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Seighell/Characters/Characters.md
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%% Begin Waypoint %%
- **[[Factions]]**
- **[[NPCs]]**
- **[[PCs]]**
- **PCs**
- [[Autismus Von Autingler]]
- [[Bubba]]
- [[Joffrey Tiefstein]]
- [[Squelch]]
%% End Waypoint %%

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Seighell/Characters/NPCs/Dyson.md
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- Gnome
- Dragonborn
---
![[Dyson.png]]
***"Dyson is a miniature dragonborn (half dragon and half gnome), son of [[Hoover Schlorp]] and the [[Dragon Queen]], half brother of [[Solkanaar]]. He is a brilliant engineer and scientist, most recently employed at [[Brown Mesa Research Facility]]"***
![[Dyson and Owlbear.png]]
***"The party first encountered Dyson when they saved him from an Owlbear while on an errand from [[Solkanaar]] to find him."***
| ![[Dyson.png]] | ***"Dyson is a miniature dragonborn (half dragon and half gnome), son of [[Hoover Schlorp]] and the [[Dragon Queen]], half brother of [[Solkanaar]]. He is a brilliant engineer and scientist, most recently employed at [[Brown Mesa Research Facility]]"*** |
| -------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| ![[Dyson and Owlbear.png]] | ***"The party first encountered Dyson when they saved him from an Owlbear while on an errand from [[Solkanaar]] to find him."*** |

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Seighell/Characters/NPCs/NPCs.md
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- [[Warwick Blastemoff]]
- [[Xavian]]
- [[Xedali]]
- [[Xeleth]]
- [[Zarveth]]
%% End Waypoint %%

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Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 14 (Notes).md
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18/03/2026
Error 404: Page not found.
- Session opens in the hold of Garglinale’s ship, the Last Breath, with the party talking with Princess Xedali. She’s telling them that her sister, Xeleth, is attempting to usurp her throne. Their father, Emperor Xavian is dying, and is currently interred in stasis on the Silver Throne, awaiting the Ceremony of Ascension.
- She mentions that she was meant to be on the party’s homeworld having her life force drained by the superweapon being used on the planet but escaped.
- Bubba comments lewdly that he wishes she’d drain his life-force, and she tells him angrily that he is too small, as a halfling, to contain any significant amount of life force.
- Xedali tells them that only one of the royal bloodline can disable the super weapon, cut off the supply of life force and destroy their sun as a result. They would need to use the power of the twin signet rings of their royal family to turn off the weapon.
- The weapon onboard the Imperial Citadel is draining the life energy of other planets to maintain their sun at the peak of its power, in order to enable them to perform the Ceremony of Ascension. One of the royal blood is sent into the star at the peak of its power, when they die, and is ascended to godhood.
- Xedali says that traditionally the ruler and their heir would hold one of the rings each; she has hers but Xeleth has stolen her father’s ring and named herself Empress.
- She mentions that he wasn’t a great ruler and Joffrey says it’s time for a regime change and they should end the succession. Bubba sarcastically suggests that they make Joffrey king, and Joffrey is quite enthusiastic about this, beginning to enquire about how the ascension ritual works, annoying Autismus.
- Xedali tells them that only one of the royal blood can ascend, but Joffrey isn’t entirely convinced, beginning to plot to acquire the rings. She tells them that twins run in the family, there are always twins, and there must be two to wield the rings to control the weapon. She elaborates that the participants don’t need to be willing to contribute, her sister could be forced.
- Joffrey suggests that she should get some rest and retire to quarters while they continue to talk boring things, like logistics, and orders Bubba, like a servant, to take her to a room. This backfires when Bubba, as a prank, takes her to Joffrey’s quarters onboard the Second Wind and tells her those are for her.
- Once Bubba and is gone, Joffrey tries to huddle up with Garglinale and Autismus and says that they can talk plainly, between pureblood Tieflings, now they’re alone.
