The woollen nuisance began to add an additional warning before the effects of the spell suddenly ended, leaving it bleating unhelpfully. + +Bubba bravely descended into the darkness, trailed by Autismus, whilst an ever-sceptical Joffrey watched as the sheep refused to enter. With a dashing smile, appropriate flourishes of his shiny leather jacket and choice words, he was able to convince the cowardly cotton-ball to follow. + +No sooner had they entered than they encountered a narrow land bridge spanning a chasm, and with no other means of crossing, they began to warily tread the gap. + +Halfway across, they were beset upon by large, insectile beasts and, heroically, Joffrey vaulted the sheep he kept in front of him to engage them, although despite his efforts, he was unable to land a swing. + +Quickly this fight devolved into disaster; weapons were dissolved by the bodily builds of the monsters, shots were missed or ineffective and an unbelievably devastating bite felled Joffrey in a single blow. Desperation reigned, Autismus made a last ditch effort to get to Joffrey as the light faded in his eyes and was miraculously able to heal him.
 + +Bubba was wobbly on his feet and down to swiping his fishing rod in a last act of futility; thinking quickly, with his newfound vitality, Joffrey inspired the others and encouraged them to push the creatures off of the bridge, this moment of brilliance saved lives. + +Even amid the commotion, it did not go unnoticed that the sheep had fled at the first sign of trouble and Joffrey retrieved it with an appropriate level of negative reinforcement.

Making their way down the tunnel, they came to a fork and chose to go left which brought them to a room strewn with bones and seemingly little else; searching the debris Bubba however, uncovered a Bag of Holding, several potions and a rusty flail. Joffrey, as the most responsible and experienced in handling valuable possessions, selflessly offered to bear this burden on behalf of the party and a presented a case that both of his weapons had been tragically lost. With little fuss it was agreed that this was most sensible. + +Backtracking, they took the neighbouring tunnel and arrived in a worked stone room with a number of barrels, among which, Joffrey shrewdly observed one of unnatural cleanliness. Conjuring his mage hand, he proceeded to knock upon the conspicuous cask and it burst to life, sprouting metal limbs and screeching “intruder alert”.

Ushering the party back, Joffrey courageously confronted the entity and cast Thunderwave upon it, obliterating the contents of the room and doing considerable damage to this barbarous barrel. Unfortunately, the venomous vessel doused the party in poisonous beer and promptly set them on fire for good measure. + +A deft crack of Bubba’s fishing rod whip finally broke the hide of this keg on legs, although Joffrey felt his particularly cutting remarks did far more damage to the creature’s psyche than could be measured. + +Among the wreckage, Autismus and Bubba could have sworn that they saw a sealed parcel of magical hops but Joffrey assured them that this must have been a trick of the light as, in a moment, it was nowhere to be seen. + +Making good use of mage hand again, they knocked on, and then opened the door that the robot had apparently been guarding and triggered a number of deadly traps that would have killed the first person to enter. + +At last they had arrived at the glowing contraption that the sheep had foretold, it featured a chamber large enough for a person to stand in and an accompanying control panel covered in indiscernible runes. + +Employing various scientific methods, and through a process of trial and error, they uncovered the meaning of several of the tiles on the control panel and convinced the sheep to enter the chamber. The end result of the experiment was a Dragonborn man who proclaimed that, with his new form, could decipher the remainder of the runes on the machine.

The Dragonborn revealed that he had previously been a destitute goblin and really had no treasure to offer; he seemed unusually assertive that the Tieflings should give up their forms in favour of other races. Bubba was the only race traitor among the group that chose to be altered into a Halfling of all things.

While Bubba was in the machine, Joffrey noted that its power level increased with this change whereas it had only lost power when previously converting the sheepgoblinborn and deduced the machine must be powered by infernal energies found in Tieflings.

Disgusted by the inherent racism of this individual, enraged by the lack of treasure and existential abomination of a machine potentially powered by local Tieflings, Joffrey convinced the Dragonborn to re enter the machine.

Once he was inside, Joffrey turned him back into a sheep to minimise the risk to the party, then experimented with other settings that resulted in a hostile, animated flesh conglomerate. In the ensuing panic, Autismus activated the machine again, returning the entity to feeble sheep form, before Joffrey ended its pathetic existence, along with its demonic machine, with another Thunderwave TM. + +Despite the anger of two of the party, that ironically considered the theoretical financial benefit of the machine, not all was lost; Bubba gained a new alchemical set, Joffrey a new set of sheep knuckle dice, and Autismus, a fine sheepskin cape. + +- *Excerpt from the collected works of [[Joffrey Tiefstein]]* diff --git a/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 10 (Notes).md b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 10 (Notes).md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4348d3d --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 10 (Notes).md @@ -0,0 +1,195 @@ +4/10/2025 + +Ship lands erect at the dock, Dyson’s finished his research, Ioun stone of perpetual head scratching +1 int + +Autismus doesnt want it + +Bubba stashes it for now, wants to put it on a ring, gets gem back once it’s socketed. gives the ring to autismus + +big crash into the dock beside the tower, creampie the pilot crashes the space lobster after flailing with levers + +squelch gets out and says to straighten it up fuckwit + +solkanaar glides down smoothly with a bubble around his head and lands; thinks devils planted the seeds and destroyed the planet with big suck, concerned about their power, wants any information we have. + +the rock is a the hub, should be able to get more information, looking for hoover, flies off + +Joffrey greets squelch and gives him illithid breastplate +1 + +autismus looking at his illithid coin and thinking about it, couldn’t be currency, they don’t use currency, hive mind. puts it in his pocket + +joffrey going off to market to sell shit, takes 2 vials of replicator dust and lucky rabbit foot off bubba, gets 3 breasted yeti bikini off of autismus + +slowbad is coming with the group, squelch finds out he’s a tinkerer and is asking him about upgrading his hammer. “hefty power supply” maybe you should come back to my tribe “the scrapjacks”. he’s a head shorter than squelch, like a midget goblin, different tribe perhaps, squintier eyes. + +old dwarves fisherman sitting around winking and nodding at bubba, trying to get his attention. Bubba trying to communicate with him, asks if there is anything unique around here fishing wise. “have you ever heard of a skaver?”

Bubba and this dude talking a bunch of wank about fish “little brown ones, big ones, void ones with glowing red eyes etc”, secret society of fisherman, need to rep up with their faction by fishing, Jahn the fisherman, you should come with me on a trip, i’m here all the time, just check all the good fishing spots around, someone like you should be able to find them. Bubba says he should come find him in a couple days + +joffrey goes off to dock master, reads all forms, fees for parking, height of it etc, don’t have a pre existing booking, not a part the merchants guild + +joffrey gets him down from 100gp to 5gp, gets on well, both men of culture, talking about scales don’t use them bring your own this place is incredibly corrupt.

Squelch talking to slowbad, tells him to go to happy beholder and find commodore crux + +Joffrey negotiates to keep the hamsters on extended loan from slowbad, he’s grateful to be saved etc, joffrey was willing to pay 10x the price of a standard labourer (1gp) per day. + +The rest of the party head off towards the happy beholder for drinks and info. all races there, insect people, tiefling, hippo people etc. + +giant beholder floating around eying everyone, happy af, got an apron on, hovering drinks etc around with telekinesis from his eyes etc. + +welcome, booth over there, can i get you some drinks ? Bubba: sprite ? i can get you some spite ! + +autismus wants space vodka, spodka, some spacekraut. Squelch wants some water… + +in the corner is a big giff (hippo person), commodore crux drowning his sorrows, empties all around him. + +Bubba scooting his chair over to him accross the whole bar; asks him what’s wrong with a big smile + +
“bureaucratic leeches and pointy eared cowards” hates elves etc, stupid elves with their stupid ears, don’t give a fuck about their ancestral home, blow the fuck out of it. + +Autismus keen, sits down and says he overheard about space elves, he hates them too

what do you hate the most “their fucking ears” they’ve wormed their way into society, film and banking etc.

GIff taken aback by autismus passionate outburst + +he’s been fighting the assholes for years, they sucked off his entire homeland, he used to be in the navy, the giff have nothing left. got booted out of navy for drinking too much. ships been impounded, falsified charges, something about transport tariffs. Autismus : fucking eleven bullshit.

he was gonna join the armada and fight back. they’re draining planets dry just to sustain their sun, they should let it die. they fly to your planet, squirt their seed all over it and suck you dry. + +TRUMPED UP TARRIFS! we should build a wall around the whole space elf system! + +Squelch says they have a ship, he wants to get his own ship and crew back. if they can help him get it back, he’ll take them to the armada and they can help him. He says they’ve suspended his spelljammer license, he was provoked, he didn’t mean to hit the elf ambassador first. + +Squelch suggests making the elf ambassador disappear, the charges would go with him! that’s a great idea !

he has these body guards tho, 3x of them, 8 feet tall, big blazing swords etc. + +Autismus says they just killed 3x elfstartes, should be able to take em. + +bubba asks for map of the city, there’s one on the wall that he can look at, bubba takes it. + +space talent show in 2 hours time 1st prize sentient magic item, 2nd prize clearing bar tab, flier on the wall, 3 parts to it, can enter in teams of 3, people can do different things, 1st impress the crowd, 2nd round quizz, 3rd round is a fight to the death. + +on their way back to docks they pass an aristocratic elf in finery, seems very snide and is looking down his nose at everyone. Autismus returns his expression and spits at his feet. + +Joffrey has arranged repairs etc, ship is now in drydock + +Group tell him about talent show, joffrey takes dyson, from the ship, + +squelch telling me about crux’s issues with lawyers, impounded ship, tarrifs etc, he’s very interested. + +Joffrey wants to enter too, enters dyson for quiz, random mercenary veteran with a longsword “Kilgore the Destroyer” + +austismus goes up to bookie bets 5gp on each of them to win

Joffrey goes up, performative, leaning on cane etc, coughing, lies about entering and not being very good. manages to convince him, given 5 to 1 odds, bets 20gp (max bet), stands up smartly “thanks very much” strides off with flames coming from bagpipes. bookie looking salty. + +beholder running show “happy luigi” welcoming everyone, random group gets called up, crowd only luke warm, not very excited so far.

random elf is first up (not a space elf), shooting ping pong balls out of her dress, autismus frantically trying to catch them, quite excited. 2 people fighting over one of the balls etc. + +up next is random orc, some cheering from his team, out come plate of swords etc, starts eating them, swallowing them. no one is as excited as by the elf chick. + +Bubba gets called up next, says he’s a trained professional, don’t do this at home, he flops out his dick under a cloth and is doing puppetry of the penis, going through his cast fishing rod etc, floating around as it’s secretly replaced be the invisible imp. + +Joffrey plays his flaming bagpipes and does the solo from “a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll”, rolls a 9, pretty meh. + +next up is another halfling, does juggling and acrobatics, pretty good, joffrey claps while others boo + +scores : elf - 6/5, orc swallows - 3/5, bubba - 1/5, joffrey 3/5, halfling juggling 4/5. + +Round 2 quiz: + +General lore question: who is the goddess of magic in the setting?

Jack: John ? + +Dyson: rolls 15, knows the answer. + +Second question: which outer plane is home to demons + +Jack: abyss ? Correct + +Dyson: 10 total, doesnt know + +Third question: what is the maximum spell level that a wizard can cast + +Jack: 10 ? + +Dyson: rolls 17, knows the answer + +Fourth question: how many hit points does a bag of holding have ?

Jack: none ? correct
 + +Dyson: rolls 4, doesn’t know + +Final question: name the chromatic dragon goddess

Jack: Tiamat

Dyson: rolls 16 correct + +3 points each for this round, another team got 3, others scored low + +ranking elves: 6, orcs 5, chads 4, joffrey on 6, halflings 7 + +Final round: combat “Luigi says we can’t have a fight to the death in city limits, it’s going to be an arm wrestle competition against the bouncer.

