dnd-lore/Seighell/Joffrey's Diary/Session 14 (Notes).md

18/03/2026

• Session opens in the hold of Garglinale’s ship, the Last Breath, with the party talking with Princess Xedali. She’s telling them that her sister, Xeleth, is attempting to usurp her throne. Their father, Emperor Xavian is dying, and is currently interred in stasis on the Silver Throne, awaiting the Ceremony of Ascension.

• She mentions that she was meant to be on the party’s homeworld having her life force drained by the superweapon being used on the planet but escaped.

• Bubba comments lewdly that he wishes she’d drain his life-force, and she tells him angrily that he is too small, as a halfling, to contain any significant amount of life force.

• Xedali tells them that only one of the royal bloodline can disable the super weapon, cut off the supply of life force and destroy their sun as a result. They would need to use the power of the twin signet rings of their royal family to turn off the weapon.

• The weapon onboard the Imperial Citadel is draining the life energy of other planets to maintain their sun at the peak of its power, in order to enable them to perform the Ceremony of Ascension. One of the royal blood is sent into the star at the peak of its power, when they die, and is ascended to godhood.

• Xedali says that traditionally the ruler and their heir would hold one of the rings each; she has hers but Xeleth has stolen her father’s ring and named herself Empress.

• She mentions that he wasn’t a great ruler and Joffrey says it’s time for a regime change and they should end the succession. Bubba sarcastically suggests that they make Joffrey king, and Joffrey is quite enthusiastic about this, beginning to enquire about how the ascension ritual works, annoying Autismus.

• Xedali tells them that only one of the royal blood can ascend, but Joffrey isn’t entirely convinced, beginning to plot to acquire the rings. She tells them that twins run in the family, there are always twins, and there must be two to wield the rings to control the weapon. She elaborates that the participants don’t need to be willing to contribute, her sister could be forced.

• Joffrey suggests that she should get some rest and retire to quarters while they continue to talk boring things, like logistics, and orders Bubba, like a servant, to take her to a room. This backfires when Bubba, as a prank, takes her to Joffrey’s quarters onboard the Second Wind and tells her those are for her.

• Once Bubba and is gone, Joffrey tries to huddle up with Garglinale and Autismus and says that they can talk plainly, between pureblood Tieflings, now they’re alone.

• He asks Garglinale how he got into this predicament, being in possession of Princess Xedali of the Astral Elves. Garglinale explains that he got into great battle with an Astral Elf Star Moth fleet and they found her prisoner on one of the ships, capturing her, before his own fleet was eventually overwhelmed by more Astral Elves showing up and they had to retreat. His intentions are to use her in some way to destroy the Astral Elves, and also plunder and acquire as much wealth as he can. Joffrey is pleased with his greed and approves, sharing a laugh with him.

• Joffrey tries to make good with him and affirm that he doesn’t really want to usurp command of his fleet, it was just a bit of a fun pissing contest over who got to be called admiral. He asks Garglinale for his thoughts on Crux and if they should follow him to try and meetup with the Griff fleet in Doomspace, noting how unreliable he is. Garglinale says they don’t seem to have much choice, his fleet is destroyed and he can’t afford to purchase any ships or crew from The Rock of Bral in any case, regardless of how insane Crux seems.

• Joffrey tries to cheer him up and promises their autognomes, and the two vampirates they picked up, should be able to help restore his ship and make it great again.

• He asks Autismus for his thoughts on their next steps, and Autismus considers ransoming Xedali, or finding someone willing to pay a bounty for her.

• Joffrey casually tells Garglinale about Bubba’s predicament and how he has the robotic spy snake inside him, that was implanted by the devil Trae’Vhor, and they might be being monitored all the time by devils.

• He suggests that the autognomes should be supervised onboard the Last Breath by their “goblin peasant” Squelch, and Squelch isn’t very pleased by this and refuses, saying he wants to keep an eye on Joffrey.

• Bubba returns and Garglinale goes to manage his ship and says it will need to be towed by the Second Wind for now. There is a brief discussion about the repairs and the storage of the Alchemist’s Fire, and they resolve to focus on the safe storage of it, and repairing the secure hold.

• Bubba slips away, saying that he would like to check on the Alchemist’s Fire, and plans to attempt to take a sample of it. He knows that it is highly volatile and will detonate on contact with air, so he plans to throw a barrel off of the ship, outside the atmosphere bubble, and use the autognomes to collect the samples in a vacuum.

• One of the robots drills into the barrel and the Alchemist’s Fire starts leaking out into space; Bubba collects a sample and leaves the barrel floating in space, risking the next ship to come along running into it.