- He asks Garglinale how he got into this predicament, being in possession of Princess Xedali of the Astral Elves. Garglinale explains that he got into great battle with an Astral Elf Star Moth fleet and they found her prisoner on one of the ships, capturing her, before his own fleet was eventually overwhelmed by more Astral Elves showing up and they had to retreat. His intentions are to use her in some way to destroy the Astral Elves, and also plunder and acquire as much wealth as he can. Joffrey is pleased with his greed and approves, sharing a laugh with him.
- Joffrey tries to make good with him and affirm that he doesn’t really want to usurp command of his fleet, it was just a bit of a fun pissing contest over who got to be called admiral. He asks Garglinale for his thoughts on Crux and if they should follow him to try and meetup with the Griff fleet in Doomspace, noting how unreliable he is. Garglinale says they don’t seem to have much choice, his fleet is destroyed and he can’t afford to purchase any ships or crew from The Rock of Bral in any case, regardless of how insane Crux seems.
- Joffrey tries to cheer him up and promises their autognomes, and the two vampirates they picked up, should be able to help restore his ship and make it great again.
- He asks Autismus for his thoughts on their next steps, and Autismus considers ransoming Xedali, or finding someone willing to pay a bounty for her.
- Joffrey casually tells Garglinale about Bubba’s predicament and how he has the robotic spy snake inside him, that was implanted by the devil Trae’Vhor, and they might be being monitored all the time by devils.
- He suggests that the autognomes should be supervised onboard the Last Breath by their “goblin peasant” Squelch, and Squelch isn’t very pleased by this and refuses, saying he wants to keep an eye on Joffrey.
- Bubba returns and Garglinale goes to manage his ship and says it will need to be towed by the Second Wind for now. There is a brief discussion about the repairs and the storage of the Alchemist’s Fire, and they resolve to focus on the safe storage of it, and repairing the secure hold.
- Bubba slips away, saying that he would like to check on the Alchemist’s Fire, and plans to attempt to take a sample of it. He knows that it is highly volatile and will detonate on contact with air, so he plans to throw a barrel off of the ship, outside the atmosphere bubble, and use the autognomes to collect the samples in a vacuum.
- One of the robots drills into the barrel and the Alchemist’s Fire starts leaking out into space; Bubba collects a sample and leaves the barrel floating in space, risking the next ship to come along running into it.
- Joffrey sees Crux moping and looking off into space at the railing and goes to ask him what’s wrong. Crux starts moping and tells him that hearing about the Imperial Citadel upset him, the Griff fleet was routed assaulting it. They had hundreds of Griff ships, including bombard ships, and they were “swatted away like nothing” before their planet was sucked dry by the super weapon. Joffrey isn’t really listening to him, he’s thinking about the magic signet rings and controlling the weapon; he snaps out of it and claps Crux on the shoulder enthusiastically, says the non sequitur “Ha! You know I do!" then walks off.
- Crux wanders off and goes belowdecks, still depressed after Joffrey ignored him.
- Joffrey talks to Dexa and commands her to plot a course to Doomspace and engage, now that The Last Breath is attached to The Second Wind for towing.
- Ship reaches a point where it can jump into the Astral Sea and the party can see all manner of stars and sights that they have never seen before as they leave the solar system.
- Crux re-emerges from the hold heavily intoxicated
- Several days of travel begin, Bubba is keen to rest as he is still near death from the last fight against the rogue vampirates.
- After the first night, they notice that Squelch and Autismus' imp, Schnitzel Von Krump, are missing and Autismus begins a search of the ship. He determines that there is no sign of them onboard, just a faint smell of sulfur and some scorch marks near where they were sleeping. He attempts several times to resummon his imp but nothing happens. When telling Joffrey that Squelch is missing, Joffrey asks "Who ?". Bubba thoroughly and expertly searches the ships and finds no traces of them.