Joffrey team initiative 10, squelch 9, elves 13, orcs 1, halflings 13 + +elves get the by + +Kilgore 20 vs halflings 18, halflings eliminated + +Squelch tries to intimidate orcs, fails, orc rolls a 1 anyway, squelch 15; breaks the orc’s arm + +kilgore gets the by in this round + +squelch rolls 22, beats the elf, + +Kilgore and Squelch in the final round + +Kilgore gets 7, squelch rolls high and beats him + +Final ranking:
halflings: 8 + +orcs: 6 + +elves: 8 + +chads: 9 + +Joffrey: 10 + +Bubba’s team get theirs and Crux’s bar tab payed off, joffrey gets a sentient desk lamp called Lumio. basically rob the lamp + +Group goes to the great market, joffrey vendors all their mundane shit, rolls 26 persuade, gets 200% item value, 1386gp + +autismus gives him 250 gp from his winnings to divvy up; Joffrey offers the party 200gp each, but offers a deal to keep half their wages to help them negotiate for whatever they would like to buy. Bubba and autismus accept + +dispenses 400gp total, 100 each to aut and bubba, 200 for squelch + +autismus confused about giving him 250 gp but only getting 100 back + +joffrey waves them on, don’t worry about it, you don’t have a head for money + +Joffrey spends 30 gp after rolling a 1 on upgrading his armor to fancy captains coat and gets a new fancy spanish style captains hat with a big feather in it. + +Bubba wants a magic blow gun, asks joffrey to help him, initial offer is 200gp, says 300 for a tiefling after seeing joffrey, joffrey tries to haggle, the man says if the goblin does a backflip, he’ll make it 150gp. Squelch succeeds, joffrey tries to offer him clear sapphires to reduce the price to 100 but he wont budge, says he has no use for marbles around here. + +autismus offered a “belt of gender changing” by a random vendor, he declines + +Autismus looking for defence, finds a cloak of protection for 250gp, fails rolls but gets him down to 225; he says he’ll think about it and goes and tells joffrey + +joffrey comes into the store with a sad old man act, shows the vendor the cloak and says he could use something to stop his son from beating him, he’s very vulnerable, rolls 21, gets him down to 115, offers him clear sapphires, wont budge, tells him to go to the jewellers and sell them then come back with the money. + +Joffrey accepts 115, abruptly stops acting poorly and walks out of the shop, autismus pays 100 out of pocket, joffrey pays the 15 from the pot. + +down to 1091 gold. + +squelch gone to slowbads clan building, wants to get his hammer aesthetically improved. + +Squelch explaining how his tribe is in the service of a black dragon, she took the fish people and goblins with her into space when planet was big sucked. chunk of the planet she took with them. + +he expresses that he wants to go home, wishes their planet wasn’t getting sucked, its not dead yet. + +slowbad says they should go with com. crux and help them fight against the elves. + +says he’d like to kill the dragons too, asks if they could modify his hammer for dragon killing + +he’d like a chunk of a planet just for his tribe + +slowbad suggests that the whacksplat could be used as a fuel source for a big rocket + +squelch opts to leave the weapon with him, takes a +1 mace equivalent off him, basically some scrap metal. + +leaves there, bubba wants to go fishing, looks like graveyard would be an acceptable place to access the lake. whistling and wanders through the graveyard upbeat while people are grieving, having funerals etc. spends the day there. + +he rolls 17 and catches a space guppy, 3ft long fish with 3 eyes and its trying to fly away as he reels it in. got space guppy meat now + +rolls 22, gets a space eel, it tries to bite him, 5ft long, 2dmg, tries to latch on, succeeds, whips with tail 2dmg, doesnt poison him. + +bubba fails to hit on first attack, second one hits it and its knocked out. acquired space eel + +rolls 24 for fishing: 6ft long skaver, baby one, fails strength check, snaps his line + +Bubba leaves as another funeral is on, disturbs them as well, hooks the body accidentally + +back in pub, talking to crux, will help him get his ship back, Joffrey thinks they shouldn’t kill the elven ambassador. probs go through merchant guild and try to get ship out of impound. might be difficult dealing with the legal issues about his spell jamming license being suspended. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 11 (Notes).md b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 11 (Notes).md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5387913 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 11 (Notes).md @@ -0,0 +1,99 @@ +26/10/2025 + +- Docks - Flapjack + Dyson "There are renos going on, can't stay here" + +- Group takes residence in the "Golden Cock" + +- At breaksfast the next morning and Crux shows up to talk about their plans + +- Autismus and crux go boozing after Joffrey gives them 100gp to get rid of them for the day + +- Joffrey gets into his fancy clothes and adopts his alter ego "Duke Ary Magini" (talks like a southern gentleman) to go and see Ambassador Katar Von Erg + +- Goes to the temple of Waukeen in the temple district on the way there and makes a donation of 50gp and prays for the goddess' favor in his coming diplomatic trials. + +- On his way to the upper city he notices 3 star moths flying overhead in formation, possibly heading for the docks + +- He bluffs his way past the guards at the gate to the upper city and flicks them a gold coin, tells them to keep up the good work + +- Finds a black halfling gardener called "bad boy bubby" tending to some fancy hedges and questions him about his master and if he knows where the ambassador stays. + +- Directed to "The Golden Shower" fancy inn and heads in that direction + +- Bubba is fishing off the side of the asteroid in a new location and catches 2x small fish, then hooks a big 6ft skaver and has to fight it. Kills and catches it. + +- Takes fish to Jahn who isnt that impressed and says he has to find something more special to gain entrance to the fisherman's guild. He gifts the fish to him anyway. + +- Bubba wanderes off hoping ot find Autismus + +- Autismus is playing dice on a street corner with a black halfling, crux and some other creatures + +- He notices a group of 6x elfstartes/elves marching up from the dock, towards the upper city + +- Crux notices too and starts to boil over and Autismus attempts to calm him down successfully. + +- They decided to follow the elves and see where they are going and successfully manage to follow them up the street in a comical display, leaping over food vendor carts, disguising themselves with garbage and ramen boxes etc. + +- Joffrey arrives at the Golden Shower and talks to the front of house lady, and she attempts to discourage him, thinking he'd flirt with her and says he couldnt afford her. + +- he assures her that he has a lot of money and could definitely afford her but that's not what he's there for + +- Asks to see ambassador and expresses that it's important + +- made to wait, orders a drink (mint julip) after 5 mins and moves to the fancy bar from the waiting lounge he was in earlier + +- After another 10 mins the Ambassador comes out, has a white veil on that mostly obscures his face, brusquely asks what this is about. + +- Joffrey bandies back and forth, eventually getting the ambassador to agree to drop the charges (not that the ambassador could be bothered showing up to a trial anyway) and they bond over their mutual hate of xenos. + +- Ambassador refuses to help beyond this and says Joffrey is free to go and talk to the merchants guild if he wants, but he isnt going to help him. + +- Joffrey tries to work some angles to see if he can get more out of him and maybe get a letter of marque so that he can have permission to carry banned elven gear on his ship, perhaps in exchange for proof of destroyed griff ships. + +- Ambassador says that for now, he can go off and get some information for them, and if he proves useful, maybe they can look at other arrangements at a later date. + +- As Joffrey is leaving, he sees some Elfstartes entering and carrying a stack of documents, can't see what they are, too busy bowing and scraping on his way out. + +- Autismus uses his invisible imp to get some drone footage of the elfstartes and see that the documents they are carrying seem to be wanted posters and the one on the top looks like Bubba with a reward of 2 thousand gold for "war crimes" + +- Joffrey is walking out of the upper city gate, says goodbye to the guards again, notices the rest of the group covered in trash, loitering around the gate and tries not to be seen. + +- Bubba and Autismus don't recognise him, but Crux does and as he realises this, he Message's Autismus to keep quiet, not acknowledge him and go another route; he'd meet them in the market district shortly. + +- Meet in market district, exchange information; Tells Crux he got his license back and that he punched the ambassador loads. Crux very pleased by this. + +- Joffrey very excited by the 2 thousand gold reward on Bubba and jokes they could hand Bubba in and buy a new halfling for far less. + +- Autismus goes wandering and is offered a dagwood dog, he orders 2 and says one is for Bubba + +- Bubba mis-hears, asks if this is a disabled dog and receives a disabled dog (daschund in a wheelchair) that he names "cinammon" + +- Joffrey tells a vendor he's in the market for a cat, is offered a displacer beast, this seems far too over the top and dangerous, clarifies that he just wants a domestic cat and is told to just get a stray. finds one almost immediately and makes an initial attempt to tame it, successful, taking it with him + +- Goes to magistrate office/merchants guild HQ, there is a big queue and he looks about and notices a privileged person express queue. Mimics the person ahead of him and makes it to the front of the line, ushered by a black halfling. + +- Talks to teller, they review Crux's file, seems fraudulent, claims that he's got 10 grand in taxes on him because he was allegedly carrying 100 grand of smokeleaf, although that seems impossible. + +- Joffrey bribes him to talk to a manager and is lead to another fancy waiting area. + +- person ahead of him leaving the magistrate's office seems upset and joffrey tips his hat to him and says hello politely, then goes in. + +- Magistrate is a little black, grey, brown gnome in fancy chair at a big desk covered with documents and a magic quill called "inksniffer". + +- they discuss the file on crux after it magically arrives and Joffrey says he's there on behalf of the elven ambassador + +- paperwork battle ensues with joffrey trying to convince the gnome that Crux's galleon that's up for auction is probably worthless and full of griff poop and space termites, then bribes him with a ruby and convinces him it would be a lot less work to just let this case get lost. + +- Gets paperwork for ship release that he has to take to the docks and co-sign with crux to get the galleon back + +- meets back up with others, tells crux his ship is now freed, still in character, stuck method acting + +- Go to the docks and talk to the shipright to see how repairs are progressing of Tiefstein Tower, don't want ot leave that behind. + +- its gonna take weeks to finish, try to argue with the foreman about the repairs and try to get the time down as Crux wants to leave immediately. fails and they tell him it takes as long as it takes; it could be done in 4 days at a massive expense. + +- Joffrey apologises for his frustrations + +- They go and co-sign the release of the ship at the dockmaster's office and Crux runs off to gather his crew to leave by the following day. Thanks Joffrey and after he enquires about becoming Crux's second officer tentatively, as part of the crew merger, Crux clarifiies that he's happy for Joffrey to be in command. + +- Joffrey heads to Waukeen's temple, gives thanks for all his successes, donates another 10gp and is acknowledged by one of the priests. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 12 (Notes).md b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 12 (Notes).md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b9a6325 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 12 (Notes).md @@ -0,0 +1,245 @@ +15/11/2025 + +- Everyone meets at the dock, ready to board "
Second Wind", Crux's self-healing, scabby old galleon with a couple of ballistas and a treant catapult. + +- Goblins latch the lobster ship to the bottom of Second Wind and Squelch summons his steed, a celestial lizard with colour shifting sequin scales to help them get up on deck. + +- Crux assembles his dodgy crew to present to the party, there are only 5 of them and they are a sorry bunch with various afflictions + +- Crux warns Joffrey that the monkey man (Hatoozi) Mr Gibbons likes to argue and Joffrey tells him thats fine, he also loves to argue. "no, no, he likes to argue and then things escalate" Joffrey affirms that he is the same. "No i meant he will start throwing his own shit" + +- Mr Gibbons doesn't believe in magic but is devoutly religious, Joffrey says not to worry, all his "spells" are just religious miracles + +- Mr Gibbons is interested in fashion and dismayed by the state of Bubba, Squelch and Autismus, says he can help them out; invites Autismus to his quarters + +- Is the lobster ship successfully attached ? Mark makes a blind role and will find out later + +- Getting underway, how will the party help ? Bubba: whips the monkey-man to motivate him, Autismus: helps the crew with the ropes, Squelch starts CUTTING the mooring ropes, upsets Crux, Joffrey drags an ornate chair out of the captains office and sits down, then says something inspirational to the crew. + +- Next issue is that the ride is a bit bumpy because of a dodgy spelljammer throne, got some illegal gravity fish to compensate; someone will need to feed them + +- Autismus and Bubba go to feed them, they discover a hold full of 400 barrels of smokeleaf in all manner of varieties… the Elven allegations were true…. + +- the fish are large and like a cross between a piranha and a pufferfish. + +- Bubba slings his rod under their tank with a guppy on it and it floats upward into their upside down tank and they hoe into it. One gets hooked but he cuts the line, only wants to feed them for now. + +- Asked about his fishing rod and how much line he has, decides the line is made from tiefling hair as it’s very strong and sleek, he’s been harvesting it from Autismus’ head in his sleep to replenish his reel. + +- Ship is stabilised now the fish are fed. + +- Bubba and Autismus head upstairs again, bubba carrying his dog, ‘tismus considers using mage hand to help, dog is too heavy, decided to cast it on his balls instead. + +- Those two don’t tell Joffrey or squelch what they found in the hold. + +- Autismus has an aside with Crux and mentions the smokeleaf and asks if he’s in to dodgy shit, no just eats it but also helps to pay the crew and bills. Discuss weed and kelp sandwiches. + +- Now nighttime, Autismus climbs to the crows nest to talk to the one eyed, hippy, lizard man that is meditating while he’s meant to be on watch. “Vask” centring his soul. + +- Screaming noise starts very quiet and slowly increases in volume over an hour, Autismus hears it but everyone else is in bed. Squelch curled up on deck with lizard, bubba curled up with cinnamon on deck at the back of the ship, Joffrey in captains quarters with a fancy silk eye mask on in a nice bed. + +- Autismus wakes Squelch and Bubba, goes downstairs and throws water over Joffrey to try and wake him. J magnifies voice and calls for silence, magically slams door, Autismus goes back in and tells Joffrey he heard a scary noise. + +- Crux comes back on deck, says it’s the void goo and they need to deal with it or it will keep getting worse. Joffrey dismisses Autismus to go deal with it and goes back to bed. + +- Black gunk on the front of the ship emitting noise, squelch goes to check with the lizard using its “spider climb” ability. Bubba tosses him a bottle and wants a sample, squelch experiments on it with his dagger, ineffective. It’s giving him a headache + +- Autismus tries “feeding” it some of the space tobacco, doesn’t work. Tries lighting cigarette and pressing it in to the goo, no reaction. + +- Squelch tries a bottle of acid, not enough liquid to get all the goo, only affects a small area. + +- Joffrey is TRYING TO SLEEP! arrives on deck, asks to be sent down there, squelch won’t give up his lizard. + +- Squelch decides to go under the ship and see if the lobster is still there - nope. + +- Creampie is back at the Rock of Braal just floating there. Does int check, crit fails, likely attaches to a random ship and goes on an adventure. + +- Mr Gibbons rocks up, asks what they are doing and why they aren’t using the goo squeegee ? Squelch gets tossed the squeegee and removes the goo successfully. + +- Squelch rolls for how much thc was on that cigarette from Autismus that he took a drag on, 68%, he’s high as ball now. + +- There’s a concern that he might have fallen off the lizard but remembers it has gecko skin and he’s stuck to it, doesn’t have to worry about a saddle. + +- Bubba cleans off the squeegee into a vial to collect a sample of void goo. + +- Squelch reveals the lobster is gone, Joffrey goes back to bed, sighing. + +- Autismus asks Gibbon about void goo, he tells him it’s goo from the void ? It screams and probably eats light, clings to stuff and is the worst. See space hulks infested and eaten by it. Is a catty bitch and criticizes Autismus outfit. Invites him to his cabin if he’d like some help with it. It’s 2am. Gibbon is basically Glenn and has one button done wrong. Autismus declines. + +- Everyone is back in bed, aut goes down to cargo hold to fill up on smokeleaf again, runs into Crux and catches him eating it. + +- Joffrey wakes up the next day and is very crabby, the wind kept him up all night. + +- They are still travelling to the edge of the system, can see a giant beam of light coming from their planet as it’s being consumed shooting off into the distance. + +- Autismus wakes to find he’s missing a shoe, took them off before bed. Goes up on deck, starts raging about where his shoe is. + +- He tries to order his imp to sniff his shoe and then sniff the other one out, his imp refuses, he’s not a slave, they argue for a while. Imp says HE should sniff his own shoe, Autismus does this intimidatingly and convinces the imp to sniff as well. Now what ? Sniff out the other shoe ? He’s not a sniffer dog! Autismus’ nose is ten times as big! + +- Bubba uses his superior tracking skills to get the trail, leads him to mysterious chest. Taps it, starts growling, it’s the ship’s pet mimic. Advised to try offering something else to get his shoe back. It bites Bubba when he keeps fiddling with it. + +- Autismus tries to offer it his sheepskin cape (from sheepgoblinborn ep1) not interested. + +- tries 5 gold like fish food, it loves that, gobbles them up, still doesn’t get shoe back + +- Crew member walking past laughs at Autismus, says mimic loves boots. It’s Peggy the deckhand, has a peg leg. + +- Autismus considers stealing her peg leg with magic to feed to the mimic. + +- Autismus manages to feed it 10 more gold and get back his shoe but loses the sheepskin cape in the process + +- Been travelling for a couple of days, squelch concerned they don’t know where they’re going, Crux insists he knows, using a compass that is spazzing out. When questioned says that they’re going to his friend’s place, need star maps, lost his ability to navigate the astral sea; then they can find the astral elve’s armada and then join the fight against them. + +- Bangs on about the astral elves attacking and big succing planets to fuel their home system’s dying star. When questioned about WHEN his homeward was destroyed, he admits it was decades ago and it took 2 months for total destruction. + +- Only 4 hours from the cartographer’s place. + +- Autismus returns to crow’s nest and asks Vask if Crux is nuts “he shits a lot” is all he has to say, as though this is profound, then takes a deep breath and returns to his meditation. + +- Bubba and Joffrey make their respective animal handling rolls, Both fail and Joffrey is scratched and takes minor damage. + +- Joffrey does his “here comes the money” intro on deck and makes it rain 20 silver to motivate the crew, autismus and the mimic appear and scrabble trying to get some of the coins + +- Arrive at Toopla’s Tower, she’s standing on the dock jiggling about excitedly, her tower sort of looks like an offset pile of toilet rolls; have to park the ship further out and take a jolly boat in to her dock, who’s rowing ? Not Joffrey + +- Crux stands on the bow of the rowboat, Joffrey stands slightly in front of him with his sword out, dramatically. + +- As they’re crossing the distance, a glowing light appears and gets brighter, then this giant, 20 foot long, Scaver appears with huge jaws and tries to frighten the party and crux. Frightens Bubba + +- Attacks Joffrey, 29 to hit, does 27 dmg but doesn’t succeed in swallowing him or frightening him + +- The fish is defeated mostly by Bubba, Joffrey resigns himself to rowing after he can’t cast heat metal on the hook or really do any damage at range; Autismus lobs spells and Squelch also focuses on rowing as he’s frightened. Autismus and Joffrey almost got one-shot during the fight + +- Squelch jumps off the boat as soon as its near enough to the dock and retreats, followed by Joffrey, who immediately heals himself as much as he can. + +- Autismus gets killing blow with magic missile, Bubba harvests its head and some void skaver scales + +- Upon its death it vomits up a dwarven body, its a skeleton inside of a “fish suit” (basically a scuba/space suit that gives you a move speed improvement in water/space) + +- Bubba loots fish suit, Autismus searches the body and removes its golden tooth. + +- Joffrey reminds them to make sure someone ties up the boat and Bubba does. + +- Crux didn’t help at all, gets off boat, congratulates party and warmly greets Toopla + +- Toopla asks if they are there to help her out with her predicament; what predicament ? + +- Autognomes she got along with the new telescope she bought have gone mad with security and locked her out of her tower. + +- Offers Joffrey the sheet with the instructions/code on it, he informs her that he has no need of keys, snaps his fingers and casts “Knock” from 20 meters away, unlocking the door instantly. + +- She asks him how good he is at not being charmed by enormous tits, he says he does the charming around here, crit succeeds his wisdom save; she’s very taken with him and his ability to resist her. + +- She mentioned all the new expensive equipment she’d bought and he disregarded her and immediately went to enter the tower. + +- He walks through the door and is immediately downed by the trap that is on the front door that causes it to slam outwards into him putting his head through the door, it does 10d6 dmg (43 dmg) + +- Squelch manages to succeed in removing him from the door and saves him from perma-death, then heals him for 20 + +- Joffrey proceeds to heal himself as best he can, again, now furious and stressed from almost dying twice in the last 10 mins and being kept up at night by the void ooze. + +- Grabs Toopla and starts dragging her to push her through the door in-front of him, Crux jumps in front of him, protests and tries to diffuse the situation. Manages to calm things down and restore order after asserting that this was caused by the Autognomes, not by Toopla. + +- Go in to tower, grow tubs and magic garden, grow lights, fruits, wheat etc being grown, some Autognomes working that aren’t crazy + +- Toopla says it must be the ones in the top of the tower that she set to enhanced security mode that are the issue. + +- Sealed circular hatch in the roof, rope hanging down that magically levitates you up or down when you hold it + +- Mechanism with a bucket of gears etc 3m off the ground that seems to be what you have to manipulate to enter the code for the hatch. + +- Autismus tries to get his imp to go up and check out the bucket, comes back and reports its full of gears + +- Joffrey expresses his displeasure at all they have had to go through just to get here, and that they should just blow up the hatch, topple protests damaging her house and asks them nicely not to. + +- Joffrey tells her that she doesn’t understand all the hardships and lies they’ve had to endure, crux is full of shit; Toopla says that he doesn’t lie, he’s the most …. Un-lie-iest person that she knows, he wouldn’t lie to her, they’re friends. + +- Joffrey says how does she know they are friends, crux might have lied to her and she looks nervously at crux and asks what Joffrey knows, what has he said and he ignores her, leaves her on read. + +- Joffrey tries to send Mr Gibbons a message with the details of the riddle as they are all struggling to figure out the code to open the door; when the puzzle is finally solved, Gibbons replies with the same value. + +- Squelch goes through the hatch first after checking for traps, there is a kitchen with a pair of Autognomes preparing food, oblivious to anything, passive, there is a bedroom corner with a wardrobe etc, window, bookshelves etc. + +- Toopla is happy and goes up with them, pleased to see the gnomes preparing food and invites everyone to have dinner. + +- Out the window they can see their ship and the dock etc nothing out of the ordinary. + +- Another hatch in the ceiling, appears to be magic, glowing, intricate glyphs, hovering magic cogs, looks like some Dr Strange portal shit. + +- Bubba examines the gnomes in the gardens on the ground floor while autismus and squelch are upstairs; Joffrey lingers for a second but goes up when the hatch appears safe. + +- Joffrey tries to do an appraisal of the Autognomes, apparently roughly 1500 gold + +- Squelch tries to talk to one of the cooking autonomies but they aren’t really helpful or able to speak beyond saying their current assigned task and their number designation. Number 1 priority is to protect Toopla, number 2 priority is to cook food + +- Toopla shows them how she can create windows at will in her tower, the walls can go transparent and Squelch goes outside to see if he can see any windows on the top level from the outside, there are none, its completely sealed currently. + +- Autismus examines the magic hatch, can see its an insane magic lock but it would be possible to sort of hack through it with his arcana skill, theoretically. Doesn’t look dangerous, uses perception anyway and can’t see any traps. + +- Joffrey asks Autismus if he needs some help from dad after he fails hopelessly to open the magic lock + +- Joffrey casts knock on the door after some confusion on whether the knock spell could work on arcane locks; it would work, but he doesn’t use it for now, allowing others to try and solve the puzzle. + +- Bubba makes an attempt and fails + +- Toopla asks if they can break the door down, contradicting her previous sentiment that they weren’t to damage her home + +- Autismus casts magic missile at the door to see what happens, it doesn’t do any damage but it does increase his intelligence score unexpectedly. + +- Joffrey asks Toopla if she knows anything about what just happened, but she has no idea and is unhelpful. + +- Squelch goes up and hits the door with his sword, gains some intelligence as well but the door takes no visible damage. + +- Autismus, Squelch and Bubba continue trying to hit the door to see what happens and their intelligence continually increases with each hit. + +- This causes their arcana checks against the magical lock mechanism to progressively get easier. + +- Autismus casts detect thoughts on Toopla to see what she is thinking and she is thinking lewd thoughts about Crux. + +- Squelch is now up to 20 intelligence, the smartest person there now, makes another arcana check on the lock and fails. + +- Squelch demands that Joffrey cast Knock on the door, reaching peak frustration. + +- Joffrey maliciously complies and wants to cast Knock and hopefully spring a trap that hits him. + +- Unfortunately it only unlocks one level of this lock and there are multiple levels to it; Joffrey is very frustrated by this + +- Squelch continues hitting it, getting smarter, but failing to unlock it. + +- Bubba has the idea of hitting the door as fast as possible to try and rapidly increase his intelligence and starts rabbit punching it from underneath. + +- Even with over 40 intelligence now, Bubba still fails to unlock the lock, hilariously + +- Autismus succeeds in unlocking the next level of the lock with a nat 20, it still has more layers + +- Joffrey decides to just blow a hole in the ceiling next to the hatch instead and casts thunder wave on the ceiling “I tire of this” and succeeds in cracking it. + +- Joffrey commands Squelch to hit the cracked section with his sword; Autismus hits its with magic missile instead and finishes it off. + +- Toopla starts screaming, upset that they are breaking her building + +- Squelch gets hit by some of the debris and takes 4 dmg + +- Two Autognomes are up on the next floor working away with wrenches on some round contraption; when the party goes upstairs, their head rotate around backwards to look at them and they start shouting “INTRUDERS!” In mechanical voices. + +- After a very brief fight, the party destroys both of them and they are each disassembled in to 40 different parts + +- Toppla comes up to that level of the tower and complains about her damaged Autognomes, then thanks them for at least avoiding damage to her telescope and cartography materials. + +- Crux tells her where they are intending to head, to the Griff Armada in “Doom Space, to lead an assault on the Zoraxian Empire, and asks her if she now has access to star charts etc that can aid them + +- Toopla says she hasn’t charted that system, it would take quite a bit of time, but she can offer them an Astral Orrery, that works by showing the wielder where they are intending the Astral Sea at all times, aiding navigation. + +- Joffrey looks at all the charts around the room and suggests to Bubba and Squelch quietly that they gather all of that up and take her telescope to put on the galleon. + +- Crux seems like he would be a problem and prevent them from taking anything so Joffrey asks him to head down to the boat and get it ready for launch while they apologise and clean up after the damage they’ve done to Toopla’s Tower. + +- As soon as he leaves, Joffrey quietly suggests casting Suggestion on Toopla to manipulate her into letting them take everything but Squelch is extremely resistant to this and is protesting. + +- Joffrey sees that Squelch is a very big obstruction and decides to cast Suggestion on him instead. Squelch is arguing with him and he accuses Joffrey of being up to “some sketchy shit” and doesn’t want to go outside and clean up. + +- Joffrey casts Suggestion on him but Squelch is able to resist the spell successfully and says it’s time for them to leave, NOW! + +- Joffrey changes tack and convinces Toopla that these gnomes are quite dangerous if handled incorrectly and he’s concerned about leaving her with them, and she agrees to give him the 2 damaged gnomes and an owners manual for them. + +- While Joffrey is gathering up all the parts, Autismus pockets one to hamper Joffrey’s plan to reassemble them. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 13 (Notes).md b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 13 (Notes).md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ef60dae --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 13 (Notes).md @@ -0,0 +1,111 @@ +7/02/2026 + +- Session opens in Toopla’s Tower and Toopla is telling us about an incredible and great captain called “Grimrod Garglinale” who is very handsome and is on a crusade against the Astral Elves. + +- Toopla attempts to join the party on their journey, Joffrey is opposed to this but Autismus is compelled to allow her to come due to her great beauty. + +- Eventually its agreed that she can come with the party and Joffrey attempts to manipulate her into bringing her 4x valuable Autognomes with her, in the hopes that he can financially gain from this situation. + +- The party leaves Toopla’s Tower and arrives to find a debris field at the co-ordinates where Garglinale’s fleet was meant to be, seemingly the aftermath of a great battle. + +- Two human Vampirates hiding in the wreckage climb onboard, called Dorgo and Vita. + +- A tense standoff ensues and Commodore Crux wants to shoot them as they are Vampirates and have a bad reputation, but Joffrey and the rest of the group diffuse the situation and allow these 2 castaways to join the crew. + +- One of the Vampirates is a swabbie and joins the maintenance crew, overseeing the cleaning autognomes; the other Vampirate is a lookout and replaces Vask, the semi-blind spiritual lizard man in the crow’s nest. Vask is tasked with assisting Bubba in his alchemy lab. + +- They question the Vampirates about the battle and confirm that Garglinale’s fleet was ambushed by Astral Elves and defeated. Garglinale cast a spell on his ship, turning it invisible and was able to escape. + +- The vampirate fleet was anchored in their home system and they aren’t sure how the Astral Elve’s were able to find them. + +- Joffrey and Squelch question Toopla to see if she had any elves that came to see her recently and imply that she may have told someone where Garglinale’s fleet was hidden. + +- She denies that anything like that happened and says that she has never met an astral elf; she’s distracted mid conversation by amorous thoughts of Garglinale. + +- A debate ensues on whether or not they should explore the debris field and salvage some treasure as an electrical storm is brewing. Joffrey is very adamant that they should try and get some treasure and, among other plans, suggests firing someone out of a ballista to reach the derelicts quickly; Bubba finds this novel and exciting and loads himself into a ballista quietly while everyone is arguing. + +- While everyone is continuing to argue, Joffrey casually activates the ballista, firing bubba at the debris, and he goes headfirst through the porthole of a derelict Astral Elf Space-Moth ship approx 500m away. + +- While he’s searching the debris inside, he finds a pouch of 27 gold pieces, a potion of healing, a potion of climbing and a potion of Heroism. + +- Now committed to staying in the area with Bubba overboard, the crew scramble to move the ship to collect him as the storm worsens and Crux is struck by purple space lightning, knocking him unconscious. + +- The Spelljammer pilot driving their ship is called Dexa, who is a very wiry and unhealthy human female and they direct her to move the ship closer to where Bubba is. + +- They learn that the name of their Gnomish engineer onboard that they have never met is Lilip. + +- Bubba leaps back out of the derelict ship, using his Fish Suit to traverse the distance back to the crew’s ship; in the middle of his trip, he is struck by lightning, but in an unlikely turn of events, he catches it in a bottle. + +- When the ship is close enough, Bubba uses his fishing rod to reel himself back in. + +- When back on deck, he gives Joffrey the gold he found and Joffrey tries to give half back, but Bubba declines and says he doesn’t really care for gold; Joffrey beams and tells him he is like a favourite son to him. + +- Joffrey reads his instruction manual for the disassembled Autognomes and realises there is a piece missing. + +- Autismus talks to the Vampirates and they tell him that he smells of heroism; he casts detect thoughts on them and they are thinking that they like doing “heroism”. + +- Autismus goes to mess hall hoping to have a drink with Toopla, but finds that she’s helping crux eat because he’s very injured after being struck by lightning. + +- Using knowledge provided by the Vampirates, they locate and arrive at Captain Garglinale’s galleon “The Last Breath” and find that it is badly damaged after escaping from the battle earlier. True to his reputation, Garglinale is a very handsome Tiefling that is the spitting image of Joffrey, but has a scarred face, milky eye, hook for a hand, his animated severed hand is riding on his shoulder, and he has vampirate fangs. + +- Crux staggers up on deck, still injured from the lightning, sees Garglinale and threatens to shoot him, frightened of a vampirate, and Joffrey slaps the pistol from his hand, exasperated. + +- Garglinale questions them about why they are in this area, explains that he will need to rebuild his fleet after that loss to the astral elves and suggests that they join him. + +- The party and Garglinale retire to the captain’s dining room to talk specifics. + +- Garglinale asks about the Rock of Bral and Joffrey tells him it seems to be a hive of Astral Elves these days; he asks where else they could go and Crux tells him he should come with them to Doom Space to join the Griff armada. After a minor discussion, everyone agrees to head to Doom Space. + +- Garglinale details that, to join with him, they would have to adhere to the vampirate code: 1. Don’t Eat Each Other, No crew member shall partake of the flesh or blood of another crew member 2. No Hymns, many crew member’s ears are sensitive to holy praise, while aboard the ships, bards and other musicians are allowed to play only secular tunes. 3. Cowards Consequence, those who abandon their post and shirk their duties shall be marooned. 4. No Shipboard Conflicts, all disputes shall be settled on land. + +- The articles of the Vampirate code seemed agreeable and everyone was quite satisfied, but then Garglinale elaborated that they must also call him admiral and Joffrey balked at this. + +- Garglinale has a charisma battle with Joffrey for Admiralty over the fleet that they hope to rebuild, Joffrey wins by rolling a nat 20. + +- There is no love lost between them and Joffrey toasts Garglinale, breaking out his finest rum to honor him, especially as he looks like Joffrey, stoking his narcissism and racial pride for fellow Tieflings. + +- After the party return to the deck, Mr Gibbons suddenly approaches Garglinale and appears to be possessed, tells him in a deep and foreign voice that his crew are betraying him and his ship is no longer his. + +- The Last Breath takes off without him and the crew begin chasing it in their ship, The Second Wind. + +- Joffrey has Gibbons thrown in the brig as a precaution even though he appears to return to normal. + +- The party makes use of their various talents to attempt to catch up to the fleeing ship; Bubba uses survival to expertly trim sails and deploy flags to “catch the space wind”, Garglinale makes them invisible with a dark ritual involving an inscription on the deck, Joffrey plays Mariner’s Mambo on his flute, charming the Gravity Fish, reducing their gravity by 20% as the fish go to sleep and Autismus feeds the ship’s treant a heroism potion, juicing it up. + +- They successfully catch up with the ship after a few hours of pursuit. + +- Garglinale tells them that the enemy crew consistsof eight Vampirates, an ogre zombie, a Vampirate mage, and an annoying ghost. He also warns them that there is Alchemist’s Fire stored on his ship and they shouldn’t shoot at it. + +- Squelch misty steps over and starts fighting their spelljammer pilot, a vampirate mage. He crit hits but somehow manage to do minimal damage with bad rolls. + +- Autismus and bubba board through a hole in the back of the ship, attack and finish it; Joffrey boards, takes control of spelljammer throne and brings the ship to a halt. + +- They have a brief aside with Garglinale and Joffrey asks about the cargo and if they can jettison the Alchemist’s Fire to allow them to fire upon the ship safely. Garglinale is very annoyed and adamant that they mustn’t shoot his ship, and also tells them that the Alchemist’s Fire is spread out throughout his ship so it can’t be easily jettisoned. + +- Joffrey comments that not wanting his ship to explode, but rigging it to explode seems to be pretty poor planning. + +- Enemy crew are aware of them and are breaking into the room as the party continues planning. + +- A pitched battle ensues and the party works to hold the room where the Spelljammer throne is located to prevent the enemy crew from fleeing again. + +- Squelch and Joffrey hold the Spelljammer throne room, while Autismus, Bubba and Garglinale climb out of the hole in the back of the ship and attempt to climb up on the deck and flank the enemy from behind; unfortunately they run into the ogre zombie and some Vampirates and are forced to fight them on their own. + +- As each vampirate is killed, they explode into necrotic dust that deals necrotic damage, and while Squelch’s armour allows him to avoid most of their weapon damage, he is eventually knocked unconscious by repeated exposure to this dust. + +- After shooting a Vampirate, causing it to explode and knock Squelch unconscious, Joffrey revives him and apologises for not noticing he was so injured. + +- Autismus encounters the annoying ghost, who appears as a Tiefling and tries to possess him; Autismus ignores it, walking through it and proceeding the flank the remaining Vampirates. + +- Eventually the crew and Garglinale successfully defeat the mutineers onboard The Last Breath. + +- The annoying ghost of a tiefling re appears and attempts to possess Autismus but he is able to resist; it turns out that it manifests around a cursed golden amulet. + +- Joffrey covets the amulet and tries desperately to come up with an alternative to destroying it, suggesting exorcising it, or storing it in the Bag of Holding that would technically keep it on another plane of existence. + +- Unfortunately there doesn’t appear to be another solution and Squelch Divine Smites it, exorcising the ghost, causing the golden amulet to crumble to worthless dust. + +- Captain Garglinale finally reveals his “secret weapon” that he had in the cargo hold and the reason why he was so adamant that they not damage his ship; the unconscious Astral Elf Princess “Xedali”, daughter of Emperor Xavian of Zoraxian. + +- He says that he has been unable to revive her and Joffrey uses his healing magic to bring her back to consciousness. + +- They realise that all the other elves they’d met had been referring to an “empress” and that they must be embroiled in a civil war between the two factions. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 14 (Notes).md b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 14 (Notes).md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a434eaa --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 14 (Notes).md @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +18/03/2026 + +Error 404: Page not found. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 2.md b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 2.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9719933 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 2.md @@ -0,0 +1,39 @@ +22/02/2025 - ***Oh, Hi, Mark!*** + +[[Squelch]] “Wielder of the Whack-Splat” was a small and particularly ugly beast, green of skin, long of nose, possessor of several shinies; all things goblins usually aspire to. More so, he was a respected hero of the tribe, member of a prominent family, and he’d recently inherited the honour of wielding said family’s magical war hammer “Whack-Splat” (hence his title). Upon first grasping this potent contrivance of wood and gemstone, he felt his body surge with power, he was harder, better, faster and stronger. He’d found himself in a new nest within underground ruins, in a cave system beneath the Qumdrop Swamp. + +The change of scenery was eagerly anticipated as his chieftain had promised them he’d been in negotiations with a new god that they could worship within this very cave network. Until recently, his clan had made their home in a mountain range, in a cave at the base of Steep Run, greatest among equals of the peaks. Steep Run was a talon grazing the heavens, capped with snow, banded with trees and characteristically, steep.
The previous occupants of the ruins had been found slaughtered when they arrived, a band of kobolds that seemed to have been felled mercilessly to a one.

Shortly after their arrival in this new land, the two bugbears that originally directed their tribe had been mysteriously killed, their bodies strangely melted, but seemingly not burned. No matter, this was obviously their new god-queen’s will and it should not be questioned. Squelch was approached one day by the Chieftain and given a sacred task from the queen herself, to acquire new “subjects” from the nearby town and return them to her, alive, for her to have words with; This should be completed as quickly as possible or risk earning her disfavour. Packing his bags with rope, manacles, nets and all manner of other supplies, he set out through the swamp and then started the long trek up the Outlet, across the salt flats, towards reality.

Arriving on the border of the town, he came across a strange old man sitting on a rock, with eyes closed, lost in meditation. A large bird was perched on either of his shoulders; sizing him up, Squelch deemed this wizened old prune disinteresting and moved on. + +—— + +In the months since their previous ordeal, our intrepid hero and accompanying plebeians have experienced much. Bubba the “Race Traitor”, now shorter and less attractive, with hairy feet, has found himself in prison after making inappropriate Tiefling signs and speaking racial epithets that no longer suit someone of his... small stature. Initially he’d been only shunned, the good people of Seeg-Hell don’t take kindly to those of other races illegally entering their territory on the best of days. + +Before his incarceration, he had been wiling away his days fishing and repairing hand carts he’d taken from the local market. Autismus drank approximately five hundred beers, and when not inebriated, spent his days studying the many message boards scattered throughout Seeg-Hell, despite the upset they always seemed to cause him. It would become apparent he’d been reading too many messages when he’d occasionally become angry, accusing others of partaking in his hobby. + +Regardless of this, Joffrey was more than happy to furnish them with alcohol, at a generous discount of 5% off, as the most frequent patron of his new establishment, Sheep-Bone Brewery. This tap house seemed to spring from the ether, and although, new to brewing, Joffrey seemed to be a prodigy; everything he made turned to gold, no matter how dubious the ingredients. How peculiar…


Despite the tumultuous distraction of their daily lives, the trio held a sense of unease they were hesitant to discuss. Casting in the depths of their minds, they were unable to determine its source. Between periods of fervent alcoholism, even Autismus was dimly aware of his surroundings and fellow townsfolk having a flavour of unreality, it was as stark as shattered glass, a sudden change of perspective. Something was wrong with Seeg-Hell and its people, they were possessed of a vacancy that was akin to over-indulging in dental hygiene products, and Joffrey was resolved to unravel the mystery. + +—— + +On a particularly ordinary morning, while waiting for the local fried chicken stand to open for breakfast, Autismus was already several pints deep at his usual table in Sheep-Bone. He wiled away the time ranting and raving about strange entities from the sky, perhaps another plane, and dragon chemtrails turning the local amphibians homosexual; until a stubby green fellow entered. + +The filthy creature had been meandering around the town aimlessly until it had seen Sheep-Bone, the one venue that felt… real; there was a sense of life about it when everything else felt off. Joffrey saw the interloper’s beady eyes scanning his patrons and hurried over to have a word with him. Leaning down he enquired if the lower life form was lost and looking for its master, why else would a goblin be in Seeg-Hell ? (edited)


Autismus was far more charitable, simply happy to have an enthusiastic audience for his ramblings and dragged him over to his table. The grubby goblin proclaimed to know all about beings from the skies and encouraged him to follow him back to his tribe to meet them and his queen, a goddess. At this moment, a guard interrupted this meeting of minds with a loud hammering, fixing a new notice to the bar’s message board in the entryway. + +Reading this, Joffrey’s brow knit in concentration and a calculating look passed over his face as he glanced wistfully at the other pair. Shaking his head after a moment of introspection, he presented the scroll to Autismus and explained that Bubba was in prison and they should try and free him. He omitted the paragraph about a reward from the city watch for surrendering co-conspirators, his consideration of Bubba’s imperilled bar tab, as well as his long-term income from their continued patronage. + +Without further delay, they made their way over to the prison, arguing as they went about whether they would bust him out or, if Joffrey would represent him on trial and legally recover their friend. —— Bubba had felt better, he was in a cramped cell awaiting a trial that might result in his execution, but he hadn’t given up. Being experienced with somewhat extralegal activities, he was able to open the simple lock on the cell door with relative ease.