• Joffrey sees Crux moping and looking off into space at the railing and goes to ask him what’s wrong. Crux starts moping and tells him that hearing about the Imperial Citadel upset him, the Griff fleet was routed assaulting it. They had hundreds of Griff ships, including bombard ships, and they were “swatted away like nothing” before their planet was sucked dry by the super weapon. Joffrey isn’t really listening to him, he’s thinking about the magic signet rings and controlling the weapon; he snaps out of it and claps Crux on the shoulder enthusiastically, says the non sequitur “Ha! You know I do!" then walks off.

• Crux wanders off and goes belowdecks, still depressed after Joffrey ignored him.

• Joffrey talks to Dexa and commands her to plot a course to Doomspace and engage, now that The Last Breath is attached to The Second Wind for towing.

• Ship reaches a point where it can jump into the Astral Sea and the party can see all manner of stars and sights that they have never seen before as they leave the solar system.

• Crux re-emerges from the hold heavily intoxicated

• Several days of travel begin, Bubba is keen to rest as he is still near death from the last fight against the rogue vampirates.

• After the first night, they notice that Squelch and Autismus' imp, Schnitzel Von Krump, are missing and Autismus begins a search of the ship. He determines that there is no sign of them onboard, just a faint smell of sulfur and some scorch marks near where they were sleeping. He attempts several times to resummon his imp but nothing happens. When telling Joffrey that Squelch is missing, Joffrey asks "Who ?". Bubba thoroughly and expertly searches the ships and finds no traces of them.

• Autismus goes to ask Toopla about Doomspace now that they are underway; learns that it was cutoff from the Astral Sea and surrounded by a sort protective dome around it that was blown up by "some angry gods". The destruction of the protective dome opened it back up to the astral sea, but its believed that destroyed the sun, creating a black hole that is gradually consuming things in the system and its surrounded by the shattered pieces of the dome. Asks her if travel through the Astral Sea would be affecting his magic and being able to summon his imp, no, if anything, the astral sea would amplify his magic, she can't help him.

• Joffrey and Bubba spend some time trying to tame/train their animals and fail during day 1.

• Bubba drags Cinammon, his disabled dog, up into the crows nest to go to bed with him.

• Joffrey returns to his room, discovers Princess Xedali asleep in his bed, is annoyed, tries to be polite to her and get her to leave; He amplifies his voice with Thaumaturgy and shouts for Bubba, then has him scurry off to find her alternative quarters. There are a number of spare rooms on the ship that could be used. Joffrey tries to chat her up and invites her to stay in his quarters with him if she likes, but is unsuccessful.

• Once she's gone and out of his hair, Joffrey goes through his advanced skincare routine and puts his face mask on, before putting gold coins over his eyes and settling in to bed.

• Xedali dismisses Bubba but runs into Autismus, who then also makes a pass at her; fortunately with his charisma, he comes off as funny instead of creepy and is dismissed as well once he takes her to a spare room.

• Day 2 dawns and Captain Garglinale is attempting to engage the crew in dice gambling games; Bubba comes to Joffrey and asks him for gold so he can play too and is given 20gp. (He doesn't carry his own money because he has a gambling problem).

• Autismus and Joffrey join in as well; Bubba wins the round and then Garglinale realises that the three of them are colluding to triple their chances of winning and drain his money. Bubba continues playing while Joffrey wanders off, now that he has to play fair, and Autismus goes to have a cigarette. Bubba loses the second and third rounds respectively, then returns 20gp to Joffrey, who puts it back in his personal money pouch.

• Joffrey lets Mr Gibbons out of the brig.

• Bubba and Joffrey spend some more time attempting to train their animals with little success.

• Crux returns, sobered up and now has a polished blunderbuss called “Big Bertha”. He sets up a target range of Astral Elf cutouts and starts shooting at them. Joffrey joins in and hits a target with his crossbow, Bubba misses and Autismus cheats and uses magic missiles that never miss. Joffrey is fascinated by this “firearm”, something that he’s never seen before; he’s not sure how this works.

• Autismus tells Crux that his friend back home “Marty”, had a nice gun too, but he went down to “Port Blartha” and is dead now.

• Day 3: the ship comes across a massive bismuth obelisk floating in the Astral Sea, it’s strange and hard to look at, it seems to impossibly go on forever. As they approach, they come across a Solar (an Angel esq being) standing guard in front of it, blocking them from getting any closer. He has a giant two handed sword and is very majestic.