- Autismus goes to ask Toopla about Doomspace now that they are underway; learns that it was cutoff from the Astral Sea and surrounded by a sort protective dome around it that was blown up by "some angry gods". The destruction of the protective dome opened it back up to the astral sea, but its believed that destroyed the sun, creating a black hole that is gradually consuming things in the system and its surrounded by the shattered pieces of the dome. Asks her if travel through the Astral Sea would be affecting his magic and being able to summon his imp, no, if anything, the astral sea would amplify his magic, she can't help him.
- Joffrey and Bubba spend some time trying to tame/train their animals and fail during day 1.
- Bubba drags Cinammon, his disabled dog, up into the crows nest to go to bed with him.
- Joffrey returns to his room, discovers Princess Xedali asleep in his bed, is annoyed, tries to be polite to her and get her to leave; He amplifies his voice with Thaumaturgy and shouts for Bubba, then has him scurry off to find her alternative quarters. There are a number of spare rooms on the ship that could be used. Joffrey tries to chat her up and invites her to stay in his quarters with him if she likes, but is unsuccessful.
- Once she's gone and out of his hair, Joffrey goes through his advanced skincare routine and puts his face mask on, before putting gold coins over his eyes and settling in to bed.
- Xedali dismisses Bubba but runs into Autismus, who then also makes a pass at her; fortunately with his charisma, he comes off as funny instead of creepy and is dismissed as well once he takes her to a spare room.
- Day 2 dawns and Captain Garglinale is attempting to engage the crew in dice gambling games; Bubba comes to Joffrey and asks him for gold so he can play too and is given 20gp. (He doesn't carry his own money because he has a gambling problem).
- Autismus and Joffrey join in as well; Bubba wins the round and then Garglinale realises that the three of them are colluding to triple their chances of winning and drain his money. Bubba continues playing while Joffrey wanders off, now that he has to play fair, and Autismus goes to have a cigarette. Bubba loses the second and third rounds respectively, then returns 20gp to Joffrey, who puts it back in his personal money pouch.
- Joffrey lets Mr Gibbons out of the brig.
- Bubba and Joffrey spend some more time attempting to train their animals with little success.
- Crux returns, sobered up and now has a polished blunderbuss called “Big Bertha”. He sets up a target range of Astral Elf cutouts and starts shooting at them. Joffrey joins in and hits a target with his crossbow, Bubba misses and Autismus cheats and uses magic missiles that never miss. Joffrey is fascinated by this “firearm”, something that he’s never seen before; he’s not sure how this works.
- Autismus tells Crux that his friend back home “Marty”, had a nice gun too, but he went down to “Port Blartha” and is dead now.
- Day 3: the ship comes across a massive bismuth obelisk floating in the Astral Sea, it’s strange and hard to look at, it seems to impossibly go on forever. As they approach, they come across a Solar (an Angel esq being) standing guard in front of it, blocking them from getting any closer. He has a giant two handed sword and is very majestic.
- Bubba is desperate to get a sample of the dead god and Joffrey is keen to help him by distracting the Solar, as he floats over to the corpse. The Solar flies over to Joffrey, but sends his flying sword to block Bubba’s path. Bubba tries putting alchemists fire on his sword to try and damage it, or get a sample of that instead, but nothing happens (even though alchemist’s fire canonically melts steel beams), it’s indestructible.

- The Solar is “Dave” and he is eternally guarding this obelisk that is the corpse of a god known as “The Endless”. He tells the party that this god must never be allowed to return; it was killed in a conflict millennia ago, but gods can never truly die and if people began worshipping this entity again, it could return. They must keep an eye out for any worshippers or cults based on The Endless and let him know; just pray and he will hear them.
- Dave likes Autismus for some reason, and Autismus decides to become penpals with him and pray to him with updates.
- Bubba tries to whip the bismuth with his fishing rod, to try and get a chunk and snap it off, but it has no effect, it can’t get any purchase.
- They give up on the dead god and Bubba instead asks if Dave can heal his disabled dog; he refuses and scoffs that they tried to bypass him and now are asking for a boon.
- Joffrey tries to talk his way around him and tells him that just as he is manifested by the universe, the party is technically made of star stuff and is in some ways the same; maybe they were sent to test him. He’s not convinced.