Sneakily skulking down the corridor, he came to a pair of rooms that held the guards equipment. In one, he found a full suit of guard’s armour and in the other, confusingly, a leather gimp suit complete with gag and mask. Equally enthused by either option, he was quickly disappointed that with his newfound squatness, he was unable to wear either garb. Strapping on the guard’s helmet as a compromise, he made his way to the entrance of the cellblock, just as he noticed a guard standing outside in discussion with Joffrey. + +Joffrey was wearing his friendliest smile and greeted the guard like an old friend, offering him a drink of ale from a flask and attempting to hold his attention. To his dismay, the barely sentient, green menace slipped around the side of the guard and attempted to whack and splat his head. Barely maintaining his composure as the hammer missed while the guard bent down to take a drink, he noticed Bubba pausing inside the entryway apparently having freed himself.

He didn’t have time to act and call off the rescue before wood met skull and the guard dropped to the ground with a wet thud. Bubba casually searched his pockets and lifted his change, seemingly unperturbed by the assault of a city official. Squelch insisted that they take the guard with them, and delivered him to his tribe. Joffrey took the helmet from the unconscious man and went inside the cell block to retrieve the rest of the remaining suit to help mask their exit. On their way out of town, they headed back to Bubba’s shack to recover his valuables that he had hidden and grabbed a hand cart to move the guard while they were there. Joffrey was awarded six “red sapphires” to cover Bubba’s drinks tab and further invest in his business; his eyes almost fell out of their sockets as he cooly accepted the gems. Bless Bubba and his lack of understanding of finance, all it took was a sagely nod and a promise to keep an eye out for any alchemical supplies on their travels, to seal the deal.

The businessman suddenly noticed the goblin’s hammer’s distinctive glowing gem and wanted to take a closer look. Try as he might however, between the primitive continually snatching it away and the poor light, he was unable to make any determinations but his interest was piqued. Short, angry and putrid noticed his interest and deftly suggested that if the nice man accompanied him back to his cave, that there would be shinies; that was all it took. + +—— + +Leaving town, the natives noticed that the Ivory Tower had gotten approximately 2 feet taller but paid no heed to it, and after an uneventful trip up the outlet and through the swamp, they arrived at their destination.

Delving through a cave, not so far from the location that they had the altercation with the strange sheep, they arrived at some under ground ruins and made note of the significant number of fresh kobold corpses. The chieftain met with Squelch, applauded his efforts and encouraged him to seek an immediate audience with the God Queen in her chamber deeper in the complex. Remembering the guard in the wheelbarrow, the team found him near death after his traumatic injury and rough journey, but Squelch revealed his calling as a Paladin and was able to yank him back from death’s jaws.


Making their way into a natural chamber at the rear of the ruins, they passed mounds of dead kobolds with unusual injuries and this was quite unsettling until Joffrey saw the other contents. There was an absolutely massive pile of gold, trinkets and other valuables, he could barely process this, then he looked up, saw the giant black dragon sitting on top of the treasure, and was immediately sobered. The God-Queen of the tribe of rock lickers was a fucking dragon, absentmindedly drooling acid that was visibly melting items under it. + +Wasting no time, the queen demanded a tribute from each person present. Squelch pulled a dirty shape from his pockets and gave it a quick wipe revealing a gold nugget. Joffrey retrieved 2 of the 6 “red sapphires” from his bag and offered that they matched the dragon’s beautiful eyes. Bubba was somewhat overwhelmed and not the brightest spark, he attempted to push his luck and bargain with the dragon; this saw him lose his malachites, gimp suit and various other items covering his faux pas. Autismus fished out a large gem the size of a fist and handed it over, the dragon tried to cover her mild shock at such a significant offering and pledged her favour to this odd little creature. + +After this formality, she told the group that she was having her new worshippers collect locals to send on an errand to recover a powerful relic. Somehow this artefact was being hidden from even a being as powerful as herself and she only had a vague idea of where it was, inside a cave on a cliff face, overlooking the Vitamin Sea. The queen pointed a claw at a scroll on the floor nearby and advised that this was the map; Bubba moved to retrieve it, momentarily entertained stealing from the dragon, then rapidly realised the enormity of that mistake and halted. (edited)

The parchment was a strange advertisement enticing the reader to seek a powerful artefact within the "Gauntlet of Doom". The dragon mentioned this was an obvious trap designed to lure in the gullible, but regardless this group was going, or being destroyed. Her majesty also confronted them about their memories, asking them if they could remember anything before recent times; They couldn’t and it was alluded to that this was related to the other strange occurrences in Seeg-Hell. + +Squelch basked in his Queen’s attention and requested a symbol from his god before his quest, she graciously agreed and extended a claw to touch his forehead. Searing agony encompassed him as acid burned away the flesh of his face, leaving a cauterised teardrop scar on his forehead that would serve as her sigil. Deciding not to anger numerous tonnes of muscle and hazardous materials, the group rapidly paid their respects and made to leave, noticing the guardsman being shoved towards the goblin prison. Shrugging, they gathered some meagre supplies off the dirt-dwellers and struck out towards the Vitamin Sea, although Squelch was incensed that he was unable to go back for the old man he’d met earlier in the other direction. —— Arriving at the cliff, Squelch expertly set a climbing piton and dropped a rope over the side - before promptly falling and barely catching himself in time to make it onto the ledge below. Autismus made a show of navigating the rope like a trapeze artist and the others made it down without issue. The cave was pitch-dark but the Tieflings had no issue seeing in the dark and Joffrey was able to magically illuminate the race traitors fishing rod to make up for his newly inferior eyes. They hadn’t gone far when a giant spider dropped from the ceiling in front of Squelch and the hardier, more expendable members struck it down. Hitting it, they realised it wasn’t actually real and it split open, enveloping them in laughing dust/gas that Bubba was unable to collect. (edited)

Proceding down the corridor, they encountered a noose hanging form the ceiling with a puzzling note attached that said “put fut her”. They dwelled on this for a time, Bubba tried tossing a coin through, then Joffrey convinced Autismus to put his foot in it after Squelch refused. Fortunately nothing happened and the rope simply dropped from the ceiling, onto the floor. The rope was made from human hair, but they gathered this up and while doing so, their greenest member heard sniggering, ratlike laughter from the darkness above. After encountering several pranks, Bubba assumes the way should be clear and strides forth, before the floor falls away beneath him and he barely catches himself to prevent being impaled on spikes below. Fortunately the gap isn’t too wide and the troupe are all able to make it across in short order. As the tunnel widens into a new cavern, the group are suddenly assailed by spears from rat-men that laugh and hastily leap out of sight off a cliff at the opposite end. Bubba gives chase and immediately becomes painfully tangled in a mass of fishing hooks, that he finds hanging from the ceiling all throughout the area; they’ve been tricked again. The rest of the group poke fun at Bubba as the irony of him being caught in fishing hooks when fishing is his main hobby, before Joffrey cuts him down. They find that the rat-men have fled down some zip lines that extend across a narrow chasm, half of which end in small tunnels in the rock face. Squelch wastes no time crossing but Bubba is distracted by the underground river at the bottom of the chasm and decides to cast his line in and see if there are any fish. The line goes taut and he ironically accurately remarks he’s caught a monster, as a large Ogre-like creature breaks the surface, furiously looking up at who has punctured it. Realising they can’t reach their prey, the aquatic abomination tears the line in half and returns to the depths.

After a second fishing related embarrassment within 5 minutes, the team crosses the chasm and pass through the tunnel on the other side. They arrive at an approximately ten foot high wall that blocks their path, but there are ladders moulded into the stone work on their side and they climb up to see what is on the other side. They spy a seemingly empty room with a door on the other side that is covered in runes and dials that they can’t make out from the distance. Without much thought they hop down and approach the door, quickly ascertaining it is covered in a riddle: “Spelled forwards its a name, spelled backwards is what you do with curtains, a blank page or bow.”. At the briefest glance, Joffrey immediately proclaims the answer is Ward/Draw, praises his own towering intellect and rotates the dials into position, opening the door. It’s at this moment that Squelch looks back and notices that on this side on the wall, under a wooden overhang, are two brownish, perhaps rust coloured monsters…. PTSD grips Joffrey as he remembers his near-death experience with rust monsters and he scrambles through the portal, beckoning through the others as he scrambles the dials. They charge through and slam the door behind them, but as it’s closing, Squelch looks back and notices that the monsters haven’t moved, they seem to be dead or similar to the spider, not real. Moving on in search of the rat men, they come to a worked stone chamber with a tiled floor; the tiles seem to be coloured in an alternating pattern like a chess board. Suspicious of traps, Squelch bangs several tiles with the Whack-Splat while Joffrey caresses the entire floor with his mage hand, but nothing happens. Bubba experimentally moves forwards, a strange voice enters his mind and states “1”, confused he takes another step and is promptly electrocuted, causing himself some minor grievance.

Joffrey attempts to move to the same initial square, hears the voice as well, then moves diagonally; he chuckles at his own genius as he hears the voice again, this time state “4” but otherwise nothing happens. His genius may generally be so tremendous that it creates its own gravity, but today on his next step, it ended in him being far more violently electrocuted than bubba. Pausing, they took stock of the situation and Joffrey concluded that it was best for a single person to strike a path through the puzzle and for the others to follow, to minimise their injuries. + +In agreeance, Squelch spends a not insignificant amount of time being electrocuted before determining the pattern and making it near the exit before succumbing. Bubba is able to get him back on his feet with a potion and they all make their way through the doorway. They come to a staircase leading upwards and the surroundings are becoming increasingly refined, with more worked stone and elaborate embellishments. On the face of each stair are words, in sequence, going up the stairs; the passage reads: “it seems every second or third step I take away, fate is there without a doubt to trap my course”

Bubba tests the stairs and sure enough, is electrocuted in the process of determining the correct sequence of safe steps. At the top of the stairs is a room containing 3 weapons hanging on different walls with a plaque below them and a strange looking door. Looking at the weapons, the plaques read:
Pa’s Spear “Gutsticker” Pa’s Gauntlet “Fist of Pain” Pa’s Sword “Islet’s Laughter” (edited)

Attempts to open the door are met with a psychic message “not without the password” and the door cannot be opened by mundane means. After some deliberation, they realise that Pa’s Sword is “password”, the correct phrase is “let’s slaughter” and the door opens. On the other side of this barrier is an elaborate room containing 4 magical fires, one in each corner, with an inanimate skeleton standing in front of them. In the centre of the room is a large, ornate mirror approximately 8 feet high. Looking at the skeletons, it’s noted that they have no eyes, the lower half of their faces have features that dissolve into a smooth head. Squelch cast’s divine sense on the undead but doesn’t sense any evil presences or signs of life. Bubba perceives some slits around the doorway and theorises that if they enter the room, it will seal shut behind them. After some fussing with the mechanism, there is a clunk, he thinks he’s disabled it and ushers the group through. Entering the room, they brace themselves but nothing happens and the door remains open. Being connoisseurs of shiny objects, Squelch and Joffrey study the mirror and see that the reflection does not match reality, it features mounds of gold and riches that don’t exist in the real world. Joffrey believes this might be some kind of portal and attempts to step through, running into the glass with a thud and then hearing a strange rustling sound around the room. (edited)


The skeletons awaken and attack the party, Autismus can’t remember any of his spells and flails wildly with a sword, managing to somehow destroy 2 of them single handedly. Joffrey blasts another apart with a couple thunder waves, scattering bones and debris around the room and Squelch goes down after defeating the third. Autismus and Bubba flank the remaining skeleton whilst Joffrey rushes to help the stunted cucumber back to his feet; however, as he arrives, he notices the Whack-Splat undefended on the ground next to him.

His eyes fill with desire and a shadow passes behind them as he places his hands around Squelch’s throat and begins to squeeze, but he remembers himself and casts a healing spell without anyone noticing his lapse. + +*To be continued.* \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 3.md b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 3.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..cbeafb7 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 3.md @@ -0,0 +1,150 @@ +15/03/2025 - ***Are we the baddies ?*** + +Time seemed to stand still, it was as though an entire week had passed, as Joffrey hauled Squelch to his feet and they began to take stock of the aftermath of their encounter. Studying the remains of the skeletal creatures that had attacked them, they determined that, oddly, they were comprised of painted and polished wood, rather than bone. + +As the only remaining feature of note in the room, the group gathered around the magic mirror once more, and gazed at the ample riches within. Autismus and Joffrey could feel the arcane energies permeating it, and agreed it was a powerful magical mechanism that seemed to need a phrase to trigger it. + +They went over the inscription on the frame above the glass and tried to decipher some meaning from it. Being a literary scholar, familiar with nuance and wordplay, Joffrey realised that the skeletons were all missing their eyes and re-wrote the verse without the letter “I”.

“Transportus!” He boomed, powerful vocalist’s voice reverberating around the chamber, and the mirror’s surface shimmered, drawing them in visually, and physically. + +Now standing in the mirror universe, they took in the piles of coins and various other treasures scattered around the perimeter. + +Joffrey was drawn to a pile of books, feeling that any coins Autismus and Bubba collected, would likely end up in his bar’s strongbox inside a week anyway. Bubba, being a physical fellow, was drawn to several daggers and a mace adorning one of the walls, likewise ignoring the coins. Autismus scrabbled greedily to the coins, trying to stuff them in his pockets, amusingly threatened by Joffrey.
 +He disturbed more than the coins with his grubby hands, the room started the thrum and every item therein began to move of its own accord. A whirlpool of wealth began to form, to his disbelief, and before his eyes a relatively small doubloon dragon formed. + +With gold coins for scales, glinting gemstones for eyes and daggers for teeth, it roared and spewed forth a hail of copper coins, injuring everyone other than Joffrey. + +(Foolish creature should have known that coins were his preferred terrain.) + +After the initial surprise, the draconic disturbance took several hits and treasure sloughed off its body with each one, however, it was soon attracted and re-attached.
 +Cobbling together several of its braincells, the goblin rushed into the fray, hammer held high, unwittingly, directly into the line of friendly fire. It was promptly flung past the dragon, landing unceremoniously on its face, after being rocked by a thunder wave. + +The brief, but frenetic clash, ended with Autismus firing a torrent of magic missiles into the creature, blasting it apart into its constituent components. +
Conspicuously upright in the mass of money was an unusual sword, with a dragon’s head-shaped hilt, its jaws open, spewing forth the metal flames of the blade. Autismus immediately seized it and felt the power radiating from it, pronouncing that it was a powerful artefact, likely what they’d been sent to find.

The coins were vacuumed up, along with 16 gemstones, into the Bag of Holding, and Bubba collected his weapons.

“Transportus!” Joffrey intoned once more, and the team made their way back through “The Gauntlet of Doom”, sadly unable to locate the rat men that had initially vexed them. + +They emerged onto the cliff-face overlooking the Vitamin Sea once more, the last rays of golden sunlight fading as they scaled it, before settling down to camp. Autismus solely remained awake into the night, finally retiring at 4am, after learning all he could about the blade. + +Come morning, after breaking down the camp, and preparing to set off back to the Qumdrop Swamp, to see the Queen, they were startled to hear beating wings overhead. + +A black, winged shape descended from the clouds, and for a moment it was thought that the Queen herself had arrived to collect her bounty. However, it was a far less impressive creature, merely the size of a horse, although seemingly related. + +The newcomer identified himself as Solkanar, the son of her majesty, and remarked on the pathetic lower creatures before him. Joffrey moved next to him and agreed, staring at the filthy race traitor and their goblin companion. + +He asked if they had been successful in their quest and received confirmation before announcing that Squelch would be sent back to his mother with a tribute. + +Joffrey retrieved what he estimated was generous compensation, being the largest number of coins, and proceeded to pour 2000 copper coins over Squelch. In addition he granted him 2 mid-range gem stones to offer to her majesty as tribute. + +Once Squelch had moved off, on his way back to his cave, Solkanar asked to see the relic-weapon that they had retrieved. He looked it over, avarice written across his features, and told the group they could keep it for now, but it was to be their secret and they were not to tell his mother about it. + +Autismus had concluded, after his night of intense study, that the sword’s power was forming the treasure dragon they had seen earlier. The wielder could drive it into their stored treasure and issue a command word that would set it to guard it from all others; if disturbed, it would form the treasure into a proportionally sized dragon. + +Their rude, ebony scaled, interloper announced that he had a new mission for them, once Squelch was out of earshot. They were to travel to Steep Run and exterminate all of the remaining goblins that were once of his clan. He clarified that when the clan had emigrated, they left all of their weakest behind; that being the women, children and any who refused to worship the Queen. + +Bubba and Joffrey were taken aback, both having misgivings of doing something so heinously evil however, Autismus with his demonic aura and substance abused mind, gleefully agreed. + +Joffrey gazed around the group, meeting each of their eyes in turn and asked “Are we the baddies ?”, to which Solkanar scoffed and advised that it was surely good to kill “evil” creatures. They had refused to follow their clan and worship their goddess, so surely they were deserving of a most painful death. + +Joffrey remained unconvinced, despite Autismus’ derision and mockery of his morality, and silently resolved to destroy this whelp and save the village at any cost. + +Well… except a financial cost. + +Solkanar calculated that the journey would only take around half a day, but when queried, clarified it would only take HIM half a day; For lesser beings that couldn’t fly, it would take several days on foot. Bubba asked if he could fly them there and he laughed heartily as he took to he sky, rapidly fading into the distance. + +The journey ahead would be difficult, and would test all of their skills to their limits. +Autismus decided to rouse them with some encouraging words, but ultimately darkened everyone’s mood, leading them to plod along unproductively. + +Bubba’s extensive experience in the wilds proved useful, he soon found them a game trail that made their passage easier, making up for lost time. As they started to make better progress, the mood lightened and Joffrey began to play a continuous rendition of “500 Miles”. It was a song he’d picked up from a foreign traveller, that he proudly touted as the best travelling song, and it hastened their steps. + +They ate up the miles and eventually arrived at a river that was too wide and deep to wade, they would need to find another way across. Autismus pondered this for a time and decided to perform an interpretive dance and make some indigenous music; what effect this was intended to have was anyone’s guess. + +Bubba watched for a few seconds, furrowed his brow, then pointed to the clear path of stones across the water, that they easily traversed. + +After walking for several more hours, they came to the base of a steep cliff, it seemed to be insurmountable, but backtracking and navigating around it would take a few hours. Joffrey knew it would be hazardous to climb and tried to convince the others that it wouldn’t take very long to find another route. + +He wasn’t very convincing, the others becoming more tense and agitated as the plodded off into the undergrowth once again. + +The groups angst attracted unwanted attention, they were approaching the base of Steep Run and the forest soon gave way to rocky ground with sparse vegetation. As they broke the tree line, they were faced with a small band of three, alert and snarling yetis. + +In a flash, two of them launched themselves at Bubba, goring and gouging him, then tearing the fishhooks out of his armour as they became tangled in their fur. Joffrey appeared at his side and gave him a healing and encouraging pat to the backside as things began to look grim. + +Autismus was similarly beset upon, he fought with tremendous violence and fire, bringing the full brunt of his trifling heritage to bear, immolating his attacker. As a coup de grâce, he sent a final volley of magic missiles into his genitals, exploding them as he jabbered with malignant glee. + +Meanwhile, Joffrey managed to knock one of the yetis back with a thunder wave, whilst Bubba killed the other. + +High on violence, Autismus rushed the remaining yeti and cast Burning Hands on it, although, it wasn’t very effective, merely warming the surrounding air. + +“Cunt!” Boomed Joffrey, voice laced with arcane intent as he pointed aggressively at the survivor.

The yeti, unfazed, instead died to a sharp crack to the skull from Bubba’s fishing rod. + +Taking stock of the situation after the frenzied exchange, they found a necklace made of teeth, that Bubba held on to, and they began to harvest what they could from the corpses. + +Alchemically minded, the fisherman collected a vial of blood for concoctions, and some fur for a beanie; meanwhile the businessman took his pound of flesh to create a yeti-skin cloak for the coming cold. + +Observing the other two, the simple deviant attempted to ape them, collecting some hide that he fashioned into a crude brazier of poor quality. He proceeded to collect the remaining, unexploded genitals and, noticing the female of the trio was pregnant, a foetus that he immediately consumed, claiming it had health benefits. + +After this disturbing interlude, they turned in for the night, preparing for the final, short leg of their journey. + Early in the morning they arrived at the base of Steep Run, and spied a rough wooden palisade in the distance. From their vantage point, they could see that there were a couple of buildings inside including, strangely, a coastal lighthouse, further up the mountain side. + +It’s construction clashed with the local wooden dwellings, clearly not of goblin design, and more perplexingly, it emitted a green light that washed over the surrounds. + +Moving towards their goal, they came to a signed fork in the road; one way read “summit” in common, the other “Kingston” in goblinese fortunately, that Bubba could read. + +Approaching the seemingly abandoned gatehouse, Joffrey magically amplified his flute as he continued playing, attempting to attract attention. Concerningly, no one applauded him, or gave any form of response at all. + +Overhead, they saw the now-familiar, black, equine equivalent, form of Solkanar, lazily circling the area. + +Making their way through the gate, they note that there doesn’t appear to be anyone active in the camp, other than a single goblin moaning on the ground. Cautiously approaching, it becomes clear that it isn’t a trap and it’s obviously deathly ill, with pale skin and a drained look. + +Upon inspection, having had to check the vitals of a number of enthusiastic bar patrons, Joffrey believes that it’s either poison, or some magic voodoo shit. The worldly alchemist agreed, in his medical opinion, that it was indeed, some magic voodoo shit and prescribed a healing potion. + +Imbibing the fluid, the goblin sputtered, shook, then expired; the treatment was successful. + +Being unhelpful for a couple of days had really built up an appetite, and the dragon joined them, asking them if they intended to eat the corpse. He had second thoughts about eating it, seeing its condition and remarked that this seemed to be related to the lighthouse; it had a necromantic aura that he could sense. + +Autismus attempted to goad Solkanar into a display of his capabilities, and he obliged by breathing acid over a nearby dwelling. The wall disintegrated almost immediately and there were pleas from within as a number of similarly sickly goblins were melted alive.

Sniggering, the degenerate attempted to hi-five the war criminal and came into contact with his acid-imbued scales, burning the skin off of his hand, to the dragon’s amusement. + +Joffrey was dismayed by this display and walked up the slope towards the lighthouse, determined to discover what was going on. The others joined him shortly after, and made their way to the locked entrance of the tower.

The fisherman inspected the exterior and found a trigger mechanism that he was not able to easily disarm. Tiefstein waved the others back, moved around the wall from the door and then used his mage hand to attempt to open it. A torrent of crossbow bolts spewed forth from the opening, and turned the ground into a pincushion, where they’d been standing moments earlier. + +Walking into the gloom within, Bubba appeared to meld with the shadows in the darkest regions of the space. He saw a few boxes, a central spiral staircase, some maps pinned to a table on the far side of the room, and a small corpse on the ground. Looking closer, there was a shape hanging in the air above it, it was a ghost that resembled the body below it. + +He moved back to the doorway and informed the others of what lay within, and Autismus began rummaging in his pockets, pulling out various knick-knacks and ingredients. Joffrey watched him intently as he pried some copper wire from the door mechanism and then began winding it in his hands, mumbling incoherently and reading scrawled notes. + +“Anyway” Becoming impatient with what he perceived as unnecessary magic, to communicate with the phantom, only several meters away, he barged past and called out to it instead. +The spectre shrieked and immediately lunged at the financier, failing to make contact with its frenzied blows. + +Thunder rocked the building as Joffrey brought his magic to bear, but it impotently passed through the phantasm. Magic missiles began to pepper it from across the room, to far greater effect as it was visibly diminished. + +Sensing blood in the water, Bubba lashed out with his fishing rod however, this too, proved ineffective and passed through it. + +The Gnome-longer living gathered itself, and touched Joffrey on the chest, snuffing out his life like a candle, his eyes faded as he crumpled to the ground. + +It was at this moment that they all noticed the dragon, calmly sitting at the back of the room in a chair, intently observing them, as he preferred to watch. + +Violent tendencies piqued, Von Autingler rushed forwards, hands outstretched and promptly turned half the room into a bonfire; minimally disturbing the ghost, but immolating it’s corpse’s hat. + +Delivering a potion to Joffrey, Bubba was able to banish the entity with some further cracks of his pole, to the dragon’s pleasure. Checking the corpse of the gnome, he found it too, was sickly in life and it didn’t seem to be carry anything of value in death. + +Recovering, Tiefstein inspected the maps on the table and found that they were of the coastal area of the Vitamin Sea, presumably where this lighthouse came from, and he collected them. + +Moving upstairs, they found an equipment room with three closets, chests and a smattering of tools and boxes arranged around the circumference. Nosing around the obvious items, a number of basic materials and implements were collected, including a novel miniature socket set and wrench. + +Choosing a closet each, they started to approach them; Bubba unwittingly opened his first and was beset upon by a ghoul. Matching undead sprang from the other two, attacking the remaining party members. + +Another rap of thunder and another disappointing result, as Joffrey tangled with his rotten aggressor. + +Uncharacteristically, Autismus intelligently set his opponent, and its confines on fire, before wrestling the door shut; He was experienced with ovens. + +Bubba fought vigorously with his ghoul, beating it back, but was distracted by the arcane profanities being screamed from across the room. Joffrey attempted to close the door on his as well, acknowledging the good idea, to poor results as he was overpowered. + +Having a moment of peace, Autismus flung a magic missile at Bubba’s ghoul, re-killing it. + +Bubba attempted to help Joffrey and whip his assailant but missed it, just as Von Autingler’s pried its way out of the closet and gouged the distracted deviant. Austismus felt his skin burn where he was struck, worried he may be infected, but it didn’t take hold. + +Joffrey continued screaming and shouting obscenities at his ghoul, while floundering to get the door shut, unproductively. Bubba miraculously managed to land a killing blow, around the tumult of flailing limbs and curses.