• Bubba is desperate to get a sample of the dead god and Joffrey is keen to help him by distracting the Solar, as he floats over to the corpse. The Solar flies over to Joffrey, but sends his flying sword to block Bubba’s path. Bubba tries putting alchemists fire on his sword to try and damage it, or get a sample of that instead, but nothing happens (even though alchemist’s fire canonically melts steel beams), it’s indestructible.

- The Solar is “Dave” and he is eternally guarding this obelisk that is the corpse of a god known as “The Endless”. He tells the party that this god must never be allowed to return; it was killed in a conflict millennia ago, but gods can never truly die and if people began worshipping this entity again, it could return. They must keep an eye out for any worshippers or cults based on The Endless and let him know; just pray and he will hear them.

• Dave likes Autismus for some reason, and Autismus decides to become penpals with him and pray to him with updates.

• Bubba tries to whip the bismuth with his fishing rod, to try and get a chunk and snap it off, but it has no effect, it can’t get any purchase.

• They give up on the dead god and Bubba instead asks if Dave can heal his disabled dog; he refuses and scoffs that they tried to bypass him and now are asking for a boon.

• Joffrey tries to talk his way around him and tells him that just as he is manifested by the universe, the party is technically made of star stuff and is in some ways the same; maybe they were sent to test him. He’s not convinced.

• Bubba tries reverse psychology and negging, saying that he obviously isn’t that powerful if he can’t heal animals, and keeps making fun of him to the rest of the party. Dave isn’t swayed by this and says that perhaps it’s the will of the universe and part of a divine plan for his dog to be disabled. This upsets Bubba.

• Joffrey tries to tease information out of him about The Endless, but Dave refuses, on grounds that he’s trying to control info about the god to stop him coming back.

• Autismus tries to ask him about his imp but he isn’t really able to help, just tells him not to worry about him.

• Joffrey mentions Bubba’s robot snake that’s inside him and asks for help with removing that, but Dave similarly isn’t helpful, he can only really totally destroy and smite Bubba. Joffrey tries to force the issue and starts playing Snake Jazz, but this just causes Bubba to have a seizure and Dave is unmoved.

• The party leaves and continues to Doomspace.

• Arrive and there are loads of giant, broken crystalline shards in space, pieces of the dome that was destroyed around the system. They go to Toopla and consult the Astral Orrery, seeing the black hole at the centre of the system. There are 3 main planets, one of which is quite close to the black hole and is being consumed. Crux arrives and tells them they are heading to the moon “Arun” where they can find his sergeant, that is currently on a mission to convince the natives to join them. Sergeant is called Warwick Blastemoff.


• Joffrey checks on the progress of the repairs to The Last Breath, but it is still not under its own power. He reveals that he’s been working on his novel “The Art of Barter” during the voyage.

• The “Aartuks” are the denizens of Arun that Blastemoff has been trying to parley with. The party forms an away team and lands on the planet with Crux. There are massive furrows in the surface of the moon, and in these deep valleys there are Tarrasques; this is apparently their breeding place. The Aartuks are reputed to be plant people.

• The party makes their way through the rainforest, comes to a clearing with some pools of acid etc, they hear a shot in the distance and then see the running form of Blastemoff. He’s failed in his mission to convince the Aartuks to join them and they are now pursuing him; the look like 5 limbed plant-starfish-monkeys that spit acid.

• Combat ensues and Autismus lobs two fireballs in the first round and almost kills all the enemies. Joffrey hangs back and fires his crossbow while Bubba gets involved. It’s relatively one-sided, although Crux does get quite injured after being dropped into acid by one of the Aartuks that had grappled him.

• Joffrey questions Crux about what just happened and who attacked them, finds out that those primitive creatures were the aartuks and they don’t actually seem to have much industry or ships etc.

• They start moving back through the rainforest towards the ship and Bubba gets a sample of plant acid just before they leave the clearing. Partway through the jungle, they find Blastemoff that had fled earlier, and he explains that the aartuks weren’t receptive to his brand of diplomacy and that they are much more primitive than they expected.


• Blastemoff says that once they got to Doomspace, their communication equipment stopped working, likely due to all the strange crystalline structures in the region. Crux asks what other opportunities there are in this system, Blastemoff tells him that there isn’t that much going on in the region, there is a powerful merchant prince arms dealer that the other races are scared to defy. His name is Merchant Prince Vacath and Joffrey is very interested in meeting another man of uncscrupulous commerce.

• Blastemoff tells them that when the first planet fell to the black hole, Vacath helped the population relocate to another planet and armed them etc. He has the other races waging endless wars against each other, and has them doing eternal conflict in his arena for amusement.


• As they are having this discussion there is a disturbance in the ground, and 2 bulettes emerge, attacking the party and causing a cliffhanger.