- Bubba tries reverse psychology and negging, saying that he obviously isn’t that powerful if he can’t heal animals, and keeps making fun of him to the rest of the party. Dave isn’t swayed by this and says that perhaps it’s the will of the universe and part of a divine plan for his dog to be disabled. This upsets Bubba.
- Joffrey tries to tease information out of him about The Endless, but Dave refuses, on grounds that he’s trying to control info about the god to stop him coming back.
- Autismus tries to ask him about his imp but he isn’t really able to help, just tells him not to worry about him.
- Joffrey mentions Bubba’s robot snake that’s inside him and asks for help with removing that, but Dave similarly isn’t helpful, he can only really totally destroy and smite Bubba. Joffrey tries to force the issue and starts playing Snake Jazz, but this just causes Bubba to have a seizure and Dave is unmoved.
- The party leaves and continues to Doomspace.
- Arrive and there are loads of giant, broken crystalline shards in space, pieces of the dome that was destroyed around the system. They go to Toopla and consult the Astral Orrery, seeing the black hole at the centre of the system. There are 3 main planets, one of which is quite close to the black hole and is being consumed. Crux arrives and tells them they are heading to the moon “Arun” where they can find his sergeant, that is currently on a mission to convince the natives to join them. Sergeant is called Warwick Blastemoff.

- Joffrey checks on the progress of the repairs to The Last Breath, but it is still not under its own power. He reveals that he’s been working on his novel “The Art of Barter” during the voyage.
- The “Aartuks” are the denizens of Arun that Blastemoff has been trying to parley with. The party forms an away team and lands on the planet with Crux. There are massive furrows in the surface of the moon, and in these deep valleys there are Tarrasques; this is apparently their breeding place. The Aartuks are reputed to be plant people.
- The party makes their way through the rainforest, comes to a clearing with some pools of acid etc, they hear a shot in the distance and then see the running form of Blastemoff. He’s failed in his mission to convince the Aartuks to join them and they are now pursuing him; the look like 5 limbed plant-starfish-monkeys that spit acid.
- Combat ensues and Autismus lobs two fireballs in the first round and almost kills all the enemies. Joffrey hangs back and fires his crossbow while Bubba gets involved. It’s relatively one-sided, although Crux does get quite injured after being dropped into acid by one of the Aartuks that had grappled him.
- Joffrey questions Crux about what just happened and who attacked them, finds out that those primitive creatures were the aartuks and they don’t actually seem to have much industry or ships etc.
- They start moving back through the rainforest towards the ship and Bubba gets a sample of plant acid just before they leave the clearing. Partway through the jungle, they find Blastemoff that had fled earlier, and he explains that the aartuks weren’t receptive to his brand of diplomacy and that they are much more primitive than they expected.

- Blastemoff says that once they got to Doomspace, their communication equipment stopped working, likely due to all the strange crystalline structures in the region. Crux asks what other opportunities there are in this system, Blastemoff tells him that there isn’t that much going on in the region, there is a powerful merchant prince arms dealer that the other races are scared to defy. His name is Merchant Prince Vacath and Joffrey is very interested in meeting another man of uncscrupulous commerce.
- Blastemoff tells them that when the first planet fell to the black hole, Vacath helped the population relocate to another planet and armed them etc. He has the other races waging endless wars against each other, and has them doing eternal conflict in his arena for amusement.

- As they are having this discussion there is a disturbance in the ground, and 2 bulettes emerge, attacking the party and causing a cliffhanger.

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- Session opens with Squelch stirring awake onboard the spelljammer, the Second Wind; he feels very tired, can smell a strange sulfurous scent and hears gunfire in the distance. He walks onto the deck, crew are scrambling around attending to their duties and he can see a rope ladder hanging over the side of the ship. Looking down, he can see dense jungle and figures running through it, shooting and lobbing the occasional fireball.