The remaining ghoul traded blows with the oven enthusiast, taking a dagger to the chest while gouging chunks of tiefling with its claws. This time the infection took hold and Autismus collapsed, paralysed, to the floor, at the mercy of his attacker. + +“Cunt!” Bellowed Joffrey, and the undead was visibly rocked, deeply offended by his reprimand, just prior to being gifted to the ground by Bubba. + +Approaching Autismus, Joffrey patted him down, definitely checking him for injuries, and confirmed that the sword was ok. Again he was torn and caressed the immaculately carved metal with his eyes before abruptly standing up, and helping the recovering wounded to his feet. + +The team, exhausted from their harrowing experience so far, decided to take a brief break and collect themselves, before they continued further up. + +*To be continued.* + diff --git a/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 4.md b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 4.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..41b180c --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 4.md @@ -0,0 +1,285 @@ +22/03/2025 - ***Orange man bad*** + +Collecting themselves after their respite, the clan moved to venture higher into the lighthouse, dreading what they might find. Boots thudded on stone steps, deafening in the silence as they ascended to the third floor. Cautiously, they scanned the room before leaving the relative safety of the stairwell.

Perceptive eyes piercing the gloom, Joffrey noted a pair of runic inscriptions laid out in squares that adorned the floor. Straining his magical senses, he intuited that these were intended to be arcane prisons that would trap any entity entering them. + +They were fortunately unoccupied and after playfully cajoling Autismus to enter one as a test, they finished a brief sweep of the room before returning to their ascent. + +In their haste, they proceeded directly to the fourth floor and entered a large, round chamber at the pinnacle of the building. In the centre of the room inside a glass enclosure, floated a large, glowing, green gem that previously would have served as the beacon. + +Iron bands, covered in runes that pulsed and flickered, encapsulated the gemstone and attached it to arcane mechanisms in the floor and ceiling.

Autismus brandished his favoured pair of yeti testicles in front of him like a lantern and observed them as he moved hesitantly towards the crystal. As he got closer to the glass, they began to visibly shrivel when exposed to the ambient power washing off of the crystal. + +In a rare moment of lucidity and scientific acumen, he determined based on his observations, this energy field was necromantic and drawing life-force in like a black hole. + +Testing the double glass doors on the side of the enclosure, he found them to be magically locked and beyond his capacity to open. + +As he leaned forwards inspecting the lock, suddenly he was attacked by a shadow that passed through the glass in front of him. At its touch, his strength was visibly drained and he appeared to grow feeble. + +Being alerted by this, Joffrey had just enough time to detect his attacker and ducked, as it swooped from the substance of the wall and vanished again. Likewise, Bubba dodged yet another and with his honed ranger’s senses, he was able to lock on to the subtle distortion in the air.

Mystically marking it, he was able to land a hit with his dart that preceded a savage blow from his rod that banished the apparition. + +Emboldened as they gained traction in this uncertain situation, Joffrey tried casting Thunderwave to negligible effect. He found that the creatures were resistant to thunder damage and fortunately, he didn’t destroy the glass or their hearing. + +Autismus lashed out aggressively with fire magic that gravely injured his Shadow, as it in turn wounded Bubba, sapping his strength. + +Things turned desperate as Joffrey was rent with ghostly talons and robbed of his strength as well. He summoned every last screed of his Tiefling heritage and rebuked his attacker, obliterating it in a fiery explosion. + +As the frantic exchange continued, the hair on their arms stood on end from a growing charge in the air. A pair of cacophonous waves of energy rose through the tower, culminating at the radiant gemstone. Infused momentarily with a blinding degree of power, there was a sudden release as it sent a confined beam vaguely south, sundering the clouded sky. + +Although the majority had left, the gem still glowed brighter than before; the remaining Shade appeared to be bolstered by this. + +Desperately slashing and sending torrents of magic into it, the group was unable to bring it down before it could strike again. It moved to tear the deranged sorcerer to pieces, ethereal claws raking the air in vain before Bubba struck true and dispersed it as well. + +They slumped limply to the ground, panting and exhausted, as their fearless leader attempted to heal himself and with the Fisherman’s aid, was fully restored. + +Having some breathing room to investigate the locked door properly, all 3 of them attempted to prise the doors loose but, in their weakened state, were unable to.

“Fuck it, it can’t be stuck if it’s dust!” metal and glass shards tinkled on stone as a frustrated Tiefstein, fearing further attacks, reduced the door to atoms with a blast of thunder. + +Autismus hastily threw his spare testicles through the door and watched in dismay as they ticked and crackled faster and faster, before they were left a husk. + +Tiefstein stepped past and shrewdly examined the runes and mechanism on the floor within. He concluded that he could reverse the effects of the gem and was confident the lower section was for teleportation. + +Blank looks met him as he asked the others if he should enact his plan and he privately wondered if he should be questioning the help. + +Before there could be further mentally stimulating debate, he deftly made a number of small adjustments to the runes and sent an activating charge into the construct.

The crystal turned from emerald to blue-sapphire, bathing them in an azure glow as energy tumbled in reverse down the structure, into the village outside. + +Warmth filled their bodies as their wounds closed, strength returned and the expended crystal reverted to its natural, inert state. + +Remembering the useless dragon, the philanthropist opened the staircase hatch and with magically enhanced vocals attempted to summon him, but was met with silence. + +Shaking his head, Joffrey smiled as he peered out the window and began to see movement down in the village, he’d done it, he’d saved the goblins, he was a genius. + +Joy turned to confusion and in turn to dread, as the figures approaching the building resolved into goblinoid ghouls, zombies and several undead bugbears. + +“Well that isn’t quite right…” + +The others looked at him questioningly as he quickly made his way into the enclosure and started to activate the teleportation mechanism. He assured that them that everything was fine, the mission was successful and then dragged them onto the platform. +His heart surely bled that Solkanar hadn’t made it and would likely be torn to shreds by the undead. He certainly didn’t smile as he vanished with a faint “pop” of collapsing air. + +——— + +Squelch came-to in a dimly lit chamber, the last thing he could remember was that he had left the others to make his way back to the swamp before … nothing. + +His head throbbed as he tried to make sense of his predicament; He tried to sit up and found he was immobile, head and body tightly secured despite his efforts. +Distorted vision slowly resolved into clarity as he gazed at what little he could see of his surroundings. + +A complex of pipes and tubes of varying sizes and materials adorned the ceiling like an orderly overgrowth of jungle vines. Fluids visibly moved through some of the transparent sections but what they were, he couldn’t say. + +In front of him on the far side of the room, he could see an alcove in the wall containing a modest amount of magical script. To the right of this, was what seemed to be a throne equipped with a dome-like apparatus that would rest above an occupants head; A bristling array of cables and tubes snaked out of it, into its surrounds. + +Within his narrow cone of reality was a table with a goblin laying atop it. They were deceased and searching its features, Squelch was at least partially relieved not to recognise them. Above the corpse was a complicated amalgam of metal claws and implements that surrounded its head, and within it was a softly glowing gem. He recognised this as being remarkably similar to the twin that studded his hammer. + +As he struggled to come to terms with this disturbing environment, his thoughts were interrupted by a bright flash from the alcove. Once the stars left his eyes, he was met with the familiar sight of his compatriots.

A bemused voice floated through the gloom from somewhere behind him, accompanied by a faint clink of porcelain. “I’ve been expecting you” it said.

Joffrey could see past the odious green stain on the seat that was Squelch to the voice’s owner, a wizened old male gnome calmly sipping tea. He sat in a corner at a desk bedecked with documents, ornaments and curios. Bookshelves covered the wall from desktop to ceiling, fit to burst with further books, papers and knick-knacks. + +The unusual little man was wearing what could best be describes as gothic regalia; a visual assault of onyx and purple fabric, polished skull pendants and accessories. + +Momentarily transfixed by this stunted man-child dressed like a moody, teenaged human, the businessman also spied a keg robot in the opposite corner and a trio of motionless ghouls. + +“What are you doing here ?” Came the voice again as the gnome, announcing himself as ‘Hoover’, studied the intruders. + +Sensing the atmosphere of danger that permeated the space and the calm confidence of the wee lad, Joffrey produced his most vibrant smile and went to work. + +He was almost distracted by the sight of the Whack-Splat embedded in the apparatus above Squelch’s head, seemingly jury rigged as a power source as he spoke. + +“We have heard tell of your most impressive mastery of all things sorcerous and scientific, we wish to hear more of your wisdom and possibly apprentice ourselves.” He crooned. + +“What use have I of apprentices, I am more than capable of manifesting everything I need, you would only inconvenience me.” Hoover responded, beginning to lose interest and patience. + +“What if I told you I knew of another place where I found glowing gems such as these? I could show you where my lab is and how to power them, I’m something of a scientist myself” Confidently boasted the tycoon.
 +Hoover was not amused and explained that he could create the gems at will with magic, and he was already an expert at storing energy inside of them.

He had lost patience and was beginning to stand as there was another flash of light in the alcove and a horse-sized problem emerged.
 +“What the fuck is going on in here and what did you idiots do back there ?” The ebony scaled cretin squawked as he ran his eyes around the room, settling on the insubstantial loose-leaf enthusiast. + +“YOU!” He roared, charging past the group as he erupted acidic bile over his target and the wider area of his tome collection. + +It was a jarring display of power by the young dragon that turned the desk, shelves and books into a puddle in an instant. However, as the fluid drained to the floor, Hoover stood surprised but unharmed within a magic barrier he’d reflexively conjured.
 +In the commotion, Autismus rushed forwards and freed Squelch from his restraints, enthusiastically pocketing the many-segmented “ball gag” he pulled from his throat. + +Hoover recovered from his initial shock and addressed Solkanar through the barrier. “Your mother has obviously decided to take action against us, finally. Well, we’ll see how well that goes for her” before he vanished gothically, in a puff of hairspray scented smoke. + +Groaning, the undead goblins and gnome roused themselves and lurched forwards. The nearest belted Autismus for significant damage while the others scrabbled at him ineffectually. + +There was a nostalgic jingle of activation as the dormant keg awoke and clanked into position, showering the combatants in the middle of the room with alcohol. + +Von Autingler and his gimped green companion were immediately ravaged by the toxic nature of the liquid, becoming poisoned. Solkanar was fine, he was a fucking dragon. + +Squelch roughly tore his hammer free of its housing, visibly empowered once again as he gripped it. Despite this, he fruitlessly swung at the robot as his head cleared from the poison’s effects, retreating again to collect himself. + +Bubba rushed one of the zombies, seeing the adult-toy collector in danger, and flung his dart at it before following up with his rod of ruin, staggering it. + +A fraction slower, the would-be scientist repositioned and his pelvis erupted with a mightier storm than usual, rocking the room. An airborne collection of body parts was all that remained of one of the undead, whilst the others were injured but held their ground. + +In the calamity of battle, Solkanar was an eye of calm as he sniffed the ground where the mid life crisis had stood previously. The keg-on-legs approached him and he tapped its crown with a talon absent-mindedly as he ruminated, deactivating it. + +Regaining his focus after enjoying the rough treatment, Autismus sent a wave of flames over the remaining two corpses, forgetting half the room was covered in flammable liquid. Fortunately while they caught fire, he didn’t end up in an oven and the room didn’t explode, which was a pleasant surprise for the rest of the party. + +Blinded by the conflagration, the undead flailed at Von Autingler ineffectually, the tiny paladin approaching unseen. Squelch caved in the breast bone of one of them with a single blow, gods he was strong, but it started to rise again and he was forced to smite it. + +The fisherman hit the other shambler at the same time, it similarly hit the deck and he thought he’d finished it, but it groaned and rose once more. + +Expending his final pelvic thrust, Joffrey hit the surviving deadite, knocking it to the ground, before it lurched upright yet again.

“It gets knocked down, but it gets up again, we’re never gonna keep it down!” He sputtered in frustration. + +Without elaborating, the dragon turned, rushed to the alcove and teleported out of the room, knocking a nearby chair as he went. + +The apparatus on top of the chair swung down and contacted the head of the unnoticed, large undead occupant, shocking it. The being was infused with power as the gem stone was drained and it started to tear its way free of the restraints. + +Seeing the latest and largest threat emerging, Autismus lobbed a vicious hail of missiles at it that would have felled a lesser creature. Tall, dark, and deadsome was enraged by this and snapped his manacles as he stood, threateningly. + +Distracted by the newcomer, Tiefstein was gouged horrifically by it’s smaller brother and cried out in agony as he clung on to life by a thread. + +Big boy underestimated the speed of the small goblin, as it evaded his attacks before belting him in the head with a hammer, ethereal armour suddenly appearing around it. + +Lures and hooks raked the smaller foe and it toppled over, there was a brief moment of triumph before it lumbered up a third time. “Tub thumper!” Bubba cursed at it. + +Although drained and ragged, Joffrey bravely stepped toe to toe with the greater threat, decorative daggers a whirlwind of steel in his hands. Well, more of a stiff breeze as they wafted pathetically into the beast, thunking off its hide. Perhaps he should try the pointy bit next time ? Yes, he’d seen people do that. + +His brief aside was interrupted by his target bursting into flames as it continued to rain clumsy blows down at its knee height opponent, who was unable to get in close to hit. + +The angler and Chumbawumba continued their titanic battle, the living being worn down by relentless undead. + +Remembering his stage-combat training, the performer attempted to drive his daggers into the zombie, delivering a singular perfect thrust. However, being unused to the resistance of knives that didn’t collapse on contact, barely scratched it. + +In a puff of smoke, the air was soon filled with the angry cries of a frustrated lizard; Solkanar had returned after failing to catch the edgy necromancer. He vented his anger on the bloated cadaver, tearing massive chunks of flesh off its frame with his clawed feet. + +This display of physical power was all the more terrifying coming from a creature rarely more animate than his favourite chair. + +More fire engulfed the corpse from behind as it turned to face Solkanar, slack jaw grumbling and moaning while its meaty fist thudded into the dragons thick hide. + +With a nervous glance over his shoulder at the remembered mechanical, Squelch was relieved to see it hadn’t re-awoken in the mayhem. He tightened his grip on his weapon, winding up every last ounce of strength, eyes aglow as he clobbered the meat mannequin for all he was worth, divine wrath annihilating it. + +Reduced to animalistic frenzy, Bubba finally knocked his partner down, and to his relief, he didn’t get up again. + +Exhausted, the party took a moment to rest as the danger seemed to have passed, with the robot remaining out of action, eyes now glowing blue with white text on them. + +Joffrey blamed his blades for his failure and swore they didn’t work properly. He traded Bubba a handsome gem for his masterwork pair, in turn tossing the defective ones to the green-skin in disgust. + +Inspecting his new treasures, he noted they had small golden hourglass-like symbols engraved into the hilts, a mark of their quality. Yes, he was sure these ones would just-work. + +Moving to the ravaged shelves, the ranger discovered a magical scroll of Frost Giant’s Strength that had survived the acid. + +Cursing himself for forgetting to check the corpses they had encountered in the lighthouse, Tiefstein took great pains to thoroughly search the bodies. For his trouble, he was rewarded with a number of potions; some of healing, necrotic resist and water breathing. + +Alongside this, he recovered some alchemical materials that he handed off to Bubba, who finished brewing a potion of lesser restoration. + +Heaving the large corpse over, he realised it was wearing a cloak that was several sizes too small. Carefully removing it, remarking on the tangible magic, he determined that it was a Cloak of the Manta Ray, granting the wearer breath and swift movement underwater. + +With severe reluctance, he gave this wealth to his aquatically aligned companion, acknowledging it would serve him better. + +Autismus greedily snatched up a pair of glowing gems, shoving them down his pants and pointed out the 16 others that were made of worthless glass.

“They aren’t worthless glass, they are clear sapphires” Joffrey corrected him “and someone will pay handsomely for them once I impress upon them their rarity.” He added slyly. + +Investigating the room further, they finally came to the throne by the alcove that featured a dome-shaped apparatus above the headboard. There were two conspicuous recesses in the wall above it, perfectly sized for a pair of glowing gemstones. With a pointed look at Autismus, Joffrey wondered aloud if someone might have found something that would suit these cavities. Shiftily, the primitive produced his prizes and was directed to install them and take a seat as the reward for finding them. + +He reluctantly sat down and pulled the dome down over his head, wincing in anticipation of pain. + +His mind was altered and he began to have a vivid hallucination, although this wasn’t a foreign experience to him. + +In the vision he had a birds-eye view of the lighthouse and the surrounding area; with some experimentation, he realised he could even move his perspective and focus on small details. Immediately he began attempting to to find a female to inspect, with his perverted mind working itself to a fevered pitch in his excitement.

Externally, the others saw him writhing in the chair, gesturing lewdly and emitting a deviant “ha-haw-haw” noise as a depraved grin painted his features. + +Minute attention span wearing thin and struggling to master the controls, he made a vain attempt to see their current location, then removed himself from the machine. + +Seeing the device remained powered, the bard settled himself in and felt his consciousness expand, seeing the surrounds of the village. + +Experimenting, he focused his thoughts on Seeg-Hell and his magical sight migrated to the town where he saw people moving around. As he moved closer, he was disgusted to see that all of the tieflings had been replaced by halflings; an entire people turned race traitor. + +Superior, pure-blooded mental faculties were brought to bear and he sensed he could do more than move his view, and bent reality itself to his iron-clad will. + +The roomed thrummed with power and the crystals by the throne dimmed as there was a rhythmic, pulsing warble that preceded a thud, then silence. + +Lifting the device from his head, the others questioned him about what had happened and he advised them that they were now standing on his property and had best behave. + +Dispelling the further confusion this caused the simpletons, he explained that he’d moved the lighthouse itself to safety on the site of his bar, and this was their new home. + +(Well, it was his new establishment on his property but, he’d let them have some space, he was nothing if not generous, he mentally applauded himself.) + +They chose to camp in the chamber that they realised was the basement of the tower, too exhausted to risk leaving first. + +In the morning they performed a thorough, uninterrupted search of the building and uncovered a potion of fire breath that went into the bag of holding. + +Amidst their search on the floor that they had skipped the day prior, Tiefstein and Von Autingler were rifling through drawers when they spied a metallic glint.

Reacting instinctively, faster than thought, the proprietor magically reprimanded the deviant, pocketing the ring he spied while he was distracted. Realising what had happened, a vocally distraught Autismus returned to his sulky rummaging and uncovered a second ring that made them both gasp. What his grubby fingers had unearthed was a Ring of Wishes, with one of it’s 3 rubies still glowing. Heart hammering in his chest, recognising the extreme danger of such a powerful artefact, Joffrey stammered that they should store it in the vault until their time of greatest need. + +His words fell on deaf ears and before he could even finish speaking, the ring had disappeared within dirty underwear. With some lewd sniggering about a “Cock-ring of Wish” followed by a small yelp, the depraved lunatic’s eyes widened and he looked at his carer. “I can’t get it off” was the only intelligible phrase amongst his deranged jabbering and the leader’s eyes screwed shut, cold dread washing over him. + +He proceeded to reinforce that the animal should keep his mouth shut and under no circumstances, say the phrase “I wish”. This was met with Autismus saying he wouldn’t say the “w” word that earned him a slap for his flirtation with doom. + +Imagining piles of gold to calm himself, Tiefstein inspected his pocketed jewellery and determined it was a Ring of Spell-Storing that could retain 4 spells. After some internal and external debate, he decided to keep this and consider how it could best be used between the group. + +While he rolled these new revelations over in his mind, they climbed to the top of the lighthouse and looked out from their new and unique vantage point. He’d not seen the town from this perspective before, view unobstructed by squat dwellings, making the club shaped profile of the Ivory Tower stand out. + +Realising it looked taller-again than usual, and thicker at the top than the base, he raised this with the rest of the party and they resolved to visit it soon. + +Squaring things away before leaving, Joffrey spent some time tinkering with the keg robot and was able to modify it’s behaviour into a treasure guardian for the vault. + +He decided to give it a name and etched P.A.D.E into the wood of its keg. “Pneumatic Alcohol Dispensing Equipment” or “Paddy” for short. + +Venturing out into the town, they realise that the new halfling residents are giving them strange looks. Their eyes looked dimly glazed and Joffrey could see their thoughts written in their stupid features as they looked at him; “Orange man bad” they seemed to say. + +He was unconcerned and smiled despite this thinking, though they may not know it, they were going to love him. + +Arriving at the base of the Ivory Tower, they approached the nearest archway and were intercepted by a pair of guards. Unlike the other townsfolk, these potato-faced gits seemed alert and sneered at them, asking what their business was. + +Sensing something off about these two, those experienced with the arcane could see through their magic disguises at the demons underneath. + +Not being overly charismatic, Bubba attempted a thinly veiled deception that they are there to see Trae’vhor on the fourth floor, and was rebuffed. Attempting to salvage the exchange, and not be stabbed, Tiefstein adopted his trademark smile, correcting that they were there to see him on the fourteenth floor. + +This didn’t go down much better and he ushered the group away from the guards as he backed off, all the while peppering them with niceties. +He told them to spread the word to their coworkers, that denizens of the ‘Tower would benefit from a loyalty program at his bar. + +Not having any other significant priorities, they decided to head to the swamp to see the Queen, not wanting to waste too much time and risk enraging a giant dragon. + +Upon reflection as they travelled, Joffrey acknowledged that there weren’t guards at the other archways and they likely could have walked through a different entrance. + +Arriving at the entrance to the cave network, Autismus and Bubba halted Squelch and encouraged him not to reveal that they had the dragon sword. He was confused and simply pointed at the sword they were flamboyantly waving around, stating that they did have it. + +They tried a little longer to convince him to go along with their nonsense, the Bard wisely avoiding taking part, but eventually decided against committing suicide by acid. + +They moved to enter but Joffrey halted Squelch once again, remembering he hadn’t updated him about their previous quest. He casually dumped on him that everyone in his village was dead, not of their doing, but Solkanar had tasked them with killing them all initially, anyway. + +His little eyes nearly popped out of his skull as he tried to process this trauma; all he could manage was a weak “what?” Before scurrying after them. + +Arriving in the Queen’s lair, she firmly called on Bubba for tribute and he spluttered inarticulately, attempting to explain that he didn’t have the money.

She informed him that that wasn’t her problem and began to ask again for an appropriate offering, before their leader hauled him and the others behind him.

Magically amplifying his voice and wearing a charming smile, Joffrey faced the the dragon alone, assertively requesting she talk to him. + +Doing some quick calculations, he produced five valuable gems along with 50 gold pieces, to make a more visually appealing offering. + +She gazed at this greedily, accepted it, then unceremoniously tossed it on to her heap of treasure. + +Joffrey turned to his dependents, made his eyes briefly glow with golden light that completed his benevolent visage, and muttered “The Emperor protects”. + +Both parties having satisfied their egos, turned to the topic of their mission to the Gauntlet of Doom and if they had managed to recover the artefact. + +Autismus reluctantly produced the sword and the dragon visibly recoiled from it, suspiciously advising that he could keep it. + +Joffrey made a mental note to ensure that they had the sword professionally identified and inspected before it was used. + +She demanded to know what happened after they left the Gauntlet and why it had taken so long for them to return to her. + +Tiefstein opened by informing the queen that her son had attempted to conceal knowledge of the magic sword from her before recounting their tale. + +He covered the village, the magic lighthouse, their encounter with Hoover and his unusual command of powered gems. + +Her Majesty processed this for a moment before wistfully stating that “The Tower” were farther ahead than she’d anticipated, concerned that they could recharge gemstones now. + +She bid them to sneak into the Ivory Tower next and gather intelligence on their secrets before brusquely dismissing them. + +Their leader dissatisfied with this dangerous assignment, knowing that the Tower was now full of demons, requested a boon of the dragon. + +The Queen rejected him, informing them that they should be powerful enough if they had managed to complete the Gauntlet, and survive an encounter with Hoover. + +The team retreated from the royal chambers without further comment. As they were on their way out, Squelch, overcome by emotions about his destroyed village, attempted to commiserate with another goblin that turned out to be his chieftain. + +The other goblin was apathetic of the news, agreed with the genocide, said that Squelch’s mother was a whore and he basically had 300 siblings, “good riddance”. + +Joffrey attempted to step in for his diminutive compatriot, giving the abuser a noble’s slap and a stiff reprimand.