- Below, on the jungle covered surface of the moon Arun, the party's away team (Autismus, Bubba, Crux, Joffrey), as well as Blastemoff, have just been surprise attacked by two Bulettes that have emerged from the ground and combat begins.
- One of the Bulettes attempts to jump on Bubba, and he avoids being knocked down, but takes some damage. The other attempts to jump onto Autismus and Joffrey; Joffrey dives out of the way and takes some damage, but Autismus is flattened by it and takes a lot of damage.
- Joffrey tries a thunderwave, but these things seem to have a lot of CON and easily resist most of the damage, they seem quite dangerous.
- Bubba escapes and is able to grapple on to the ship and make his way up to it, as Squelch slides down a rope and comes to help the party.
- Autismus disengages and runs for the ship's ladder.

- The Bulettes miss Crux, but flatten Squelch, dealing high damage; Joffrey exclaims "oh, that's Squelch!".
- Joffrey dodges another attack, yells for the party to close their eyes and casts Hypnotic pattern, charming the two Bulettes and Crux.
- He tells the party to be quiet and not touch them, helps Squelch up, tells Crux to give him his blunderbuss, attempting to steal it, and then slinks back towards the ship. Squelch rouses Crux, helps him back to the ship and they take off; Joffrey reluctantly returns Crux' blunderbuss and explains away him being charmed as probably a concussion.
- The party levels up to level 7.
- Crux and Blastemoff are very happy to be reunited and are hugging and celebrating on the ship.
- Squelch is confused about waking up with everyone gone, he doesn't know that he was mysteriously missing for 3 days and reappeared in his bed.
- Crux says that after debriefing with Blastemoff that his plans for forming a new fleet haven't gone to plan and Blastemoff has failed to convince the few factions that he's talked to in Doomspace to join their cause. He suggests that the party go and talk to the merchant prince Vocath, who controls the system by supplying arms to the other races, encouraging continual wars between them. He has additional sway over the other races as he helped to resettle them when their planets were destroyed by a black hole and they are indebted to him.
- The party confers between them and agrees that they need to talk to this person; Blastemoff has spent time in this system and knows that Vocath's fortress is equidistant between three moons, and gives them the location.
- Joffrey advises caution, suggests that they stop at a waystation or some such, if there is one in the system, and ask for information on the citadel in case it isn't safe to approach directly without authorisation etc. There is nothing on the way and the party decides to proceed with three days of travel ahead of them.
- Bubba works on training his dog, Cinnamon, and finally succeeds in teaching it to aim the crossbow attached to its disability wheelchair. Joffrey spends his time training his cat "Doubloon" and succeeds in gaining it's trust; he also continues working on his book "The Art of Barter" and maintains his rigorous skincare beauty routines as he relaxes. Squelch attempts to get some rest, feeling tired after his mysterious ordeal and doesn't believe the others telling him that he was missng. Autismus attempts to summon his imp that was also missing, but he is still unable to do so; He also spends some time fruitlessly praying to Dave, the Solar.
- Bubba continues to complain about Dave refusing to heal his disabled dog, and as a prank, Joffey tells him that he thinks he could help him now he's gained some strength and casts his new spell, polymorph, turning Cinnamon into a goldfish. It flops on the deck, dies and turns back into Cinnamon and Joffrey scratches his head in mock confusion. He returns the second day, after getting his spell slot back, tells Bubba he will try again and this time turns Cinnamon into a dog that is not disabled, but instead is very sickly and exclaims that he fixed it's legs!. After an hour the spell ends and the dog returns to its normal state. Joffrey gaslights Bubba and says that his powers must be being influenced by Dave, and Bubba agrees that it must be his fault, as Dave said it was probably part of God's plan that Cinnamon was disabled.
- As they approach their destination, Joffrey checks in with Cpt Garglinale onboard The Last Breath, that is still being towed by their ship, The Second Wind, and finds that his ship is adequately repaired to be under it's own power again. Joffrey suggests that The Last Breath should go on ahead of them, straight to the fortress, and justifies this as putting their best foot forward, stroking Garglinale's ego, but secretly just wishes to avoid being killed if there are active defences.