Squelch lost his mind and pinned the chief against the wall by his neck, then mustered all the power he could, before walloping him in the balls with his hammer. Regardless of the intended outcome, the chieftain was thoroughly annihilated and turned into people pâté; this legally made Squelch the new ruler of the Watt Tribe. + +He was henceforth known as “Squelch Stormborn, Breaker of Chains, First of his Name”. + +The grotesque beast located his previous military friend “Squawk the Rok Slayer”, the second best warrior in the clan under him, and left him in command in his absence. + +Heads held high, they left the filth in their cave; Joffrey now held a small amount of respect for Squelch as he was more or less nobility, and mentally elevated him above halflings. + +As they trudged down the Outlet, their leader suggested that they try and find the old man bedecked with birds that the goblin had mentioned previously. + +Instead, they found 2 Giant Space Hamsters by the Obelisk of O’Brien that were milling around and licking salt aimlessly. Joffrey recognised what they were and wasted no time in attempting to harness this resource, with Bubba as an animal translator. + +They claimed that the Obelisk was their ship and they were seeking to repair it; Tiefstein nodded sagely and advised that he could assist them. + +He convinced Bubba to give up his home by the swamp to the hamsters, seeing as he now had a space in Tiefstein Tower, this would give them lush land, shelter and water. + +In exchange for his benevolence, Joffrey requested that if he should ever need a favour, that they answer his call.

He couldn’t wait for the grand opening of his new restaurant in Tiefstein Tower. + +*To be continued.* \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 5.md b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 5.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..aaa0485 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 5.md @@ -0,0 +1,290 @@ +05/04/2025 - ***Perfectly in-tune*** + +Hours turned to days as the party busied themselves with their preparations for the task ahead; sneaking in to tower would be their most dangerous trial yet. + +Squelch spent his time coordinating with the goblins, settling in to his new position as clan chief, and delegating tasks to his new number two, Squawk. He arranged for an expedition of 12 to investigate the incident at the goblin village, perhaps hoping to find survivors that the dragons callously disregarded.

The draconic Queen sent forth an expedition of her own, although their destination was a mystery, her plans were beyond mortal comprehension. + +The race traitor amused himself with his alchemical pursuits, attempting to infuse Sheep Bone ales with yeti blood, chasing illusive frost resistance. + +Joffrey industriously worked on his renovations of Tiefstein Tower, painting it black and gold in agreement with Autismus' taste in color. Internally the structure was reworked according to plans Tiefstein had architected himself, and he was delighted to find the cost of labor so low.
 +Attempts were made to augment the teleportation matrix at the pinnacle to add attunement for security, this ultimately failed due to the complexity. Fortunately however, he was able to fortify the vault in the basement against mundane entry, at least that was something. + +If one were to look too closely at the paintings that now tastefully bedecked most spaces in the lighthouse, they would notice that all of the faces in the portraits were of the great bard himself. + +Along with his other endeavors, the legendary performer went shopping and acquired for himself a new short sword, crossbow and burglars kit. + +While the remainder worked tirelessly, Autismus spent his time fucking around, telling the others that he was working on his "Dark Arts". Based on the deranged giggling coming from his quarters at all hours of the day, that may have been a euphemism; besides, Joffrey wasn't sure that he could even read. + +Having completed their rigorous preparations, the legendary quartet made their way over to the Ivory Tower to test their mettle. + +Arriving at the base of the structure, they spied a similar pair of demonic guards disguised as halflings as they had encountered previously. + +While they maintained their vigil, a third halfling approached from the village that also appeared to be in disguise; Piercing the veil, they saw it was Hoover the gnome wearing an illusion. + +He sauntered past the guards, produced something small from his robes and touched it against a heavily adorned wall plate by the door. There was a small flash of magical energy as a portal opened and he casually stepped through. + +The group noted that the portal remained opened after he entered and decided to act quickly to try and seize their chance to gain entry. + +Approaching in his prison guard costume, Joffrey took point and began to weave a delicate web of deception around the guards, enthralling them. He claimed to be searching for an escaped prisoner in the area, and that he would like to enter The Tower to ensure that there was no threat to its personnel. + +The guards were baffled by this and were adamant that no one had entered without authorization, but they found they were unable to look away from this very nice man, with a very large smile. + +Joffrey ramped up his antics, gesticulating energetically to his audience, as Bubba employed his own hobbyist theatrics. Pulling himself forwards on an invisible rope, he silently climbed horizontally behind the guards and began to rifle through their pockets. + +He gestured mystically to Joffrey over their shoulders, momentarily confounded by an invisible wall, before pulling an endless rope from their trousers that ended in a monkey paw on a chain. He put a hand to his mouth and black and white face-paint further accentuated his shocked, melodramatic facial expression. + +In a series of exaggerated, tip toed steps, he made his way over to the door and began to tinker with the wall plate, Autismus sheepishly following after a moment of indecision. + +The portal sprang into existence as the monkey paw was produced and the guards began to rouse not having noticed someone approaching the entrance. Thinking quickly as only a master tactician could, Joffrey exclaimed that he just saw the missing prisoner and pointed squarely at Squelch, in his hiding place in a nearby bush. + +The guards shouted in alarm, now realising that their rabbit’s foot was missing, and charged towards the garden as Tiefstein slunk into the portal. + +Squelch cursed this perceived betrayal and sprinted for the portal, doing his best to evade capture as the illusory halflings launched themselves at him. + +Fortunately he fell through the portal just in time and it snapped shut behind him as it expired, leaving the demons trapped temporarily outside. + +Standing up, he found himself alongside his companions in some kind of foyer, and quickly forgot his anger at the entrepreneur as he read the plaque on the admin desk. “The Tower: Baths and Day Spa”. + +The room was beautifully appointed in white marble, with a large pentagram engraved into the centre of the room and some changing booths on one side. + +At a desk was a bored looking succubus leaning on her hand who, as they approached, monotonically welcomed them to the day spa. She advised them that they should disrobe, store their gear and then collect some towels before heading in. + +No one felt that removing their equipment was wise, so they took towels from the pile and attempted to move towards the door on the opposite side of the room. The succubus called out to them and asked again, for the goblin in particular, to remove their armour as it would rust up in the spa and make a mess. + +She didn’t particularly care however, and they ignored her advice as they moved off, with Squelch wrapping towels around his top and bottom to obscure his plate. + +Bubba decided to take a closer look at the monkey paw talisman and found that it shared the “Tower Day Spa” branding. + +Making their way through the doorway marked ‘spa’, they entered an initial room featuring a generously sized central pool flanked by a door on either side. The pool was brimming with a foreboding, dark red, and slightly viscous looking fluid that a pair of Roks were frolicking in. + +At the rear was a ghoul with a net on a long pole fishing out chunks of debris from the “water”, with a monkey paw on a chain around his neck. + +As they moved into the room, they could see the signage above the doors more clearly, the left said “massage” whilst the other was blank. + +The Roks attempted to engage the group in conversation as they noticed them, inviting them into the suspicious stew for a “game”; a smiling Joffrey promised they would catch up with them later. + +The goblin skittered up to the ghoul and roughly questioned him as to whether he knew Hoover and had seen where he had gone, but the pitiful creature didn’t know anything. + +Slyly glancing at the ghoul-boy’s monkey paw, they noted that it appeared identical to their own. + +Not making much progress, Bubba suggested splitting up and checking both of the doors to cover more ground; there was some debate but they opted to stick together for safety. + +They headed through the unlabelled door on the right hand side of the pool, proceeded down a hall to a fork, before choosing right again. + +Temperature and humidity rose in concert down the hallway, and the air soon became thick with fog as they entered a chamber with a large brazier in the centre. Suspended in the air above the construct was the source of the steam; two massive elementals locked in seemingly eternal conflict, one fire and one water. + +Joffrey squinted, attempting to peer through the dense mist at the other side of the room and could only just make out another doorway. + +His reverie was shattered much like a portion of the brazier, as the diminutive dimwit charged forth and belted it with his hammer on a whim. + +Joffrey wasn’t sure if he was concerned about his armour in the intense steam, or if he’d just been lacking violent stimulation for several seconds and had gotten bored. + +Whatever his motivation, if he’d desired violence it was going to be what he got, as the fire elemental was banished and the aqueous alternative dropped to the floor. + +Before anyone could react it let loose a blast of water into Autismus who, having drank quite some piss in his time, was able to determine the resistances of the entity. + +Bubba lashed out, but his dart and pole seemed to mostly pass through the creature, barely injuring it. + +Squelch was drawn inside the creature as it momentarily enveloped and suffocated him, before he was able to force his way back out with his wiry strength. + +The secretion sommelier launched a series of magic missiles into its rippling form, splashing the tiles with what he fantasised was urine. + +The Whack-Splat passed through it barely causing a tremor, glowing gem briefly illuminating it from within like a living lava lamp. + +Seeing the limited effect the others were having on this pernicious puddle, Tiefstein knew he was going to have to save them himself and thrust forth his ring. A wave of force erupted from his fist as he unleashed a stored Thunderwave, blasting the creature back away from them and doing moderate harm. + +Sensing an actual threat present, the creature was enraged and roared with aquatic agony as it surged forwards. + +Bubba attempted to stop it from reaching the legendary bard, but his weapons were ineffective as the wailing wave proceeded unhindered. + +Joffrey was crushed under a breaking tide that almost broke his body, and was himself enraged, did this lecherous lickspittle know who he was !? +Eyes alight with the fires of the 9 hells and roared “I’m not locked in here with you, YOU’RE LOCKED IN HERE WITH ME!” He snapped his fingers, and in an instant the creature was wreathed in magical fire, surface boiling as it was grievously wounded in retribution. + +In awe of the unchecked might of their leader, Autismus and Squelch regrouped and a hail of magic missiles, hammer blows and holy energy pummelled the beast. + +His potent magic was too good for this ripple ridden rapscallion, the bard drew forth his gleaming new short sword, summoned all his strength and parted the water like a religious figure of old. + +Muscles bulging, he raised his blade aloft in triumph, making it glow as his voice seemed to emanate from everywhere at once “I. HAVE. THE. POWER!” he bellowed. + +The fisherman excitedly collected a small bottle of water from the elemental before it drained away, although this was determined to have no unique properties whatsoever. + +As the vapour in the room dissipated, a figure seated on a bench in the rear became visible, unfortunately he was long dead and appeared thoroughly steamed. + +Bubba and Tiefstein wasted no time searching them, practically running into each other as they tore off anything of value like hyenas. Among the gelatinous remains they recovered 40 gold pieces, a small ruby and a vial of mystery dust. + +Bubba was most interested in this dust, surely for academic and alchemical purposes, and Joffrey was quite happy to let him take his cut. + +The heady afterglow of victory and wealth left him and he began to feel the severity of his injuries as he shakily quaffed a greater healing potion from the bag of holding. It wasn’t quite what he was hoping for, but it did make it easier to remain standing, as they quietly moved to investigate the region beyond the doorway. + +From the threshold they could see a room filled with a number of bubbling hot tubs, only one was occupied by a small figure, and there were a gaggle of 5 skeletons further back. + +Joffrey hissed as he recognised Hoover in the tub then attempted to convince the others to retreat, the compact cosmetics connoisseur was dangerous. In a brief moment of insanity however, he remembered how powerful he was and suggested attempting to silence and assassinate him instead. + +The faithful fisherman had his back no matter what he decided, and as they walked into the room, the businessman was genuinely unsure what was about to happen. + +Unusually, Hoover noticed them enter and greeted them as old friends, inviting them to join him, which the goblin took literally and climbed into his hot tub. + +He was naked, had a drink in-hand and took this development in stride as he asked him if he was still hanging around with that dick, Solkanar. + +Continuing to waffle, he asked if they knew any cool spells; Joffrey rebutted and asked if he knew any cool spells. + +“I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours” the gnome crooned with a wink, as the performer stared at him, on the razors edge of attempted murder. + +A few tense moments passed as the gears turned furiously in the bard’s mind before he cast Detect Magic. Feigning disappointment at Hoover’s dismissal of this entry level magic, he focused on his spell and scanned the room for evidence of the necromancer’s equipment to no avail. + +The gnome went on to boast that he knew plenty of powerful spells and pointed out his bony quintuple lurking in the shadows. + +He resumed his discussion with the other three and revealed that he was only a consultant contracted by The Ivory Tower, working on a mechanism to store life energy in crystals. +Demons owned the building and were using a variant of Hoover’s science to sap energy from the townsfolk; this was then drawn into the structure itself, causing it to grow. + +This somewhat confused him because his method required the use of large crystals and somehow, they were directing this energy into a building. + +His original project in the goblin village drained the local’s life-force into the large gem of the lighthouse, then directed the energy in a beam to The Ivory Tower. + +Autismus only had a rudimentary understanding of magic compared to Hoover, but was able to discern that this required necromancy and a large gem to focus the energy into; a “large suck-gem”, clarified Hoover. + +He went on to rave about how he hated Solkanar, and that the dragon was only angry with him for fornicating with his mother, the Queen. + +He explained wistfully the mechanics of the “Dragon Stand” sex technique, showing his captive audience the acid scars on his back with a lewd wink. + +Remembering the lighthouse, he asked them if the large gem was still intact, Joffrey quickly interjecting, telling him that it had been destroyed in the aftermath by the dragon. + +While he had his attention, the new owner of the lighthouse subtly questioned him about the mechanics of the teleporter, attempting to gleam a method of attuning it to specific people. + +Hoover largely brushed this off and said he could figure it out if he had to, but was primarily focused on Necromancy. + +Squelch prodded him about the denizens of SeegHell, wanting to know more about their condition and strange behaviour. Hoover explained that they were being drained of their life-force, as at the goblin village, and it was causing them to devolve into progressively lower beings. + +They didn’t have long left before they would be dead, they had started as divine beings, then demons and now they were halflings. + +Joffrey acknowledged he must have missed the demonic stage while he was away; they had been divine beings when he left and now they were halflings. + +The bard tried to glean more information about the storage of energy in crystals and asked if there were a way to store other forms, such as giant hamster energy in one, hypothetically. + +This was shot down and deemed not relevant to his necromantic arts, but the gnome did divulge that the chair in the lighthouse could drain energy from an occupant, proportional to their size. + +He tried another angle, initially asking him if he could store part of a person’s energy without killing or harming them; a “small-suck” in laymen’s terms. + +Hoover was evasive and didn’t really want to entertain this idea, calling it inefficient, causing Joffrey to insult his intelligence to try and goad a response. + +He posited that Hoover was wrong, and a number of chairs could be rigged up theoretically, to fill the suck-capacitor and charge gems without killing the occupants. + +Fortunately, the situation didn’t become violent, despite the small man’s animosity. + +He got back onto the topic of “big-suck”, and made some distasteful references to Solkanar’s mother that earned him guffaws and grins from Autismus and Bubba. They wrapped up their unexpectedly pleasant visit with the gnome after he offered to show them his excessively large “weapon” that had “pierced” the Queen, and departed. + +The party returned to the lobby, found Hoover’s monkey paw inserted into the pentagram on the floor along with another, and realised that they needed to collect all five to activate the teleporter. + +They had one on them already and knew that the Ghoul-boy had another, they were only missing one more and set off to find it. + +Approaching the Ghoul-boy, Joffrey went to work with a friendly smile, asking him if he would be able to loan them his key for a while. The ghoul wasn’t sure about this and felt that he might get into trouble for losing it, but Joffrey offered to make it worth his while. + +He told the gentlemen tales of riches beyond his wildest dreams from other planes of existence, taking out 2 “clear sapphires” and the bottle of “magical” elemental water. The simple undead took his newfound riches with gusto, and handed over his monkey paw to the generous entrepreneur. + +Warmest farewells exchanged, the group decided it might be worthwhile splitting up to cover the two remaining rooms efficiently. Autismus was most enthusiastic about visiting the massage parlour for reasons known only to him, and amidst his hawing and sniggering, Joffrey resolved to escort him. + +The bard cast Message on Bubba before they parted, in case anything was amiss, and with that, the goblin and halfling left to search the staff room. + +Walking up the stairs into the massage parlour, Autismus and Joffrey stumbled into a hedonistic scene; a minotaur laying on a table being vigorously worked on by three ghouls. + +They studied the room but were unable to see another monkey paw, only a hearty selection of lubricants, so they decided to catch up to the others instead of angering a minotaur. + +Besides, the rigorous rubbing of the rambunctious ruminant was making them uncomfortable. + +Joffrey and Bubba exchanged mental messages, including some visual impressions of crying laughing faces, updating each other on their status. + +Team short-stack arrived at the staff room and found that the door wasn’t locked, so they quietly slipped inside and were confronted by the rather literal naming scheme that made squelch laugh. + +In the centre of the chamber, inserted into a slot in a raised section of the floor, was a magical staff with a blue, glowing gem affixed to the top. + +Arranged around it were four cultists covered in pentagrams, worshipping the staff as a fifth walked the circle, whipping them as they chanted. + +In the back of the room was another bored looking ghoul-boy with a monkey paw around his neck, and the fisherman immediately sent the philanthropist an update. + +The whip-wielding wastrel noticed them as he completed his latest circuit, and told the two of them to fuck off, however Bubba informed him that they were here first. + +He was momentarily confused by this illogical statement before he rallied his subordinates to attack the newcomers. Hearing of the trouble through their psychic link, the more magically inclined pair began to rush towards the staff-room, however they had some ground to cover. + +The goblin took the initiative and charged into the room, ripping the staff free from the ground and threatened to destroy it if the cultists didn’t get back. Unfortunately for half-sized halfwit, touching the staff enraged the cultists and he put away his shield to dual wield staff and hammer; his faith would be his shield. + +Warding off the cultists with his weapons, he managed to hit one with the magical rod, electrocuting him but disgustingly, eliciting a moan of pleasure rather than pain. + +However, who was he to kink shame ? + +Wielding his less magical rod, the ranger lobbed a dart and whipped one of the aggressors, brutally wounding them as the group lunged at the goblin. + +A frenzy of stabbing daggers engulfed him, the first plunging into green flesh twice, considerably wounding the puny paladin as the rest sparked off his armour. + +Bubba’s blood ran cold as he felt a curse attempt to take hold on him, but he resisted its affects as he dodged a flying chair at the last second. The phantasmal furniture had been conjured by one of the cultists and proceeded to flail at him wildly, like it was wielded by a back-alley tavern brawler. + +Squelch ducked a vicious looking ray of green energy, then threw the staff to the ghoul-boy in favour of his shield, feeling more cautious as the situation escalated. He lashed out at the fellow that had attempted to hex him but was unsteadied by the onslaught. + +“The day is always darkest before the dawn” or so his promiscuous mother had always told him, and this time she was right. Just as hope began to dwindle, a magnificent figure in black leather burst into the room, aggressively flanked the attackers, and unleashed a cacophonous assault.

Three of the men were blasted from their feet, landing in a heap, by the ghoul-boy at the rear of the room, ravaged, while those remaining upright were shook by the newcomer. + +The tide rapidly turned as the fisherman’s deadly lash killed one of those still standing by Squelch, all but freeing him from further injury. + +If they weren’t already afraid they were now, as a deranged lunatic stumbled in, belching magic missiles that hammered all four of the humans. + +Marvelling at his musical saviour, Squelch fell to another beam of emerald light that found its mark, horrifically disfiguring him, although Joffrey couldn’t tell the difference. + +Recovering from their momentary shock, the men found their feet and rushed at the two newcomers, stabbing them both with ritual daggers. + +“Get back you filthy peasants!” Joffrey roared at this indignity, unleashing another Thunderwave that threw one of them into a heap again, rending flesh and breaking bones. + +A flicking fishing rod claimed another of those now weakened, leaving three briefly standing before a wave of fire from Autismus destroyed another two. + +The performer smoothly wheeled blades from their sheathes, hewed into their whip-cracking leader, eviscerating them, a heartbeat before Bubba completed the execution. + +Gurgling disturbed their post fight reverie as they remembered their wounded comrade; The ranger was able to stabilise their injuries and the goblin partially healed himself. + +Joffrey moved to talk to the ghoul-boy, but was rudely interrupted and shouldered aside by the now conscious, and furious, green-skin. + +Squelch jabbered in his brutal approximation of speech, shaking his hammer and pointing at the monkey paw around the undead’s neck. + +The world-weary attendant gave it up without fuss and sighed, before moving off to look for more towels; what a mess they’d created for him. + +Despite the simple garments of the cultists, Joffrey searched them eagerly, adding four daggers and a whip to his collection. + +Autismus and Bubba derided him for his pragmatism, sarcastically queried if he was planning on collecting the dust from the floor as well, then made fun of the size of his nose. + +The bard was confused and reflected on his perfectly proportioned features, as he unconsciously calculated the volume and projected value of the detritus, before shaking his head. + +He assessed their injuries, called for a short rest while the ghoul went about his business, and played his flute as they recovered, delicate notes closing wounds. + +Feeling more spritely, he tried to engage the undead again without interruption, this time bedazzling them with bullshit. He informed them that their performance review was due and he would need to take the staff from them, upstairs, for evaluation. + +The sighing soulless serf handed it over, along with a love letter that he requested be delivered to the succubus in the lobby. Reading the primitive prose, Joffrey frowned, and being an incredibly generous, philanthropic man, he offered to rewrite it for him.

The ghoul perked up and was exceedingly pleased by this turn of fortune; the hassle they’d caused him overshadowed by thoughts of a romantic romp. + +They parted on good terms, the bard tossing the staff to the lunatic as they made their way up the corridor. + +There was one door remaining in the hall that they hadn’t investigated, steam curled out underneath it and Bubba approached it. + +A large, black golem was revealed within; it was made of smouldering coal and poured water on itself to create the steam filling the small chamber. + +The performer was momentarily repelled, looking to retreat, until he heard the seductive siren tones of attempted music emanating from the fog. + +A trio of Roks were doing their best to play some instruments, but bemoaned that they couldn’t get in-tune, it just didn’t work. + +Now standing in the threshold, Joffrey quickly switched between his flute, harp and bagpipes, frowning as he advised it was easy and they each worked every time. + +They weren’t confident, but he was adamant that he would prove that being in-tune just worked, and he asked his companions for aid in his demonstration. + +Bubba bravely stepped forward, enthusiastic about being in-tune, whilst Squelch grimaced wanting nothing to do with them, and Autismus spasmed erratically while he dissociated. + +Joffrey decided he would show them how it was done to start with, giving a breathtaking performance of jazz flute that left everyone speechless. + +Bubba attempted to show them appropriate fingering technique, but this unsettled the Roks who were not sure how it was relevant to their present endeavour. + +After this stumble, the pair roused them with promises of the ease of being in-tune, how it was only natural and, when the Roks began to flag, Joffrey slammed the wall and struck fear into them. + +Being in-tune was a serious business and he would brook no nonsense during his lesson. + +At the feet of the immortal bard, Tiefstein himself, the Roks were unable to fail and by the end of the interlude, were playing their instruments masterfully. They finally saw the truth, being in-tune was easy, it just-worked, and for this grand epiphany they awarded their teacher a golden harmonica.

Joffrey reverently raised the harmonica above his head, made it glow, and sang “I. Have. The. Power!” His sonorous tenor reverberating around the enclosed space. + +Their trials completed and their leader’s glory absolute, the troupe made their way to the atrium to depart, now possessing all of the monkey paws. + +While the others inserted them into the pentagram on the floor, the bard approached the succubus at the front desk. He presented an easy smile along with the letter from the ghoul, telling her how beautiful the undead found her and how he longed to hold her in his arms. + +She blushed and was deeply flattered, telling the roguish romantic that she would go to Bob and be with him.

His good deed for the day completed, he reflected on how magnanimous and benevolent he was, the power in the pentagram rising. Just as the spell triggered, his warm introspection was broken by Bubba, flicking the succubus with his towel on a whim as the room vanished, possibly destroying his work. + +*To be continued* \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 6.md b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 6.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6c3e1cf --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 6.md @@ -0,0 +1,174 @@ +31/5/2025 - ***Creative use of mechanicals*** + +The bright, immaculate foyer faded from view, transitioning to a dimly lit, metal-clad room rife with corrosion and signs of wear. + +Sputtering overhead lights intermittently cut through the gloom, occasionally joined by a shower of sparks from among the myriad exposed wires in the ceiling. + +Small, red cabinets dotted around the perimeter of the space sat empty, their fire suppressants absent. + +Gazing around, the troupe could see a glass wall to their right, covering another jungle of cables and pipes haphazardly routed in all directions. + +Movement at the far end of the room drew their eyes to a nightmarish contraption, a chair of sorts covered in metal appendages, whirring and juddering. It appeared to be repairing a small, mechanical looking gnome, with one artificial eye that glowed softly. + +Recovering from the rapid change of scenery, they became aware of rows of other miscellaneous small forms, standing sentinel on either side of the room. + +Fortunately they all seemed to be dormant and Joffrey took a step forwards, thinking to engage them in conversation.

Immediately, klaxons began to bombard the workshop, red lights flaring in the corners of the room, and all of the figures became alert, metallic faces snapping towards them. + +"Fuck." + +Thunder cracked, deafening even over the whine of the alarms, and three robots were rapidly disassembled, revealing the platinum rods and power crystals at their cores.

Joffrey blew on his still-smoking hand in smug satisfaction, as Autismus contributed to the carnage, immolating another trio with a gout of flames. + +Bubba flung a dart and whipped the slightly larger robot being repaired with his fishing rod, injuring it, as Squelch shattered another with his hammer. + +The fighting quickly devolved into a brutal brawl; Bubba and Squelch both bobbed and weaved multiple opponents each and Joffrey soon took a wound from his own. + +Bucking and shuddering, the repair apparatus went haywire and began to careen through the scrum, sharp implements a swirling vortex that took an unwary robot from its feet. + +A masterwork dagger struggled dig deep enough to kill, firebolts slammed into targets to similar effect, whips cracked, but only the mighty Whack-Splat proved truly lethal. + +The goblin was the next to be injured, although the crowd was beginning to thin and the fisherman kept another two busy, jumping over the prone assailant threatening his ankles. + +With a horrendous screeching, the chair crashed into the wall, limbs scraping metal against metal over the head of the knee knifer, as it ponderously dragged itself along the surface. +Tiefstein finally drove his dagger home, piercing the chromed cranium of his cantankerous cur, before bravely moving to cover the sorcerer’s flank, at the back of the room. + +He piped a soothing melody, reminiscent of summer’s spent by a lake, buckets brimming with aquatic animals, to bolster the halfling’s resolve in his efforts with the furious furniture. + +Buoyed by the confidence inspiring presence of his leader at his back, Autismus crushed another pair of cyborgs with magic missiles and injured a third. + +Bubba also scored a mighty hit against the repair droid as Squelch smashed the last of the minor mechanicals. + +Bladed limbs crashed into the reinforced door ineffectually as Joffrey took out his crossbow, blew the dust off it and fired it experimentally; he hadn’t used it before and all he achieved was adding an additional dent to the door. + +Another firebolt wafted over the perilous pinwheel, as Bubba spied it’s power source through it’s thrashing limbs and stuck his hand in, narrowly managing to rip it out. + +Surveying the carnage, Joffrey sucked up 13 gemstones, 8 of which held a charge, as they examined the locked door. + +Along the wall to either side of it, were 6 slots in total and it required a matching number of powered gems to activate it. + +In a moment of brilliance, Tiefstein suggested using their combined mage hands and fishing rod to attempt to pull some gems out, and whip them through before it shut behind them.

Unfortunately, their first attempt failed with the portal sealing closed, all 6 gems on the wrong side. + +Scanning the new room they were now trapped in, they found it a hive of activity with five cubic machines whizzing around, continually repairing the structure and cleaning up. + +In one corner was a pile of metallic plates that they were hastily securing to walls, along with a complex amalgam of ticking cogs that took all of their attention. + +Similar to the previous space, there was a glass wall covering cables and other hazards along one side, however there was also a mass of cables that seemed infested with insects. + +Looking closer, it became apparent that these were actually tiny machines bustling around and Joffrey endeavoured to capture some. + +He took a proffered vial from the halfling, and employing his mage hand, attempted to scoop some of them up; which ended poorly. + +They began to swarm like angry bees and descended on Bubba, although they didn’t immediately penetrate his armour. + +Slightly less fortunate, Autismus was ravaged by a second swarm and was grievously wounded, although the bard was quick to intervene and destroyed a number of them. + +Likewise, Bubba was able to crush half of his while flailing around with his fishing rod. + +The deranged lunatic threatened to set himself on fire, casting Firebolt on the tiny targets, while Squelch retreated after helplessly missing with his hammer, muttering a protective spell. + +Their desire for diseased blood presently sated, Autismus' swarm descended on the bard, but glanced off his highly polished, leather cladding. + +The 3 continued their desperate attempts to remove the insects without much success; eventually the fisherman managed to kill his. + +Tangling with the last remaining swarm on Joffrey, Squelch missed and retreated back into the space the larger robots were operating in, panting.

While his back was turned, the cubic mechanicals finally registered the presence of the newcomers and the tumult they were causing in their construction area. Eyes turning crimson, they barrelled into the group, two breaking off and attacking the goblin, while the remainder acquired one each. + +Von Autingler and the paladin were caught off guard and took some hits, as Bubba savagely crushed his new opponent with a single strike and Joffrey laid about him with sword and dagger. + +As a firebolt streaked past the bard and he frantically batted the swarm away from his vital areas, he realised this was his last chance to obtain a specimen before they were killed. Pulling his golden harmonica from his pocket, he attempted to play a sultry melody to insects, to coax them into a phial. Unfortunately, with the chaos around him and tiny claws carving furrows in his flesh, Tiefstein wasn’t able to give the performance his all, and the lunatic finally succeeded in killing them. + +The swamp dweller banished another of their foes as the fight devolved into a brutal melee with little progress being made on either side. + +The tide turned as the deranged madman slew another, blasting it apart, damaging it’s gemstone heart. + +Squelch was growing frustrated and smote his remaining robot, destroying it, as Joffrey precisely plunged his dagger and sword into the last of their number. + +Rummaging around in the masses of sparking cables and twisted metal, they recovered a bevy of gems and platinum rods. + +Approaching the door, they saw this one had only 4 slots and Tiefstein shrewdly proposed that they attempt the same trick they’d used previously. Now practiced, the trio managed near impossible timing, simultaneously removing 3 of the gems between their mage hands and fishing rod respectively. + +They emerged into the next chamber laughing and high-fiving triumphantly, paying little heed to what lay beyond.

Unnoticed were a trio of pyramidal repair bots, each holding javelin-like tools and another cubic robot, all performing tasks that were interrupted by this uproar. + +Mirth subsiding, Joffrey turned towards the centre of the room, and was promptly impaled by a pair of projectiles that carried him from his feet, felling him in an instant. + +Additional missiles flew past the others as they were alerted to the danger and the goblin rushed to his master’s side, pouring divine energies into him. + +Regaining his feet, javelins pushed from his now sealed wounds, the financier announced that he no longer hated the short nuisance, and turned to survey the apparatus in the middle of the chamber. + +It was a conveyor belt of sorts, with a bright light shining upon it from one of a pair of flanking pillars, and a pair of shelves running the length of it on either side. + +There was little time to make sense of this as the fisherman marked his first kill and Tiefstein charged to his aid, trading blows with a triangular terror; the goblin struggling to make sense of his statement. + +The deviant made short work of the lone cuboid, meanwhile Joffrey was brutalised once again and was barely standing, internals pulped by repeated blunt force trauma. + +Bubba tried his best to help but was able to offer little, one of the machines attempting to grapple him and drag him into the contraption, but he was too strong. + +Pulling free he managed to land a good strike and yelled for Joffrey to retreat, but the bard growled that retreat was for cowards. + +Roaring, his blades carved a deadly lattice in the air, savagely reducing his opponent to scrap metal, and he bore his now glowing sword aloft, declaring his supremacy. He had the power. + +Speaking of cowards, the last robot grabbed the fisherman while he was distracted by this display of prowess and dragged him into the machinery. + +As he was drawn along the belt and the bright light hit and almost stunned him, half the dust he’d previously collected from the swarms reanimated, and began to ravage him. + +The pyramidal mechanical was visibly repaired by the beam of energy as it followed him through it and began to walk backwards, to stay in its glow. + +The diminutive dimwit clanked around to the side of the apparatus, studying the mechanism inside the glass covered shelves, spying a pair of scrolls. + +To the bard’s dismay, the little lout attempted to smash the machine with his hammer, getting electrocuted for his trouble; He swore vengeance against any that would break it before he’d used its power to charge his gems. + +Tiefstein determined that the two scrolls were of mending and flying, bonking the glass experimentally. He decided he probably couldn’t hit the robot anyway and lost focus on the brawl on the belt. + +Autismus inspected the other side of the machine, but finding nothing of note, unsuccessfully attempted to drag the robot from the light; getting his hand slapped, he spat on metallic menace in frustration. + +Bubba continued to kick and thrash at the swarm, reaching the end of the line and being dumped on the floor, as the goblin smote the robot. + +Returning to the matter at hand, the bard now stood at the foot of the beam, agonising over dispensing his mineral collection into it. He realised it would take too long and instead, reluctantly took a pot shot at the insects with his crossbow, winging them. + +The savage sorcerer incinerated most of those remaining, with the last few fleeing into the inner workings of the contraption. + +The light was beginning to falter as they burrowed into it’s source and the bearer of the bag of holding desperately rummaged, trying to retrieve as many stones as he could before it failed.

7 gems were empowered as the passed through it and Autismus leapt into it, his staff glowing with enhanced power, almost distracting him from the secondary glow in his trousers.

Upon further scrutiny, he realised he’d gained a second wish. + +Before the scrolls from the now defunct device could be spirited away by Joffrey, he aggressively snatched those up as well, snarling at the bard. + +Bubba suggested that they settle down for the night, noting that three rooms of frantic fights had left them in a sorry state.

Joffrey was panicked and paranoid of possibly pausing, positing that the Tower would be alerted to their presence by now and may attack at any moment.

Eventually they managed to calm him and they got some shut eye after hoovering up all the remaining valuables. + +Fully restored and energising the door at the far end of the room, they made their way through but were interrupted from attempting their previously successful ritual.

A scraping and clattering assaulted their ears as they noted the cybernetic starfish chained to the far wall, however the sound didn’t originate from that strange creature. + +The heaps of scrap metal and spare parts strewn about this apparent workshop began to swirl and collide, forming a growing mass, they’d seen something like this before on a smaller scale. + +A giant metallic chimera formed from the debris, equal parts lion, dragon and goat, it’s three snarling heads malevolently surveying the quartet. + +In a flurry of motion, the group fled back through the door, Bubba casting his darts and line over his shoulder, Squelch blessing the party and jabbering an oath as the two magic users lobbed spells.

Joffrey, in a moment of calculated brilliance, had cast Heat Metal on the automata, its skin beginning to glow, joints seizing as it raged in pain, hindering it substantially.

Sometimes his genius was so great, it generated it’s own gravity. + +Bubba held the breach of the doorway, narrowly ducking a headbutt from the monstrosity, only to be raked by a massive clawed foot.

Just as they were feeling somewhat safer for being on the other side of the narrow entrance, a torrent of dark green gas roiled through the gap, encompassing them. + +The goblins hasty blessing was all that kept that from taking the full brunt of the poison, although the effects were still devastating. + +Twin eruptions of fire wracked the beast as the bard and sorcerer rebuked it in unison, followed by yet another torrent of flames from the deranged madman’s outstretched hands. + +Despite their initial fear, the great mass of menacing metal was being beaten back, hunks of detritus clanging to the flagstones. + +The dragon head whipped past in agony and the fisherman launched himself on top of it, seizing the glowing gem and tearing it out of the socket in it’s skull. + +The great lizard’s visage slumped, thudding limp to the floor as he leapt clear of the remaining danger. + +Tiefstein snapped his fingers and once again, the beasts metallic flesh glowed with renewed heat, eliciting another twinned roar of agony. + +He followed this with a near impossible shot from his crossbow, perfectly carving through the maze of body parts to strike the crystal in the lion’s head.

Unfortunately, it seemed the gods were against him and this failed to shatter or knock free the prism, merely further enrage its pedestal. +
Squelch and Autismus rushed the remaining heads, feeling their best chance was following Bubba’s example.

The diminutive greenskin failed to prise loose the gem from the goat head, while the deviant was successful in felling the lion’s with a rap of his staff, causing Joffrey to roll his eyes. + +With two heads anchoring the construct, it was little challenge for the fishing enthusiast to pluck the remaining gem free, causing a sudden cascade of scrap as the creature lost cohesion. + +As they gathered themselves, the bard sulkily tore the lone platinum rod from the heap that their strife had earned them. + +Bubba approached the cybernetic starfish chained to the wall, answering its pitiful cries as it begged to be released from it’s torment. + +As he reached for the lock, Tiefstein slapped his hands away and grilled the pathetic pentadactyl, shortly satisfied it was telling the truth and bore them no ill will. + +It was called 57ev1e or “Stevie” and wanted nothing more than to return to it’s home on the plane of law and reconnect with it’s “Prime”.

The troupe resolved to assist it, explaining that they had a means of navigating great distances in their magical lighthouse, and Bubba removed its chains. + +They made their way to the glowing teleported in the corner of the chamber, the only means of egress, and the room warped around them. + +In the time it took to blink and clear their eyes, they found themselves in a lavish office bedecked with fine bookshelves, leather couches and rich carpet. +Opposite them was grand desk, behind which perched a well-dressed demon, peering at them perplexed. + +*To be continued.* diff --git a/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 7.md b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 7.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..88bd616 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 7.md @@ -0,0 +1,376 @@ +26/7/2025 - ***Seeking a Big D*** + +Reality bent, then shattered in an instant, time and space broken down to their most fundamental elements; then, just as suddenly, they emerged from the portal. + +Disoriented, they made a study of their new environment; gone was the dank dungeon, now replaced by a warmly lit and richly appointed office. + +Newly materialised feet sank down into plush carpets as they gazed at the shelves bedecked with first editions and curios, panning around to a large mahogany desk that dominated the space. + +A large devil in a tailored business suit reclined at ease in an oversized, leather clad chair, inspecting the newcomers with a mixture of disdain and malevolent curiosity. + +Partially obscured by his unsettling bulk, was the open doorway to a balcony; from the lack of a horizon, they got the sense that they must be very high up. + +So imposing was this figure, that the party barely noticed the five lesser devils arrayed around the periphery; closer to men in size, silent and tense like trained hounds against a master’s leash. + +They were similarly attired, although their powerful necks and arms were also draped in chains, marking them as bodyguards. + +One of their number had a dimmer cast and thick, dark, bushy eyebrows, almost grown together, and he possessed a fine silver badge with the mark of The Tower pinned to his lapel. + +He must have failed upwards. + +Breaking the brief silence, the large devil confirmed with the thugs, in a curt and businesslike tone, that they were the ones he’d wanted and had been teleported direct from the bottom of the tower. + +Frowning, he stabbed a clawed finger at the party, indicating Stevie, and announced that they had his prototype, before snapping his fingers. A pair of guards roughly seized him, dragging him back through the portal to be returned to his restraints in the dungeon. + +Before anyone could react, his eyes then settled on Bubba and he barked a command, causing another pair of his guards to move to seize him as well. + +Prideful, he attempted to resist the descending clawed hands, successfully knocking one pair away, only to be roughly clubbed by the other, almost braining him with their strength. + +Brutally tight chains encapsulated him, preventing all but the smallest of movements as he helplessly looked up at the approach of the remaining tough. + +His head was dragged back and his mouth forcibly opened, as the newcomer held up what appeared to be a writhing, mechanical snake. + +As it was brandished closer to his face, it reared up with a hiss, before suddenly lunging forward and plunging down his throat, vanishing. + +With that he was roughly released and Joffrey was the first to recover from the shock of the sight of this manifest nightmare. + +“What is the meaning of this !? Who are you? You’re damaging my property!” He snapped at the greater demon. + +The entity explained that they were trespassing in his tower, and they were now his tools to do with as he will. + +He alluded to the snake being a tool for scrying and espionage, and it would be unwise to reveal it’s presence to the dragon queen, lest she destroy Bubba, and perhaps the rest of the party. + +Further recovering his faculties, Joffrey began to negotiate to keep all that they had collected in The Tower, as compensation for the injuries and inconvenience they’d suffered. + +He was told that their grief might be worth, at most, one platinum rod, but what leverage could he possibly have to bargain with a being as grand as this devil. + +Tiefstein advised that they could go along with this scheme and gather intelligence on the dragon’s faction. + +The devil scoffed and said that was hardly of any value, he already knew all and saw all, he didn’t need tidbits from a mortal. + +Joffrey shrewdly pointed out that he wouldn’t have gone to the effort of capturing them and implanting a scrying device in bubba if they already knew everything and didn’t need them. + +The devil’s self assured mask cracked and he was taken aback, not expecting a mortal to be so perceptive. + +In the momentary pause in conversation, they could see bright lights streaking past the balcony, descending towards the ground in the distance. + +The landscape around the town as far as the eye could see was being bombarded; it was odd that they couldn’t feel the tremors from the colossal impacts, perhaps an artefact of The Tower’s magic. + +Returning to the task at hand, Tiefstein announced that he had little love for the dragons and suggested he may wish to kill Solkanaar; better yet if the residents of the Tower could assist. + +The large fiend had no concerns with killing the whelp but didn’t go so far as to offer assistance, he was of no consequence to them. + +He offered a threat instead, they could gather intelligence on the dragons and agree to his terms, or they could exit via the balcony and plummet to the cobblestones. + +Joffrey briefly calculated this proposal, giving a Autismus a questioning glance regarding the scroll of Fly he had collected, but the lunatic only shook his head, it would only protect one person. + +In the end he continued to press and negotiated to keep all that they had collected, in addition to the lighthouse, in exchange for information moving forwards. + +With a clap of his hand, the devil re opened the portal, straight to the foyer, and the group exited The Tower mostly intact. + +In the street, Autismus and Joffrey halted Bubba and attempted to get a magical reading on his new passenger, but both were baffled when neither could sense any magic inside his body. + +They were roused from their arcane sciences by the ground shaking as more meteors continued to land closer to the town, and they began to rush to the lighthouse under a sense of impending doom. + +It became abruptly clear that where once there were halflings infesting the town, now there was nought but oozes; the resident's bodies had continued to devolve under the Tower’s influence. + +Realising this may be their final chance to gather any resources they may require before leaving for good, they split up and charged in different directions. +Autismus made for the nearest opium den and gathered a lifetime supply of Old Toby and a pipe from their now unguarded stores. Bubba made for the town blacksmith and raided a fine grappling hook to further augment his fishing rod. + +Joffrey, somewhat more prudently, arranged the lighthouse staff to load as much food, dry goods and water into the Lighthouse as they could manage in preparation for a long voyage. + +Reconvening inside Tiefstein’s Tower, they found the hamsters had radically altered the basement; the Spelljammer throne had been heavily augmented with all manner of mechanical marvels beyond recognition. + +There was now a tremendous variety of glowing objects, pipes and hoses, buttons and other control schemes, as well as the beginnings of vast machinery and tanks on either side of the room. + +Bubba spoke to them in Hamsterese and relayed their request for additional materials to complete their great work to convert the lighthouse into a Spelljammer. + +They would require seven platinum rods and twelve powered gems to finish the construction and get the structure at least semi capable of flight.

Joffrey blanched and felt faint, reeling at the monumental cost as he realised he didn’t have enough infused gems to make this work, and considered the need to sacrifice a living being to fill more. + +Thankfully, both Autismus and Bubba had secreted a couple more and they were able to meet the required quantity, setting the hamsters to work as they rested and made ready to leave. + +They made another pass of the town for anything else that they may need, and Joffrey ransacked a high-end music store, acquiring an extravagant set of heavily engraved, enchanted bagpipes. + +Blowing into them experimentally, jets of flame shot from the various pipes as he played a rowdy tune; he was ecstatic. + +The retrofit of the lighthouse was likely to take a day or so more to complete and things around the town seemed fairly stable for the time being, so they opted to visit The Queen. + +Leaving town and making their way towards The Outlet, there was the familiar sound of annoying wings overhead as Solkanaar intercepted them. + +Aggravating whelp that he was, he demanded an update on their mission into The Tower and wanted to know if they’d collected any information of value.

Joffrey took the lead and, in broad strokes, went over their escapades, alluding to them failing to either stop The Tower, or collect much information on its magic. He did, however, mention that they’d run into a certain gnome and took great pleasure in recounting how he’d claimed to have lain with Solkanaar’s mother.
 +Tactfully, he omitted the cyborg starfish, their encounter with the devils, Bubba’s current condition or their new directive. + +Bubba began to ask if they should tell him about the snake and Joffrey shushed him, leading to him being slapped by Bubba. Outraged, he began to admonish him and was slapped again, before he finally held out a glowing hand to his chest and suggested he’d cast Heat Metal on his little friend if he did that again. + +The argument fizzled out as a frustrated dragon complained about their lack of progress, announcing he had a new task for them, and would be sequestering Squelch for something else. + +They were to locate his younger brother, “Big D” who worked in a secret lab somewhere isolated; he talked in cryptic terms about how he was smaller than him and gave vague directions. + +They needed to track him down, take him to a lab and secure important materials that would need to be brought back; No harm was to come to Big D as he was quite fond of him. + +Previously, an exploratory expedition had been sent to this lab and none of the goblins had returned, something had gone terribly wrong. + +Joffrey cut in with a joke of how “Big D” sounded like he must be Hoover’s bastard child and the group began to laugh. Bubba said he was probably small because he was only half dragon and would be a gnomish Dragonborn and they all doubled over, tears in their eyes. + +Solkanaar seethed and spluttered, furious and embarrassed as he grabbed Squelch and said they had to be off for him to issue commands to the goblin army; he left the party gasping for air in their mirth. + +Gathering themselves after a few minutes of further remarks of this brother’s dubious heritage, the three set off into the wilderness. Tiefstein wheeled his new bagpipes from his back with practiced ease and laid on a bolstering rendition of “Crazy Train”, the beat punctuated by gouts of fire. + +They made good progress, but soon left the beaten path and Autismus decided to look for signs of other travellers. + +Scrabbling on the ground through some litter like an animal, he produced a cigarette butt and made a grand study of its construction, sniffing it to see if he could determine where it came from. + +He screwed up his face and concentrated for a brief second, then the moment passed and he decided he couldn’t tell, lighting it and taking a puff anyway. + +Even while disgusted and distracted by this behaviour, Bubba was able to find a game trail and got them moving again. + +Tiefstein investigated some foreign tracks, deducing that a band of goblins had definitely passed through here not that long ago, and they set off to follow them. + +Von Autingler cast around with his magical senses and felt a disturbance in the ether; focusing on the area, he was able to find a single set of large tracks that went off into the nearby bushes. + +Bubba studied them meticulously, finding a second set of smaller tracks obscured in the disturbed soil; It appeared that something like a large bear was pursuing a smaller creature wearing shoes, that may have been limping. + +Cautiously, they followed them into the undergrowth and soon came to a small clearing, across which they spied an enormous owlbear scratching at the base of a tree, looking into the canopy. + +In the branches was a small, hooded figure that began to scream for help at the sight of them, clinging to the bark for dear life as it was rattled by the creature. + +Bravely, Joffrey moved behind the others, taking careful aim with his crossbow and quietly shooting the animal in the back. + +The bolt was robbed of almost all momentum by the thick, white fur and feathers, barely doing more than announcing their presence, causing the beast to turn towards them. + +It roared its challenge and charged across the short distance. + +Getting a whiff of Autismus upwind, it cringed and barrelled into Bubba instead, snapping and rending with beak and claws. + +As Bubba traded blows with it, the deviant went into a rage and rushed to close, bonking it with his staff, causing eruptions of sparks as electricity pulsed into it. + +The conflict was a brief but brutal affair, with Joffrey’s Thunderwave knocking it back after bubba was wounded further, and Autismus violently hammered it with magic missiles. + +With little reverence for the newly departed, Bubba set to tearing it’s claws out and Joffrey, after some debate on whether they even had feathers, plucked some from it’s head. + +Descending from his refuge, they finally got a clear look at their damsel in distress, a halfling sized Dragonborn who introduced himself as “Dyson”. + +The trio could see Hoover’s likeness in the lad and had another small laugh among themselves, when questioned, explaining he just reminded them of his father. + +Joffrey asked if he had any powerful magic like his sire, but he replied that he didn’t follow in his footsteps; instead he was an inventor and had a passion for machinery and contraptions. + +Very casually, they asked him if he knew anything about mechanical snakes, and while fascinated by the idea, he admitted he did not. + +Dyson advised that they had to find his courier, a goblin that he’d lost track of in the struggle earlier, that was carrying important wares. + +In short order, they located a small, pasty figure shambling around, with chains attached to his neck that Dyson seized to lead him by. + +The smiling goblin was a truly gruesome sight, horrifically ugly, undead and in an advanced state of decay, with an impossible combination of both dry and gelatinous skin sloughing off it. + +Dyson introduced it as “Rob Zomblin” and chuckled to himself at some small joke before elaborating that he was the perfect candidate to carry hazardous goods without concern. + +Autismus approached to talk to this oddity and Joffrey hissed at him to stay away from it, getting the sense from its friendly countenance that it would never shut up. + +The deviant paid him no heed and greeted the corpse, causing it to perk up and begin rambling, querying if they had heard of “world zombie appreciation day” and other inanities. + +Grinding the heels of his hands into his eyes, Joffrey groaned and suggested that Autismus should hold his chain and keep and eye on him as he motioned for the others to walk ahead. + +Unbothered, the simpletons squared began to chat, with Von Autingler proffering him some tobacco, which he enthusiastically took, puffing away, smoke escaping from rotted holes in his chest and neck. + +What was left of the goblin gleefully showcased the elaborate breastplate, dagger and ring that he was wearing, to his new, and only friend. + +Dyson noticed this exchange and absently called back that they shouldn’t touch anything that the zombie possessed, it was all horribly cursed. + +Autismus pointed out the ring and Roblin simply tore off his decayed finger, generously offering it to the primitive with an easy smile. + +Despite the warning of curses, the madman toyed with the severed finger, conflicted about picking it up, prodding it around on the rotted hand. + +Ultimately he managed to control himself and took his hand away, but suddenly Bubba appeared and snatched up the ring, sliding it immediately on to his finger, admiring it. +Dyson began to get flustered and explained the functions of the ring, that it would likely kill him under the right circumstances and suggested they get it to his lab immediately. + +As they quickly marched behind the dragonborn, Autismus held Roblin’s chain with the cheery goblin walking beside him, disgusting hand draped on his shoulder, leaving all manner of debris and fluids behind. + +After travelling for some time, they arrived at a cliff-face in a mountain range with a natural cave opening, wherein was embedded a finely cut stone wall. In the centre of the wall was a gargantuan, round, stone door with a square tablet to one side of it, flanked by a series of wall sconces. + +Dyson approached without concern and placed his clawed hand on the tablet, causing the sconces to burst alight and the door to begin to sink into the wall, before rolling to one side. + +Through the massive portal, they could see what once was a grand and well appointed entryway, now littered with desiccated goblin corpses and broken glass. + +“Woops, wrong floor” he said, fiddling with the device again as the door cycled closed, then re-opened to reveal a different room with a pristine foyer. + +The walls were polished steel with a couple of doors to the right and one on the left; there was a lush red carpet down the centre with a glass partition visible at the far end. + +The short dragonborn entered and immediately went through the first door on the right, as the others milled about, glancing around the foyer. + +After a few seconds they suddenly heard some muffled sounds from the room that Dyson had gone in to, and quickly followed to see what was happening. + +They entered what appeared to be small workspace with a couple of desks covered in writing materials, books and scrolls and in one corner, they could see a knot of quivering tentacles. + +In the midst of this nightmare was their new companion, mostly encompassed by the writhing mass and they wasted no time in trying to help. + +Joffrey cried out and asked if he was ok but got no coherent response, just a series of muffled noises, he didn’t seem able to communicate. + +A torrent of magic missiles hammered into the creature and Joffrey raised his crossbow to fire, before an alarmed Dyson was released and shouted for them to stop. + +He explained that this slimy mutant was his work colleague, “Flapjack” and he was just excited to see him, giving him an embrace. + +Autismus apologised and expressed that he would like to attempt to heal him to make amends, but it was explained that Flapjack’s people fed on emotions and didn’t need potions or other conventional medicines. + +Unprompted, the disgusting creature floated forwards and began wrapping its tentacles around him, and the lunatic could feel a presence in his mind, shuffling through this emotions. + +Although somewhat abhorred by what it found, there were plenty of strong emotions for it to feed upon and in short order, it was feeling better. + +Tiefstein’s eyes narrowed and his mouth began to turn down in contempt of this monster; what sort of foul spawn fed on emotions ? + +After this initial tumult had settled, Dyson asked the sentient spaghetti where his research notes were as they needed to get his controller to get the facility functional. +Wobbling around one of the desks, the levitating lunch snaked a tendril into a drawer and handed the reptilian an item. + +Armed with the necessary device, Dyson advised that they could now fire up the laboratory, he explained it was a “collider” of sorts and it could forge new magical items. + +In particular, their research focused on the creation of “Ioun Stones”, with the contraption taking sources of magical energy, cursed or otherwise, and compressing them into the desired form. + +The two doors opposite each other, further down the main foyer, lead to loading bays at opposite ends of the machine; simply place two magical items in, shut the door and activate the collider. + +Autistically rambling, as he had a tendency to do, he mentioned that the last time they had tried a comparable experiment, something had gone wrong, but he felt confident it would work this time. + +Joffrey suspiciously asked him what had happened last time, and he nonchalantly spoke of there being a tear in reality, the original machine not being ready yet, and everyone dying. + +When questioned further about how Flapjack survived this event, he explained that the pulsating pasta didn’t have a soul and thus, could not be drawn into the resulting rift. He’d been employed primarily as a test pilot, among other things, and was one of the finest pilots the dragonborn knew. + +In addition to this revision of the machine being more refined, it was also smaller than the “alpha collider” and should be safer. + +Tiefstein opined that this entity sounded like an empty vessel, not having a soul, and would probably be susceptible to possession; he didn’t trust, or like him. + +Suddenly, he felt a presence in his mind, the monster was expressing that it was offended by his remarks. “Good.” thought the outraged businessman, and attempted to fortify his thoughts. + +Not noticing this exchange, the neurodivergent engineer produced a small magical object and said that if they could provide more magical sources, they could operate the collider. He re-iterated that two items would be required per Ioun Stone, and alternatively, he could accept empowered gems if they had any; they did not. + +Joffrey asked if he could safely remove the cursed ring from Bubba’s finger now that they had gotten him back to his lab, but the dragonborn evasively said he’d never promised he could do that. + +There was only one option open to them, they would have to cut off Bubba’s finger to free him from the ring… + +Bubba strangely wasn’t resistant to this idea and said that he would rather do it himself and remove his finger with acid. + +They were all somewhat dumbfounded by this and protested, but the halfling moved off down the tunnel and, true to his resolve, melted off his finger with acid. + +The ring fell to the metal floor-plates with a clear pinging noise that curiously tugged on the mind, beginning to roll unnaturally- before it was unceremoniously tossed into the collider on the tip of Bubba’s fishing knife. + +He closed the heavy steel door and sealed it, gripping the lever with his now mutilated hand, twisting it into position with no small effort. + +Autismus rummaged around in his grubby robes before drawing forth a basic magical sword, saying he would insert that in the other loading bay as he headed down the corridor. +He hadn’t gone far before he ran into something in the dark; a soft and pliable wall that was warm and somewhat… gelatinous. + +Crying out, he sprang backwards just as he was beginning to feel himself being drawn into this mass, that now started to jiggle and wriggle it’s way down the narrow passage towards him. + +He turned and ran back the way he had came, ducking as a pseudopod formed on the undulating surface and struck at his head, narrowly missing. + +Bursting back into the control room, he met quizzical stares with deranged ramblings about a “big suck cube down the hallway.” + +Joffrey asked him if he’d been smoking weed again and Autismus tersely corrected him that it was “Old Toby” and no, he hadn’t been. + +His snarky remark punctuated by by the release of a firebolt through the entrance, sizzling as it met the gooey substance now squeezing its way through the portal. + +With a wet “Schlock” it tore itself free of the passage and flopped forwards, colliding with Roblin and Autismus; the former being sucked inside, while the latter managed to prise his gummed limbs free before it completely took hold. + +As the zombie sank inside the interior of the cube, it left a film of sloughed off skin and other debris on its outer surface, a simple smile on its face as it accepted the embrace of its new friend. + +Springing into action, Bubba began slashing at it as it was engulfed in fire from Autismus, igniting it like a massive lump of candle wax.