- The Last Breath is cut loose, Bubba and Squelch decide to go aboard and join the advanced scouting expedition, and they take position two kilometres ahead of Second Wind, as they proceed to Vocath's fortress. It comes into visual range and is a grand structure, supported by charged energy crystals that anchor it in space, with a massive dome covering a circular arena, surrounded by docks for ships, with a tower attached to the side, with a private dock for Vocaths personal fancy ship.
- Fortunately, the Last Breath arrives at the dock unchallenged and undamaged; Squelch and Bubba leave the ship, walk up the dock and approach the guards. They have a discussion with them and express that they want to meet Vocath, there is a brief moment of tension when the guards consider drawing their weapons, not liking their tone. The two of them are drawing a lot of attention as they explain that they are from planet Bitlock and are here seeking an audience with the merchant prince, but being poor negotiators mention that they have money when queried by the guards and this smooths things over. They foolishly tell them that they can pay the merchant prince a lot of money for his aid and consideration. The guards tell them that will book them a meeting for 2 hours time, but aren't very impressed these two and suggest that they get their captain and return with lots of money. Their conversation continues for a while longer as they try and talk to them about the arena and how Vocath likes powerful creatures for their arranged fights; Squelch the goblin tries to tell the guard that he's a creature and would like to fight, much to the guards amusement.
- The rest of the party arrive on the Second Wind and Joffrey meets with Bubba and Squelch, they explain to him that they have a meeting with Vocath and lie to him that he's going to give them a lot of money, much to Joffrey's glee, although he doesn't believe that's likely. They have a few hours to kill until the meeting and scope out the docks to see if there are any merchant ships they could pilfer, as the arena is closed and there aren't any shops or taverns in this fortification. There don't seem to be any ships around that are likely to have valuables, they seem to all be warships.
- They begin planning on who to take with them to this meeting and what they will say to Vocath; Squelch wants to tell him that they have the Astral Elven Princess captive, but Joffrey strongly advises against telling this potentially very powerful enemy about their extremely valuable prize, because he might take it from them by force. He then becomes suspicious and asks them why it would matter what they have, when they told him that Vocath would be giving them money. He presses them for more information about the meeting, and wants to confirm that they didn't tell the guards that they had valuables. Squelch says no, so he asks Bubba if Squelch told them they had money to give them, and Bubba admits that he did, to Joffrey's dismay. Joffrey says he'll take responsibility as he did send these two idiots ahead, instead of going himself, and it’s really his fault. He explains to Squelch, like he’s a child, that Xedali is the key to stopping the Astral Elve’s super weapon, and they can’t risk anyone taking her from them.
- Squelch consults Toopla about the history of the system, she explains how it had a crystalline sphere around it in the far forgotten past to protect it during a conflict between the gods; this was destroyed and left behind giant shards orbiting the system and the sun was turned into a black hole millennia ago. Mr Gibbons onboard the ship pipes up and says that if the sun was turned into a black hole millennia ago, wouldn’t all the planets have cooled and killed everyone within days of that happening and everyone rolls their eyes. It's explained away as magic etc and the planets are still habitable, but some are beginning to cool and be consumed by the black hole. The only one that isn’t cooling is the dragon planet that is volcanic and continues to be habitable.
- They start discussing which members of the crew to take with them to the meeting; Joffrey advises against Crux, because he feels he is useless and the others generally agree. Squelch wants to take Toopla, as she is a beautiful woman that might be distracting and advantageous in their negotiations, but Joffrey and Autismus are resistant to her coming, due to her being dim and a potential liability. Joffrey proposes taking Cpt Garglinale because he's a fellow Tiefling, quite impressive, is handsome, looking like Joffrey, and is capable; the others agree to this. Bubba wants to take his dog, Cinnamon, with them, although it’s not clear how this would be beneficial, they agree.