The flames were split by a bright streak too quick for the eye to follow, that plunged inside the cube, striking Roblin in the head, slowly rocking it back in the viscous material. + +Blinking away the afterimage, they could now see a bolt protruding from his eye socket with “Bunker Buster” emblazoned on the shaft. Glancing toward the source, they saw Joffrey down on one knee, lowering his now spent crossbow, pumping his fist in open satisfaction. + +Writhing and twisting, the primitive shape squeezed it’s occupant, it’s acid having a visible effect as the last of his artificial life force fled him. + +Roblin gazed out through the cloudy mess in confusion and said “Mr Autingler, I don’t feel so good…” before he melted away, his form losing cohesion, leaving only a nebula of fragments suspended in the goop. + +The lunatic, given a moments pause by this scene, hastily ducked as a newly formed tentacle lashed the air by his head like a whip. + +The halfling and half-minded attacked with renewed vigour, hooks tearing and fire burning, while Joffrey half-heartedly twanged another bolt into it, his target now gone. + +With a final plop, the goo rolled forwards onto Autismus, encasing him in acidic slime that began to burn his flesh.

Two pinpricks of light began to glow inside it and it violently exploded, painting the walls of the control room and revealing the madman’s blazing eyes, having summoned the superior powers of a tiefling. + +Dyson, having done nothing throughout this drama, commented that Roblin was gone; “oh no, anyway” said the businessman, already summoning his mage hand to collect the cursed dagger. + +There was a brief, confused exchange as Autismus wanted to put the cursed breastplate in, and Joffrey stood down the let him have his fun. +He strode off down the passage the cube had emerged from, arriving at a dumb-waiter style receptacle with “insert item here” painted on it, and deposited it. + +Once the breastplate had joined The Ring at the opposite end of the machine, Dyson fiddle with the controls and threw a large lever. + +Everyone’s hair stood on end as there was a massive build up of energy throughout the structure; gauges approached the redline and klaxons began blaring as the contraption approached critical. + +Finally there was a colossal thump followed by a rushing sound, as the floor vibrated, as though they stood at the foot of a waterfall, and just as suddenly, there was silence.

“Ding!” A drawer, with a now-glowing green gem on the front, slid open from under the control panel and the dragonborn stooped to reach inside. As he straightened, a strange stone levitated out at his touch and began to orbit his head and he appeared to be ecstatic, proclaiming his success. + +Giddy at seeing his construct operate, the small engineer danced from foot to foot, encouraging them to load more materials and do it again.

The sorcerer drew a simple magic short sword from under his robes, enthusiastically obedient, and the fisherman hooked the dagger from the floor, dangling it along the opposite corridor. + +Reloaded, Dyson triggered the device again and once more there was a tremendous accumulation and discharge of energy, although the reverberations felt more violent. + +Joffrey’s eyes narrowed as they felt a series of what seemed like distant tremors or explosions throughout the facility, as the dragonborn removed another fresh Ioun Stone. + +Like a toddler with his favourite rattle, the lizard drunkenly giggled and asked for more items, oblivious to any potential danger. + +Tiefstein confirmed that they didn’t have any more disposable magic items, and in any case, triggering the machine again might be too dangerous, something seemed wrong. + +He herded him away from the controls, back to his workroom and suggested he study the stones they’d produced already, to determine their functions. + +Thirty or so minutes of idling around later, more rumbling shook the underground structure and there seemed to be an earthquake in process. + +Joffrey grabbed Dyson by the arm and forced him to listen to his reasoning, explaining that if they didn’t leave immediately, all this research would likely be lost, along with their lives. + +His honeyed words burrowed into the small man’s mind, compelling them to obey, as he whipped open his Bag of Holding and deftly swept the contents of their desk into it. + +Gathering the party, they started to rush towards the large round entrance to the facility, but Joffrey halted them and frowned when he noticed the many limbed creature floating along with them. + +He asked if Flapjack should be coming with them, and Autismus defensively stepped in front of the monster, pleading his nonsensical case with a glint of deviance in his eyes, saying he should be allowed as he has tentacles. + +The rumbling resumed and intensified making them unsteady on their feet, and the matter was quickly deemed unimportant as they rushed outside. + +No longer under threat of being trapped in a cave-in, they began their long trek back towards the town, tremors coming intermittently. +As the sun dipped below the horizon, they chose to settle down for the evening to rest, except for Dyson, who spent the night immersed in his studies. + +With the coming of dawn they roused themselves and began to break camp, however they noticed something strange in the distance; large vines could be seen visibly growing into the sky in all directions. + +Disturbed by this development, they resumed their march with haste, quickly arriving at a region on the outskirts of the town where there were now large rents in the earth where vines continued to sprout. + +They found that where a particularly large specimen had erupted, it’s low-hanging, massive leaves created a relatively safe path that they could climb across and they charged over. + +Coming to the other side, they heard something behind them and turned just in time to see five plant-like humanoids emerging from the trunk, seeming hostile. + +Bubba attacked with blinding speed, his dart and hooks tearing one of them apart and he smirked, looking at Joffrey “your turn” he said. + +Not breaking eye contact, the immortal bard nonchalantly raised one of his hands, palm outward toward the organic orangutans, and with a peal of thunder, three of them were bowled over, careening down the crevasse. + +With a smug look, Tiefstein moved his eyes to Autismus and repeated the phrase “your turn”, thumbing over his shoulder at the final haggard looking survivor. + +Chattering dementedly with glee, the sorcerer enveloped the final plant in flames, reducing it to ashes, and they all turned to walk away. + +There was an agitated rustling as three more individuals melted out of the verdant stalk and once more Bubba lashed out, this time failing to kill his target, and again, Joffrey blasted the trio from the vines. + +Near immediately, three more emerged and fire erupted from the madman, injuring and igniting them but they kept coming and the situation began to look more serious. + +Hooks, sinkers and crossbow bolts assailed them, felling one but still, they advanced and reached the bard, seizing him by the throat, immobilising him as he was choked. + +Magic missiles peppered the leaved low-life but it refused to relinquish its grasp, beginning to collapse its prey’s windpipe, his previous self-assured gaze becoming one of desperation. + +The rest of the party began to retreat, defensively arrayed in front of their guests, as new sprouts began to burst from the hard packed earth, lashing and writhing around their ankles. + +Snagged and nearly caught, Bubba and Autismus yanked their feet free and sprinted back from the forming snarl, Joffrey’s now panicked gurgles wafting across the battlefield as he watched his dependants abandon him. + +With a final, desperate surge of strength, the bard managed to throw off his attacker and madly dashed through the now knee-high growth, deftly darting between them as he rummaged in his coat. + +Pulling forth a pot of oil, he starting flinging it behind him as he ran and yelled at the sorcerer, wildly gesturing at the slick. + +The lunatic furrowed his brow in incomprehension, then took a final drag on his joint, flicking it towards his comrade in a rare glimmer of understanding, igniting the substance. + + +The oily vines were virtually natural wicks, the flames hungrily rising up their length, forming a wall of fire that halted the pursuit of their attackers as the group made their escape. + +Cresting the final rise, they arrived at the outskirts of the Sieg-Hell and from their vantage could see the mayhem unfolding below. + +Many buildings had been levelled by the earthquakes and others were being crushed by colossal coiling creepers, or swallowed by the widening rifts plaguing the landscape. + +In the far centre of town, the Ivory Tower was visible, now far larger than before, trembling and visibly glowing with crackling energies. + +Struggling to come to terms with what they were seeing, the party stood in awe on the ridge watching their home being destroyed, and all Joffrey’s thoughts were of his livelihood tumbling into an abyss. + +*To be continued.* + + + + + + + diff --git a/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 8.md b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 8.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..eb61681 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 8.md @@ -0,0 +1,195 @@ +16/8/2025 - ***The Goo, the Bad, and the Flapjack*** + +The earth split open, cobblestones and twisted metal were cast about before being turned to molten slag by the tremendous energies radiating from The Ivory Tower. As though a giant's fist had grasped it, it was violently uprooted, debris showering down and crushing everything in the vicinity as it was freed from its terrestrial mooring. + +The section that emerged from the stone was progressively wider than that which came before; flaring out and displacing ever more of the grounds with each cataclysmic moment. + +On the far side of town, on a ridge overlooking the great swath of broken buildings, the party watched as the grand erection thundered skyward, shattering windows as it penetrated the heavens. In short order, all that could be seen through the wound in the clouds was a faint twinkling; that too faded, til it was lost in the familiar cosmic mural. + +Emerging from their reverie, they saw the tremendous crater remaining where The Tower once stood, and slowly took in the numerous expanding vines tearing their way upwards among the ruins of Seeg-Hell. + +Considering the turmoil, the town stood eerily still, and casting around they were unable to spot any of the oozes that were the final vestiges of the populace. + +It began to dawn on them that the puddles of viscous, blue fluid that furnished the landscape must be their remnants, now that the last of their life-force had been extracted. + +Similar to those that had attacked them on the road, there were verdant humanoids emerging from many of the larger plants, with groups of them lapping at the azure pools of people puree. + +Despair and displeasure washed over them as they were assailed by Flapjack’s projected emotions; the tentacled beast quivered and flailed around forlornly, unable to contain itself. + +Joffrey was the first to get a handle on himself and began asking Dyson for input on how they could safely traverse the streets and get to the lighthouse. + +The small engineer began to rapidly blather tangentially, momentarily mentioning that he theorised the plant people would be empowered by lightning, amidst his autistic ramblings. + +That was disconcerting and the bard asked if he was certain, then proposed experimenting on something, and asked if Flapjack was a type of plant person.

Dyson advised that he wasn’t a plant, he was made of ectoplasm. + +“So he’s a goo person ?” Queried Tiefstein, “well no, they’re different things…” the dragonborn clarified as he began to ramble on again, “Well they all look the same to me.” Shrugged Joffrey. + +He gave the goo monster a side-eye and cast Message on Bubba, preferring telepathy to talking openly in front of their guests. + +He attempted to clear the air, feeling that there had been a strange discord between them recently that became most obvious when Bubba had had an outburst and struck him earlier. He tried to reinforce that he was working in their best interest, and doing what he could to stop them from being killed by one of the two factions they found themselves trapped between. + +He apologised if he’d done something to upset him and swore he would do all he could to rid the halfling of his passenger, but due to it’s nature, he couldn’t overtly act around him. + +Further to this, he asked for the fisherman’s opinion on which faction they should be aiding; he felt drawn towards the devils, given the queens greed was bleeding them dry. (And her son was a dick) +The goblin might not appreciate this attitude though, and he wasn’t sure if they should make a firm decision in his absence.

Turning to include Autismus in their subtle aside, they noticed a flutter of tiny wings above them and watched as a small, red imp descended from the sky, alighted on the lunatic’s shoulder, and lit a cigarette. + +Unsurprised by anything that occurred around that conscious calamity, Joffrey simply rolled his eyes, said “Funny looking cat.” And turned away again; it wasn’t worth the bother engaging in his nonsense.

Though it did have two horns, two arms and two legs, so Tiefstein was at least satisfied that it classed as a real person. + +Speaking of the inhuman, he was distracted by the squiggly glop wobbling its way over. + +It paused and caressed Autismus, causing the imp to cackle dementedly as the businessman looked on in disgust, proclaiming it to be a HR issue. + +The baked banana simply grinned lewdly at the monstrosity and said “don’t mind that bigot.” + +Having had enough of this freak show, Joffrey began pointing at each member of their motley group in turn, demanding options to make their way to the lighthouse safely. + +Von Autingler put forth that his new winged companion could turn invisible and scout ahead, but was worried about him being killed as he was small and fragile. + +Several elaborate schemes were aired among them, such as travelling through sewers/tunnelling, fighting their way through, etcetera. + +After several minutes of this, the halfling piped up and announced that they COULD do that, or, he could simply cast a spell to mask their presence, and they could stealthily pass through the town. + +They all nodded and he proceeded with uncanny skill, allowing them to swiftly make their way past the aggressive flora and arrive at Tiefstein Tower. + +Much had changed since they’d departed the previous day, most notably, there were now a pair of large spherical outbuildings attached to either side of the lighthouse at ground level. + +The bard grinned, hands on hips, and proclaimed that their new ship appeared to have a lot of thrust, as he waggled his eyebrows. + +Their mirth was immediately interrupted by distressed cries coming from the building and they noticed one the hamsters on the first floor balcony, attempting to get their attention. + +The object of its terror was a giant mass of plant matter that was battering against the main entrance.

Rolling up his sleeves, Joffrey told Dyson not to worry, this wasn’t the first time he’d had to kick a vegetable out of his bar. + +Inwardly he was less confident; looking at the roiling mass of vegetation with its many tentacle-like vines, he decided it was probably best to avoid it and escape before the town was destroyed. + +Thinking quickly, he pointed to the first floor balcony and asked if Bubba could get his grappling hook up there and allow them to climb inside. + +The smug halfling attached it to the end of his rod and deftly cast it over the railing with practiced ease, securing the other end to a nearby lamp post. + +Wasting no time, he leapt on top of the taut wire and scampered up it to the hamsters, with Autismus climbing under it not far behind him. + +Watching this display, the cocky bard jumped atop the wire and tried to emulate his peer, but began to wobble uncertainly halfway up as Dyson followed him below.

Just as he was regaining his balance, the dragonborn cried out and grabbed his ankle for support, sending them both to the cobbles, right behind of the monstrous monstera. + +The businessman landed poorly, almost splitting his head open, as the small engineer landed on top of him, uninjured. + +Groaning and beginning to stand, he was suddenly hit with tremendous force and smashed into the rocks once more, breaking some ribs; the ferocious fern had noticed them. + +Kicking frantically, he managed to squirm free of the snaring vines trying to constrict him and snapped his fingers, his eyes flaring to light as he caused the creature to erupt into flames.

Dishearteningly, this didn't seem to be as effective as he'd hoped, and he drew out his locket, looking at the picture of his resplendent self inside, gaining inspiration. + +Thinking of himself, he lashed out with his sword and dagger, and although sap oozed from the small cuts he was able to deliver, it's bark-like hide was too tough to do any real damage. + +Now noticing their benefactor's desperate situation, Bubba and Autismus began to rain hell from the balcony, but even the torrents of flame and usually lethal darts were proving ineffective. + +Joffrey was finally seized by the vines and dashed against the hard stones like a ragdoll, "Get your hands off my penis! That's the creature that touched me on the penis, there! Ah yes, i see you know your judo well..." he cried out between being bludgeoned, now close to death. + +Panicked, and not having any combat experience, the ebony skinned lizard man rummaged around in his robes and threw something at Joffrey.

"I don't know what this does, but I hope it helps..." he muttered meekly, his face a quivering mask of fear.

The projectile bounced off his barely conscious skull, then began to levitate and orbit his head; it was one of the Ioun stones that they'd created in the lab at Brown Mesa. + +More darts and magic missiles pounded into the top of the grumpy greenery, and chunks of pulpy material were blasted off by the continued assault, causing it to loosen the grip on its captive. + +As he fell to the ground once more, body hopelessly broken, looking up at the writhing tree-trunk-like appendages moments from destroying him, he reflected on his life and aspirations. He thought of all the profit he would never make, and shedding a single tear, realised that no-one would even remember his name. + +Suddenly he became aware of something... intangible, indescribable, and reached out towards it hesitantly with his mind.

As he brushed against this unusual presence, the monster in front of him began to slow, but it was more than that, everything began to slow, then stop. + +An after-image appeared around things that had previously been in motion, a ghostly haze that seemed to slowly separate from the static forms, then began to move in reverse.

Joffrey became aware of other...possibilities, other chains of events that both were, and could be...

He saw a foggy vision of himself standing before the creature, in much better health, looking up at the second vine descending towards him, and mentally reached towards it.

Reality violently lurched and he was in the place of his double, a massive green limb whipping towards him, and he dodged. + +He could see a disorienting, ethereal leading edge to vine, as though glimpsing where it was going to be, as well as where it was, and it allowed him an extra heartbeat to get out of the way. + +He guzzled a potion that caused his wounds to close and, having witnessed the alternative, this time he ran, repeating his jokes about the vine touching him on the penis as he fled.
 +Racing back to the zip line, he cuffed Dyson out of his whimpering, and rapidly climbed the wire. + +Only for history to repeat itself; he fell. + +In his panic, reliving those moments from another lifetime, he cried out, certain that he was going to meet his eternal rest. + +However this time he felt something hit him in the back and he suddenly surged upwards, as Bubba’s carefully placed hook yanked him within reach of the rope, and he scurried to safety. + +Joffrey breathed a ragged sigh of relief as he lent against the railing; opening his eyes again, he saw that the danger hadn’t passed and Dyson was still at the base of the rope, struggling to climb. + +The small dragonborn was reaching for the tether when the courtyard began to quake, a massive rent beginning to form across its width, and he lost his footing. + +Sensing his sudden vulnerability, the plant advanced rapidly, tendrils stretching towards him as the tears in its flesh slowly began to close. Bubba was still winding his rod and with no obvious options presenting themselves, Autismus took a gamble and cast Darkness upon the furious flora. + +Suddenly robbed of its life-giving sunshine, the plant hesitated, twisting around attempting to regain the light, and Dyson regained his footing, rushing up the rope in a blind panic. + +Attempting to assist him, the maniac sent forth his imp, who tried in vain to lift the bulky lizard, only hindering him with its rudimentary intelligence. + +Fortunately he made it over the railing and no sooner had his feet touched the stone, he was racing after Flapjack who was swiftly floating inside the building. + +They all followed as the Hamsters lead them to the new engine room, where they saw the sentient spaghetti launch itself into the Spelljammer throne, plugging its various appendages into recesses and gripping controls.

The lighthouse began to list as the edge of the widening crevasse reached its boundary and without warning there was a loud explosion.

With a roar the floor raced up to meet them, and most were able to frantically hang on to whatever was at hand, however Joffrey was slammed onto his back, partially broken bones screaming in protest. + +Although they were unable to see it from the bowels of the structure, for the second time today, a grand building resplendent in black and gold, joined the stars in the heavens.

Despite the pain, the bard’s face split into a grin and he dragged his harp across his body, strumming an ancient tune he'd learned from an astral trader, called “Rocket Man”. + +When the violent ascent of Tiefstein Tower had tapered off, the crew made their way to the observation deck at the pinnacle of the lighthouse, gazing down at the foreign view of their planet.

Just in time to see it constricted by rapidly growing, continent sized vines. + +Unable to process this roiling cauldron of emotions, they stood a silent vigil, surveying the end of the world; It was all the more bizarre that, from their vantage in the void, such a cataclysm could occur without sound. + +Joffrey put his hands in his pockets, wistfully saying a wordless prayer for any residual wealth he may have left behind, and felt a small parchment that he’d forgotten about.

Withdrawing the small square, he held it up and laughed softly at the two words on the paper that he’d written days ago, after fleeing the Ivory Tower.

“Snake Jazz”

There was little time to unpack this tangential thought as he was interrupted by panicked shouts from Dyson.

The small engineer relayed that Flapjack had scried a flotilla of ships nearby, arrayed in a line, and two were approaching their position.

The rest of the vessels turned, and in a flare of arcane light from their engines, sped into the distance, engaging their faster than light drives.

Another warning came that one of the two remaining ships was on an intercept course, accelerating rapidly towards them, seemingly hostile. + +The business man quickly took charge of the situation, calling for options and asking if they could outrun them.

Dyson didn’t believe so, not at sub-light speed at least, the ship wasn’t fully operational after its modifications and the warp drive would take time to charge before they could jump. + +Thinking quickly, he glanced up at the large gemstone hovering above them, enthralled by its magical apparatus and asked if they could use the big suck gem to fire an energy beam at the enemy. + +The small lizard was baffled by this proposal and similarly, when relayed to the Hamsters through Bubba, they too had no knowledge of how this construct worked, it wasn’t part of the spelljammer. + +Joffrey indicated that Autismus should stay with him on the bridge while the others returned to engineering; being the two most magically gifted, they would have to do their best to figure this out.

Feeling this was a critical moment, the bard decided to look to a higher power, and surveyed a majestic parody portrait of himself, depicted as god, reaching down from the clouds to bless early humans. + +Inspired by his own grandeur and with this endeavour calling for mindless violence, he placed the deranged sorcerer at the controls for the big suck, while he sat in an ornate chair to be his command throne. + +Calling the engine room through a hollow tube connecting the two locations, he spoke with Bubba who had assumed the role of chief engineer, working with the rest of the crew. + +They were doing what they could to evade what had been identified as a Moth-class ship, attempting to further increase their speed, but time was running out. + +The two mystics worked the controls in tandem, pushing every button combination they could devise, the glowing, gilded runes guttering as they attempted to activate the mechanism. + +Tiefstein struck the bulkhead in frustration, it was useless, there was nothing in the void to drain...

Autismus' eyes practically crossed as he seemed to struggle with an internal voice momentarily. "What if we drained ... me ?" he asked uncertainly.

Joffrey looked at him as though he were insane, although that was normal, but hesitated for a moment himself as he considered the possibility.

"How old are you again ? You might have 80 or more years ahead of you, I doubt we'd need more than a few decades; this could save all of our lives" He mused.

The pipe weed enthusiast spluttered and jabbered, seemingly confused and non-committal about how old he was, as though this were something he'd never considered before.

However, before he could continue his rambling, the great bard said with finality that this was irrelevant, it would be madness to sacrifice him without trying all other possibilities. + +He called the engine room again, and suggested plotting a course for what had been a densely populated area before the vines sprouted, to see if they could suck any life energy from the remaining goop. + +Bubba did his best to relay this to Flapjack, who was frantically manoeuvring the ship, but all he got were panicked mental impressions from the creature, and he advised Joffrey they were doing what they could.

"Don't give me excuses, give me results!" the businessman snapped, watching the moth ship grow in dimensions and begin to arm their ballista. + +Apparently understanding their needs after all, the ship suddenly changed course and sped towards some manner of diffuse debris in orbit. + +As they got closer, it became apparent that these were some manner of void lifeforms, not dissimilar to jellyfish and Joffrey enthusiastically called for Autismus to try again.

They were gonna suck up some disgusting goo monsters. + +This time, the arcane script adorning the chains of the great crystal flared to life, and a wave of energy burst forth, flowing out through the entities, then reversed direction, building in intensity as it drew their life-force back to the lighthouse. + +All that remained were withered husks adrift, however the stone now thrummed and glowed a ghostly green with power; it was partially charged, in their estimation enough for one shot. + +This wasn't time for half measures, this was life or death and Joffrey called the engine room for more power.

Chief engineer Bubba glanced around frantically and in a moment of clarity knew what he must do; he would inject alchemical reagents directly into the engines, overloading them, and hopefully direct the power to the command deck. + +Rifling through his belt pouch, he withdrew three vials; one of mystery powder from a corpse in the Ivory Tower, one of dead replicator dust and a vial of yeti blood.

With a demented cry he sucked and snorted all three into his system, swished them around in his mouth, then opened a hatch on the drives, spitting them all straight into the roiling inferno within. + +Dyson and the hamsters looked on in disbelief and horror, this was madness, this could never work, it was impossible. + +Yet the deck bucked and rolled as a massive surge of magical energy exploded into being inside the engine manifold, miraculously contained. With a thump, a conduit leading straight up began to glow cherry-red as the surge was redirected towards the tip of the craft. + +The big suck gem blazed like a dying star as it was filled to the brim, and Joffrey gave the order to fire everything they had at the enemy vessel.

The phallic craft reversed direction, now facing the moth ship point-first, rapidly closing the remaining distance, moments from collision.

"Now!" cried the bard, watching with faltering confidence as the madman stood indecisively, hand hovering over two large glowing buttons.

"How do i do it, i'm not sure what i can use to fire this thing !?" sputtered the lunatic, tongue protruding from the corner of his mouth.

"Just push the gods-damned button with your hand!" screamed Tiefstein. + +Inspired by this sudden revelation that he did indeed have hands, Autismus finally pressed the button and was blinded by the sudden release of flaring light overhead. + +A coruscating lance streamed forcefully from the tip of the lighthouse, through the silence of the heavens, and slammed into the heart of the enemy vessel, causing it to careen out of control as its engines were destroyed. + +Cheers of victory soon turned to cries of alarm as they realised they were still on a collision course and Bubba raced to offer support to Flapjack.

Leaping in front of the Spelljammer throne, he stumbled and slapped one of the alien's disgusting tentacles off of a joystick, causing the ship to roll along its axis instead of changing course. + +Every member of crew were thrown into walls and ceilings as the moth collided with the engine room, tearing an enormous hole in the fortified stone as the ships merged haphazardly. + +Blinking dust and debris from their eyes as they sat up, they saw large humanoid silhouettes through the clouds of steam emerging from the hole in the ship.

"Prepare to repel boarders..." came the haggard voice of their leader through the comms tube. + +*To be continued.* + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + diff --git a/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 9 (Notes).md b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 9 (Notes).md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ae3355b --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 9 (Notes).md @@ -0,0 +1,191 @@ +21/9/2025 + +Enemy ship has crashed into the basement *

giant female space elves attack, 3 giant ones 8ft tall “for the empress”, one smaller one in the rear + +Bubba: death by snu snu + +autismus teleports down and targets first elfstarte with magic missile for 17 + +bubba attacks same one after hunters mark and misses with first attack, hits with second and does 25 dmg and then 18 + +Joffrey knows that elves are immune to charm coz fae ancestry, puts heat metal on middle elfstarte, does 8 dmg and they crit fail their save against disadvantage + +elfstarte moves up, two by dyson and flapjack, one tangled up in fishing rod, attacking bubba + +flapjack got missed, Dyson got hit, 8 dmg + +smaller elf heals the tangled, injured elfstarte significantly + +Autismus using big lightning staff lightning line attack, elfstarte succeeds save, elf mage fails, 28 dmg + +bubba circles around and attacks mage/priest, hits, 6dmg + 9dmg + +joffrey re-heats metal, does 13 dmg, they fail their save and have disadvantage again, drinks potion, gets back 8 hp + +Joffrey yells at Dyson to do something, he uses his small breath attack on the elfstartes in front of him, didn’t do much damage + +hamsters squeak and seemingly flee onto the enemy ship + +disadvantaged one leaves flapjack and starts attacking autismus, hit for 8, misses second attack. autismus hellish rebuke for 15 dmg + +dyson being attacked again, they miss him + +bubba gets attacked, hit by elfstarte, 5 dmg + 10 with glowing a revving + +elf mage casts a spell, radiant fire rains down on bubba, 12 dmg after dex save + +autismus burning hands his attacker and incinerates it + +bubba attacks priestess again, does 8dmg + 8dmg + +joffrey runs over to defend Dyson, thunderwave for 13 dmg, pushes their attacker back, moves up to body block Dyson, condescendingly says “dad do” + +elfstarte rushes back and attacks Joffrey with 2 swords, misses first attack, hits with second 25 dmg, instantly downs him + +priest attacks bubba with their morningstar, hits with first, misses second, does 16 dmg. bubba really low (11) + +autismus circles and hits elfstarte and priestess with burning hands, 9dmg to both, priestess died, elfstarte looking bad. + +bubba attacks his remaining elfstarte and does 6dmg + 9dmg, elfstarte on their last legs + +elfstarte on joffrey downs dyson as well + +elfstarte hits autismus with 1 of its attacks, 7dmg, he’s on his last legs (5hp) + +autismus casts burning hands on the weak elfstarte and just kills it; sorcery point to cast again on his bonus action, standing defensively over joffrey, casts burning hands again for 10 dmg + +bubba considers stabilising joffrey but unloads instead after joffrey tells him not to; nat 20, does 14 dmg, attacks again, hits for 7dmg + +last attacker misses bubba twice, luckily + +autismus casts burning hands again, does 14, but attacker saves for half; uses last sorcery point to cast magic missile, fully tapped, kills it + +bubba stabilises joffrey and autismus gets dyson + +eerily quiet now + +priest has regular morningstar on them, fancy chain armor; elfstartes have non-magical seeming swords, seems the glowing and revving were racial abilities + +get 4x long swords off elfstartes + +hamsters are off in the enemy ship + +short rest + song of rest + +go to see what hamsters are doing, waiting in the hole, we follow them in, pretty demolished, collapsed rooms etc, the death ray did huge damage + +in the brig there is a goblin in a cage, doesnt look like one of squelch’s tribe + +covered in random bits of metal etc, cobbled together mad max armor, pots and pans + +“hey you’ve found me, do you have the key ?” + +no we don’t, he doesnt know who has the key, says he’s a tinkerer “slow bad”, the hamsters belong to him, his pets + +we negotiate for his help, give him my socket set, sets himself free, + +we explore everything, he thinks we can salvage a ballista but it will require dry dock to fix + +don’t want core parts, they’re illegal astral elf stuff and if we’re caught with them it will be bad + +spelljammer is destroyed, joffrey asks if there are parts of value we could get and sell, maybe to pirates + +says he knows where we could go, asks why we’re here, tell him about planet being destroyed, talks about knowing these ships had astral seeds on board + +should go to “the rock” and see commodore crux + +bubba gives him his rod and asks for help improving it, slow bad says he can make it better for astral fishing + +joffrey suggests we don’t muck around and get out of here; they dispose of hte corpses, patch the hole in the ship after dislodging the moth ship. + +joffrey confronts flapjack after slow bad gives him directions etc, asks what happened and why they crashed, then shushes him and asks bubba

Bubba rambles and implicates flapjack before admitted he knocked the stick + +joffrey cuffs them both, after flapjack glared at bubba, bubba hits him as well + +joffrey clones dyson’s research and gives his sword to the two engineers to make him a cane sword + +bubba brews some potions and doles them out + +autismus crafts some knuckledusters for flapjack + +after a few days of warp travel arrive at an asteroid field, come around a big asteroid and see big snail shell thing, nautilloid + +Joffrey carves a tally mark into the wall by the gem controls to indicate a kill + +summon slowbad to the bridge and asks for advice on it, panics initially then says its a derelict, joffrey is animated at the thought of salvage, says they should investigate. + +we ask the crew for information on the derelict, flapjack scans for life signs, doesnt really seem like it, faint life signs but that could the living ship itself. + +joffrey knows some stories of illithids and knows they are powerful and eat brains, capture victims + +ship seems to have been attacked by ballistas etc, some evidence of spell damage on the ship decks, might have been pirates, damage happened a while ago. + +fly up to board the ship, lower decks are badly damaged and blocked up, only top decks are accessible. + +Joffrey attempts “snake jazz”, succeeds, bubba’s eyes roll up into his head and glow and momentarily it seems that another malevolent entity is looking out of his eyes and he loses control. + +bubba has his fish bowl on his head full of water to breathe, they leave and land on the deck + +autismus has a cod piece made from the elve’s underwear that he’s breathing through + +joffrey goes with them with SlowBad in tow to inspect for salvage + +on the deck, not much around, some damage, ballista bolts stabbed into the deck etc, + +big sphincter like doors, bubba starts punching it and it pops open, relaxes. besides them are some balls that seem they are meant to be used to open it + +stairs leading up to higher platform inside, ornate chair, not like a spelljammer just a cool chair, captains area. + +2 ballistas might be able to be salvaged, should look for the spelljammer throne, that’s probably most valuable thing + +joffrey wants to take the ornate chair to use as his captains seat on the bridge. + +next to the chair on hte floor is a humanoid being, seems to be illithid, its headless + +has a fancy breastplate with tentacle motifs etc, joffrey collects it +1 breastplate + +spelljammer appears to have been removed, probably githyanki have attacked this ship, its what they do

there is a second corpse in the room, autismus checks it, it has a scroll, Wall of Force + +bubba goes through pair of doors, finds some animal like things in cages, doesnt find anything much of value. he unlocks the door to the cages and rifles through the corpses. He finds some 26 gold, 126 silver and a red ruby ring + +bubba needs to make an int save, succeeds, little brain with arms appears behind him and attacks, misses

he kills it + +in a fight, autismus twists and pull to go through + +2x corpses got up and attacked him, autismus flames them to death and now their heads have exploded and hostile brain creatures have come out, are attacking + +joffrey having space coffee in the command throne, oblivious to what’s going on + +brain psychic attacks bubba for 10 dmg, reduces his int to 0 on a failed save, he falls to the ground unconscious + +another brain psychic attacks autismus for 15 dmg, fails to beat his intelligence score and he isn’t turned into a vegetable + +joffrey hears then screaming for help, gets through the door, uses mage hand to operate the balls, met with the scene of bubba on the ground unconscious and autismus badly injured. + +joffrey inspires himself, “my god” looks at a picture of himself in his locket casts thunderwave lv 2, 12 dmg to one, 6 to the other, they’re both still up + +autismus magic missiles and kills one, injures the other + +bubba int contest with int devourer, he fails, he gets back up, the int devourer has disappeared…

its inside his head and has eaten his brain + +his body gets up and attacks autismus, he misses him + +autismus attacks him with magic missile + +Joffrey does an insight check (successful) knows he’s being controlled, plays snake jazz, succeeds, the int devourer is kicked out, his eyes start glowing and he seems stunned, mesmerised by the jazz + +int devourer tries to attack bubba again, fails to inhabit him because of snake jazz defense and it has an aneurysm and dies.

Joffrey continues playing snake jazz seeing him stunned, uses mage hand to sleight of hand the 26 gold from earlier off him

loses 1 coin, autismus finds it on hte ground by his feet , coin has tentacle motif on it, lucky gold illithid coin + +joffrey drops snake jazz and rushes to him, seems concerned for him says he was unconscious etc + +autismus doesnt see joffrey take the money, finds coin and gives back to bubba, bubba refuses and says autismus saved his life + +as they’re checking themselves etc, slowbad comes in and asks if its time to leave, he has removed the 2x ballistas and a psionic control gem + +Autismus and joffrey collect some intellect devourer brain matter + +joffrey has him remove the fancy illithid chair and coffee machine and they leave + +6 hours out from the rock + +Arrive at The Rock of Bral, giant asteroid city with many disticts and a port \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Locations/Obelisk of O’brien.md b/Seighell/Locations/Obelisk of O’brien.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..67bc009 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Locations/Obelisk of O’brien.md @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +![[Obelisk.png|697]] +A supposed Tiefling war memorial placed along the road out of [[SiegHell]]. +Later discovered to be a crashed Spelljammer ship seemingly piloted by a pair of [[Giant Space Hampsters]]. diff --git a/Seighell/Locations/Race Changer Lab.md b/Seighell/Locations/Race Changer Lab.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2695d40 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Locations/Race Changer Lab.md @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +![[Race Changer.png|1197]]The Race Changer Lab was discovered by the party in the first session when they were led here by the [[Sheepgoblinborn]]; it was housed in a dungeon complex located under the [[Qumdrop Swamp]], that contained a mysterious machine powered by life energy gems, likely from [[Big Succ]] technology. + +The Race Changer machine allowed the user to select a species using the control panel, then select a number of limbs for their transformation, before entering the chamber. (ex: selecting Dragon and 2 limbs, would result in being converted into a dragonborn). \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Locations/Sheep-Bone Brewery.md b/Seighell/Locations/Sheep-Bone Brewery.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..8373fc8 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Locations/Sheep-Bone Brewery.md @@ -0,0 +1,6 @@ +![[Sheep-Bone Brewery.png]] +Sheep-Bone Brewery was the first business venture owned and operated by [[Joffrey Tiefstein]], in the town of [[SiegHell]]; it's namesake was a set of sheep knucklebone dice that adorned the bar, collected from the [[Sheepgoblinborn]]. It's meteoric rise in popularity was thanks to some magical hops that the party found in the antechamber of the [[Race Changer Lab]], inside of a keg robot that they defeated; Using these hops would produce excellent quality ale regardless of the quality, or purity, of the ingredients used. + +In recognition of their contribution to his business, Joffrey offered [[Autismus Von Autingler]] and [[Bubba]] a lifetime 5% discount on drinks purchased there. + +Unfortunately the fate of Sheep-Bone Brewery is unknown; it was either destroyed, or replaced, when Joffrey landed [[Tiefstein Tower]] on his land to gain technical ownership of the spelljammer. It may have been swapped with the previous location of the lighthouse, above the goblin village at [[Steep Run]]. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Locations/Steep Run.md b/Seighell/Locations/Steep Run.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..50aa193 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Locations/Steep Run.md @@ -0,0 +1 @@ +Steep Run is a series of mountain peaks a weeks journey from [[SiegHell]], notable for being the location of the original village of [[The Watt Tribe]]. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Locations/The Ivory Tower.md b/Seighell/Locations/The Gauntlet of Doom.md similarity index 100% rename from Seighell/Locations/The Ivory Tower.md rename to Seighell/Locations/The Gauntlet of Doom.md diff --git a/Seighell/Locations/The Happy Beholder.md b/Seighell/Locations/The Happy Beholder.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..02fde7d --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Locations/The Happy Beholder.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +A popular tavern on [[The Rock of Bral]], operated by the friendly beholder, Large Luigi. +Notably the location of a talent show that the party entered into, miraculously winning first, and second place. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Locations/The Rock of Bral.md b/Seighell/Locations/The Rock of Bral.md index 5d75071..d50d370 100644 --- a/Seighell/Locations/The Rock of Bral.md +++ b/Seighell/Locations/The Rock of Bral.md @@ -1,5 +1,7 @@ ![[rockbral_map.png]] ## Notable Locations - +- [[The Happy Beholder]] ## Notable NPC's - +- Ambassador [[Katar Von Erg]] +- [[Slowbad]] and the [[Scrapjacks]] +- [[Bad Boy Bubby]] diff --git a/Seighell/Locations/The Vitamin Sea.md b/Seighell/Locations/The Vitamin Sea.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e69de29 diff --git a/Seighell/Locations/Tiefstein Tower.md b/Seighell/Locations/Tiefstein Tower.md deleted file mode 100644 index c6ea20a..0000000 --- a/Seighell/Locations/Tiefstein Tower.md +++ /dev/null @@ -1,8 +0,0 @@ -A lighthouse that has been refitted several times. -Is is currently owned by the party and being repaired at the docks on [[The Rock Of Bral]] - -![[TiefsteinTower.png]] - - -Originally the research base of [[Hoover Schlorp]] he had installed a soul stealing gem that could be used to power several functions of the Lighthouse. - diff --git a/Seighell/Locations/Toopla's Tower.md b/Seighell/Locations/Toopla's Tower.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e69de29 diff --git a/Seighell/Mechanics and Exposition/Big Succ.md b/Seighell/Mechanics and Exposition/Big Succ.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..29281f3 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Mechanics and Exposition/Big Succ.md @@ -0,0 +1,9 @@ +Big Succ is the principal technology primarily developed by [[Hoover Schlorp]] for use by [[The Ivory Tower]]; it operates on a principal of collecting and storing life energy from living organisms. + +The energy, when collected, is primarily stored in gemstones and advanced, magical constructs. + +When life energy is collected from a living organism, it has the observed consequence of causing them to devolve and deteriorate into progressively lesser forms of life before expiration occurs as a pool of inanimate slime. + +Notable implementations of this technology include the "Big Succ Gem" originally installed in the top of [[Tiefstein Tower]], when it was still operated by Hoover; as well as the more advanced, and devastating, implementation in the Ivory Tower Spelljammer. + +Use of this technology can be considered a weapon of mass destruction and a warcrime when used upon sentient life forms. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Mechanics and Exposition/Snake Jazz.md b/Seighell/Mechanics and Exposition/Snake Jazz.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3c27508 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Mechanics and Exposition/Snake Jazz.md @@ -0,0 +1,6 @@ +![[Snake Jazz.png]] +Snake Jazz is a form of musical enchantment composed by [[Joffrey Tiefstein]], intended to charm the mechanical snake implanted in [[Bubba]] by [[Trae'Vhor]], and ideally force it to leave. + +Unexpectedly, Snake Jazz has the effect of causing Bubba to have a sort of epileptic seizure and lose control of his body as the snake takes over; causing him to become immobile with his eyes rolled back in his head. + +This was used to great effect to prevent an intellect devourer from destroying Bubba's brain, when he was attacked aboard an Illithid Nautilus spelljammer; the snake forced the intellect devourer out of his head. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Misc Items/Illithid Coin.md b/Seighell/Misc Items/Illithid Coin.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..72ce963 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Misc Items/Illithid Coin.md @@ -0,0 +1,8 @@ +--- +tags: + - Item +--- +![[Illithid Coin.png]] +"A mysterious possession of [[Autismus Von Autingler]], found onboard a derelict Illithid Nautilus ship encountered by the party on their way to [[The Rock of Bral]] from their home world. + +It has no known function, but is a curiosity as it bears Illithid markings when they do not use currency." diff --git a/Seighell/Misc Items/Imperial Citadel.md b/Seighell/Misc Items/Imperial Citadel.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4d703d0 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Misc Items/Imperial Citadel.md @@ -0,0 +1,6 @@ + +![[Light of Xaryxis beam.png|585]] + +The Imperial Citadel is a colossal, heavily armed, mobile city in space; it is the home of the [[Astral Elves]] of Xaryxis. + +![[Light of Xaryxis.png]] \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Misc Items/Ioun Stone of Eternity.md b/Seighell/Misc Items/Ioun Stone of Eternity.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e326ab2 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Misc Items/Ioun Stone of Eternity.md @@ -0,0 +1,21 @@ +--- +tags: + - Item +--- +![[Ioun Stone of Eternity.png|337]] + +The Ioun Stone of Eternity is a legendary magical artifact in the possession of [[Joffrey Tiefstein]], making him functionally immortal. + + +### Properties: +*(Legendary, requires attunement)* + +*"This crystalline stone glows with shifting starlight as it orbits your head. It hums with the passage of time itself, bending destiny around its bearer."* + +Timeless Body: + +While this stone orbits you, you cease aging and cannot be magically aged. You are immune to the exhaustion caused by lack of food, water, or sleep. + +Future’s Whisper: You gain a +2 bonus to AC and DEX saves. + +Temporal Recall (1/week). As an action, you can undo the last 6 seconds (one round) of time. At the end of the round, you choose to keep or revert it. Everything reverts to how it was at the start of that round—including hit points, spell slots, positions, and conditions—except your memory of what occurred. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Misc Items/Lobster Ship.md b/Seighell/Misc Items/Lobster Ship.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a553478 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Misc Items/Lobster Ship.md @@ -0,0 +1,7 @@ +--- +tags: + - Spelljammer +--- +![[Lobster Ship.png]]The lobster ship is a small, unique spelljammer that can be crewed by a one or two regular sized pilots, or up to 3 goblins. It is currently in the possession of [[Squelch]]'s party, piloted by the goblin, Creampie. + +The lobster ship was acquired during a mission to the bottom of the ocean to see the Sahuagin by [[Squelch]] and [[Zarveth]]; it's meant to be a significant power source that was coveted by the [[Dragon Queen]] for an unknown purpose. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Misc Items/Obelisk of O’brien.md b/Seighell/Misc Items/Obelisk of O’brien.md deleted file mode 100644 index f53f633..0000000 --- a/Seighell/Misc Items/Obelisk of O’brien.md +++ /dev/null @@ -1,3 +0,0 @@ -![[Obelisk.png|697]] -A supposed Tiefling war memorial placed along the road out of [[SiegHell]]. -Later discovered to be a crashed spell jamming ship seemingly piloted by a pair of [[Giant Space Hampsters]]. diff --git a/Seighell/Misc Items/Second Wind.md b/Seighell/Misc Items/Second Wind.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fac1cd1 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Misc Items/Second Wind.md @@ -0,0 +1,7 @@ +--- +aliases: +tags: + - Spelljammer +--- +![[Second Wind.png]] +The Second Wind is a galleon class Spelljammer belonging to [[Crux]], currently under the command of Admiral [[Joffrey Tiefstein]]. It is the successor to [[Crux]]' original ship, The First Wind, that was lost in battle. diff --git a/Seighell/Misc Items/The Last Breath.md b/Seighell/Misc Items/The Last Breath.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2e3e8d0 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Misc Items/The Last Breath.md @@ -0,0 +1,7 @@ +--- +tags: + - Spelljammer + - Vampirate +--- +![[The Last Breath.png]] +The Last Breath is a galleon class Spelljammer commanded by the Vampirate, [[Grimrod Garglinale]]; It serves as his personal flagship. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/Misc Items/The Wak Splat.md b/Seighell/Misc Items/The Wak Splat.md index a936930..4ffecdf 100644 --- a/Seighell/Misc Items/The Wak Splat.md +++ b/Seighell/Misc Items/The Wak Splat.md @@ -1 +1,7 @@ -![[waksplat.png]] \ No newline at end of file +--- +tags: + - Item +--- + +| ![[waksplat.png]] | ***"The Wak Splat is a unique magical hammer and heirloom of [[The Watt Tribe]]; he who wields this weapon is considered their champion. It's primary feature is enhancing all of the stats of a goblin wielder."*** | +| ----------------- | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | diff --git a/Seighell/Misc Items/Tiefstein Tower.md b/Seighell/Misc Items/Tiefstein Tower.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..df4e296 --- /dev/null +++ b/Seighell/Misc Items/Tiefstein Tower.md @@ -0,0 +1,10 @@ +--- +tags: + - Spelljammer +--- +![[TiefsteinTower.png]] + +***"A lighthouse that has been refitted several times.*** +***It is currently owned by the party and being repaired and equipped with weaponry at the docks on [[The Rock Of Bral]].*** +***Originally the research base of [[Hoover Schlorp]], he had installed a [[Big Succ]] gem in place of the lamp, that could be used to power several functions of the Lighthouse, after collecting energy from the local area."*** + diff --git a/Seighell/NPC's/Captain Garglinale.md b/Seighell/NPC's/Captain Garglinale.md deleted file mode 100644 index ecb0adb..0000000 --- a/Seighell/NPC's/Captain Garglinale.md +++ /dev/null @@ -1,8 +0,0 @@ ---- -aliases: - - Garglinale -tags: - - NPC ---- - -![[CptnGarglinale.png]] \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/NPC's/Giant Space Hampsters.md b/Seighell/NPC's/Giant Space Hampsters.md deleted file mode 100644 index ee70eec..0000000 --- a/Seighell/NPC's/Giant Space Hampsters.md +++ /dev/null @@ -1,6 +0,0 @@ - -![[GiantHampsters.png|404]] -The current engineers aboard [[Tiefstein Tower]]. - -Originally crashed in their ship [[Obelisk of O’brien]], They have since salvaged it for tec to retrofit [[Tiefstein Tower]] into a crude spelljammer. - diff --git a/Seighell/NPC's/Hoover Schlorp.md b/Seighell/NPC's/Hoover Schlorp.md deleted file mode 100644 index 5c4ea00..0000000 --- a/Seighell/NPC's/Hoover Schlorp.md +++ /dev/null @@ -1,6 +0,0 @@ ---- -aliases: - - Hoover -tags: - - NPC ---- diff --git a/Seighell/PlayerCharacters/Autismus Von Autingler.md b/Seighell/PlayerCharacters/Autismus Von Autingler.md deleted file mode 100644 index 1fb4db7..0000000 --- a/Seighell/PlayerCharacters/Autismus Von Autingler.md +++ /dev/null @@ -1,5 +0,0 @@ ---- -aliases: - - Autismus ---- -![[Autismus_1.png|323]] \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/PlayerCharacters/Bubba.md b/Seighell/PlayerCharacters/Bubba.md deleted file mode 100644 index 152ba40..0000000 --- a/Seighell/PlayerCharacters/Bubba.md +++ /dev/null @@ -1 +0,0 @@ -![[bubba.webp|401]] \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Seighell/PlayerCharacters/Joffrey Tiefstein.md b/Seighell/PlayerCharacters/Joffrey Tiefstein.md deleted file mode 100644 index 528e02f..0000000 --- a/Seighell/PlayerCharacters/Joffrey Tiefstein.md +++ /dev/null @@ -1,4 +0,0 @@ ---- -aliases: - - Joffrey ---- diff --git a/Seighell/z_images/636376316530280715.jpeg b/Seighell/z_images/636376316530280715.jpeg new file 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