- Princess Xedali calls down to them from the deck of their ship and warns them that Vocath will demand a mighty price from them, if they want his help and Joffrey winces thinking about losing money. She says they will have to have some mighty promises and Joffrey recovers, grinning and saying that he has the mightiest promises; she tells him that Vocath will make sure he follows through on them though, and he says "maybe" with a wink.
- The group head off and enter the main building, attached to the side of the tower, and there is an armory/weapons merchant in a side room. Joffrey runs his eye over their wares but it appears to be mostly mundane, generic weapons, stamped with "Anko" makers marks; nothing of interest to him.
- Joffrey briefly considers a hare-brained scheme to steal a spare spelljamming throne and try and attach it to Vocath’s fancy ship to steal it. Bubba is enthused by Autismus is sceptical and this line of intrigue doesn’t go far.
- They approach a githyanki guard and Squelch proclaims that they are there for their appointment; the guard speaks into a tattoo on the back of their wrist and motions them inside.
- Inside the tower is a 12 foot tall, blue, male that is the Mercane “Vocath” sat upon a throne, flanked by statues of himself that appear far more muscular and photogenic than he really is.
- On one side he has a Griff guard that seems in peak physical condition and what you actually imagine when you are told about griff, instead of Crux who is a disgrace.
- On the other side he has a Gith guard that is a good foot taller than the other guards and is very imposing.
- Squelch inspects the fancy armors that he has on display and starts talking shit about them, pointing out that they might be tarnished etc; Vocath has a lot of charisma and attempts to convince him that the tarnish is actually key to its magic and its powered by the tarnish, cleaning it up would actually break it. Joffrey is impressed by his bullshit prowess.
- Squelch tries to spit shine the armor and the rust immediately starts spreading, Vocath tries again to convince him that is a feature and says the armor is worth 3000gp. Joffrey does a spit-take.
- Squelch gets combative, offers him 100gp and starts arguing that his goods are inferior and tasteless; Joffrey steps in and says to ignore his step-son, he has a mental disability. Vocath says that Squelch should be kept on a leash and Joffrey agrees saying he's not sure how he got off it and claps for Bubba, who enters with Cinammon the disabled dog.
- Joffrey gets sidetracked by his greed and starts inquiring about magical weapons and armor.
- Squelch keeps insulting vocath about his fortress and goods.
- Vocath shows them a fine suit of armor and a greatsword that appears to be made of shells worth 2500gp, Bubba tries to heft it and its light but too large for him to wield. He shows Vocath his fishing rod and fails to make him appreciate the quality of its bamboo construction.
- Squelch continues to antagonise Vocath and inquires that if there are no royalty in this system, who made him a prince ? Vocath clarifies that if you are rich enough you can make yourself a prince and Joffrey nods sagely at this advice.
- Joffrey suggests that Autismus evaluate the quality of these magical items and he has a look; he determines that the armor is a +1 suit of plate that confers fire resistance and the magic sword glows in the dark.
- Joffrey tries to haggle and fails.
- The others wander around the room examining everything, he has lots of fancy art and overt displays of wealth etc
- They finally get around to the point of their visit and talk about looking for support for their conflict against the astral elves; ask if they can contract one of the races that are subserviant to Vocath to aid them. He scoffs and says that they want to fight the astral elves "the scourge of the galaxy...." and indicates that they will be hard pressed to convince anyone to help them; they'd need a mountain of wealth.
- Vocath asks what their goal is, Squelch says bluntly that they want to kill the elves and save their planet and Joffrey mutters "that's your goal...". Vocath says they don't look very strong and Joffrey says that there is more than strenght of arms, there is strength in wisdom, Squelch jibes that Vocath looks big but that's about it, he's unimpressed by him.
- Vocath says its a fortuitous time, he hasn't really got anything else left in this system for him to acquire, he's already milked most of the other races for all they have left and muses about striking out into new territories. He says that he might consider helping them in exchange for salvage rights over the elven Imperial Citadel and Squelch immediately tries to agree while Joffrey tells him to be quiet, they can't risk giving Vocath the Citadel when it contains the elves super weapon that can destroy planets.


- They're interrupted by Vocath saying they dont appear strong enough to be worth helping however, and says they will need to prove themselves in the arena by winning 3 rounds, before immediately casting a spell to teleport them all directly there. Autismus manages to resist the spell, everyone else disappears, but then Vocath recasts the spell and gets rid of Autismus as well, who can't think of anything funny to do before he goes.
- They all appear on the dirt floor of the grand arena that has boulders, broken armor and weapons strewn around, it has high cut stone walls with grand stands filled with spectators awaiting the start of the show. There is a large, glass dome over the top of the arena.
- Vocath appears on a throne, in a private box above the arena, behind a forcefield.
- He says that they will need to impress him and begins preparations for the iminent start of the first bout.
- Joffrey casts polymorph on Bubba and somehow turns him into a Bulette, although it seems that shouldn't be possible.
- Squelch casts shield of faith on himself and the others spread out, ready for the first enemies to enter.
- Vocath addresses the crowd and starts the first round; underneath his booth there is a massive mirror that glints magically, and from it come 2 giants with 4 arms that drop into the arena.
- Bubba and Squelch leap into action and start attacking one giant each, Joffrey heroically grabs Cinammon and retreats to the back wall of the arena to defend the poor dog and maintain concentration on his polymorph spell.
- Bubba in Bulette form takes a lot of damage from the first giant from it's 4 attacks per turn, before being lifted up and resisting its attempt to pull him in half. Autismus hit by a hurled boulder from the second giant, also quite injured. Squelch is largely successful in dodging and blocking, Garglinale supports him from range and Joffrey works on healing Autismus and keeping him alive.
- They manage to defeat the giants without too much trouble, Bubba attempts to throw one of the corpses up at Vocath's booth and it slides off the forcefield. Joffrey creates magical fireworks and Squelch bellows "are you not entertained!?" to the crowd.
- Vocath announces that it's now time for the crowd favourite, Brutus, who is a Braxat (huge rancor/rhino creature) that descends from the magic mirror.
- Joffrey carries the dog like a football and retreats as far as he can within the bounds of the arena, continuing his previous strategy.
- Autismus uses his legendary staff lightning spell daily power and does a decent amount of damage to Brutus.
- Squelch, Garglinale and Bubba crowd around Brutus and chip him down quite quickly with good roles and flank attacks; Autismus finishes him off with a Chromatic Orb. The round ends very quickly and the crowd are starting to become impressed, and Joffrey sends up more fireworks.
- Vocath says its time for "The terror of Doomspace, Queen Gorma", clicks his fingers and a big space guppy teleports into the arena; the crowd gasp, then start laughing at it.
- The party gets ready to fight this seemingly useless fish and begin crowding it, then the mirror flashes again and a giant, 150ft long coiled centipede appears, swallowing it immediately.
- The fight its pretty ugly, Queen Gorma does tremendous amounts of damage and poisons her targets, progressively uncoiling and taking up more of the arena. Bubba loses his Bulette form as it loses the last of its health, turns back into his usual halfling self.
- Joffrey and Autismus continually retreat around the arena, but are eventually caught by the unwinding head; Cinammon is killed after taking many times it's maximum health in damage, and Joffrey also goes down after healing a near-death Autismus.
- Autismus does tremendous damage with a lightning bolt, somehow hitting multiple segments of its body that were lined up, with one spell. He then casts a firey chromatic orb as well, with hastened casting, finishing it off and causing the crowd to go wild.
- Vocath is about to address the arena but is distracted, looking up at the dome, just as it shatters from a giant Solar Dragon crashing through it, being ridden by an astral elf in impeccable armor with a massive spear.
- Through the dome they can see that a number of star moths have appeared in the surrounding space, signallig the arrival of an astral elf fleet.
- The dragon lands on the arena floor and the session ends on a cliffhanger with the party badly injured, Joffrey unconscious and Cinammon unfortunately dead.